Royal Hospital Nurse Hoax victim takes her own life

[Hoddy]

Keith Vaz's Wikipedia entry is worth a read.

I know a christian asian who doesn't want Vaz to speak on his behalf.

Hoddy

[powerdesal]

Wasn't Morrissey the geriatric has-been ex pop singer who was recently in Argentina making comments about the Falklands, or was that another cretin.

[PaulT]

[quote user="powerdesal"]Wasn't Morrissey the geriatric has-been ex pop singer who was recently in Argentina making comments about the Falklands, or was that another cretin.[/quote]

I think it was this cretin

[just john]

[quote user="Clarkkent"]I'm not concerned about the appropriateness of the remarks, just considering that, in this litigious age, it might be wiser to avoid speculating on something of which we have no direct knowledge. [/quote]

No prob, I'm sure Q has a loose £50k [:D]

 

[Gardengirl]

Morissey is apparently a has-been performer, who was also guilty of making remarks about the Falklands being Argentinian recently. I hadn't even heard of him until then. Thought he was just some crazy man who was seeking publicity. Vaz has the same but different reasons for his involvement.When I first heard he'd been very involved, I thought some of this family must live in his constituency - but no. He has taken this family under his wing for his own reasons, I think; he had such a chequered past as an MP, yet has managed to drag himself up to  be in the privy council, if my research is correct.

 This poor family was no doubt content to have such an influential spokesperson with a common background to them at their side. I feel that they are being exploited by this man.

[Clair]

Genuine question (please do not attack me for being insensitive to the family's pain):

I don't know if I'm alone in feeling this way, but I am mightily

uncomfortable when watching a victim's relatives talking of their

unending grief in front of a press pack.

I really don't get the need to make a public declaration. This has always been a source of total puzzlement.

Can someone explain?

[Hoddy]

Well, I can't really explain it Clair, but I do think that Vaz is using this family under the pretence of helping them. I do not believe, for example, that they would have turned up outside the House of Commons where there just happened to be lots of reporters to demonstrate their grief and be hugged by Vaz, if he had not orchestrated it.

Hoddy

[NickP]

I'm with you in all respects on this one Clair, I feel that grief is a very private thing and not something I would wish to parade on the TV. I have no explanation to offer as to why someone would want to "go public". Although in bad times I welcome the support of close friends and family, the public route would not be for me.

[Clair]

[quote user="Hoddy"]Well, I can't really explain it Clair, but I do think that Vaz is using this family under the pretence of helping them. I do not believe, for example, that they would have turned up outside the House of Commons where there just happened to be lots of reporters to demonstrate their grief and be hugged by Vaz, if he had not orchestrated it.

Hoddy[/quote]

You may well be right in this instance, Hoddy.

The encounter with the press outside Westminster, the individual public tributes today... they just jar with me.

But speaking generally, what is it that makes people feel the need to share with the world at large something which, to me, is intensely private?

I don't get it. I really don't get it.

[Clair]

[quote user="NickP"]I'm with you in all respects on this one Clair, I feel that grief is a very private thing and not something I would wish to parade on the TV. I have no explanation to offer as to why someone would want to "go public". Although in bad times I welcome the support of close friends and family, the public route would not be for me.[/quote]

I know exactly what you mean.

I could not even bring myself to mention my father's death to my colleagues to explain my absence from work.

[nectarine]

Public displays of grief ..... all very sad. But something at the back of my mind thinks this is all leading up to some massive compensation claim. Of course money can't bring back the nurse and I am sure the grief is genuine, but with the involvement of said MP it's all a little too ... er, orchestrated ... for my liking.

[Rabbie]

[quote user="nectarine"]Public displays of grief ..... all very sad. But something at the back of my mind thinks this is all leading up to some massive compensation claim. Of course money can't bring back the nurse and I am sure the grief is genuine, but with the involvement of said MP it's all a little too ... er, orchestrated ... for my liking.[/quote]Unfortunately it's a sad sign of the times that public displays of grief nhave become more and more common nowadays. Remember the mass hysteria when Diana died.  Of course it hurts when a loved one dies but I was brought up to maintain my dignity in public and only show emotion in private.

[Russethouse]

My own feeling is that when a loved one dies it is somehow comforting to find that they mattered to other people too.

This shared grief used to just be expressed via letters and cards, but these days somehow things have expanded.

It's not everyone's cup of tea, but I suspect there will be more of it.

[PaulT]

Where's Max Clifford?

[Clair]

[quote user="Russethouse"]My own feeling is that when a loved one dies it is somehow comforting to find that they mattered to other people too...[/quote]

It's nice to know they mattered to people they knew and who knew them, certainly, but this is the general public, the world at large...[8-)]

[Pommier]

Totally agree Clair. It's strange enough when these displays of public 'grief' are for celebrities who somehow people feel that they know, but where is the comfort in media orchestrated displays of emotion from people who never knew or cared about the deceased person when they were alive.

[Chiefluvvie]

Totally agree - I smell a rat.

I'd just like to know what on earth has happened to the 'other' nurse - the one who gave out all he info???

Chiefluvvie

[Quillan]

[quote user="PaulT"]Where's Max Clifford?[/quote]

Nice one Paul [;-)] Probably keeping his head well down at the moment.

[Clair]

[quote user="Chiefluvvie"]...

I'd just like to know what on earth has happened to the 'other' nurse - the one who gave out all he info???

Chiefluvvie[/quote]

I don't need, nor want to know.

There's been enough drama over one person without throwing another into the public arena.

[Chiefluvvie]

....we'll see Clair......

Chiefluvvie

[Rabbie]

[quote user="Clair"][quote user="Russethouse"]My own feeling is that when a loved one dies it is somehow comforting to find that they mattered to other people too...[/quote]

It's nice to know they mattered to people they knew and who knew them, certainly, but this is the general public, the world at large...[8-)]


[/quote]Well put. I can never understand the excessive displays of grief over people they have never met.

[just john]

[quote user="Clair"][quote user="NickP"]I'm with you in all respects on this one Clair, I feel that grief is a very private thing and not something I would wish to parade on the TV. I have no explanation to offer as to why someone would want to "go public". Although in bad times I welcome the support of close friends and family, the public route would not be for me.[/quote]

I know exactly what you mean.
I could not even bring myself to mention my father's death to my colleagues to explain my absence from work.


[/quote]

[quote user="Rabbie"][quote user="Clair"][quote user="Russethouse"]My own feeling is that when a loved one dies it is somehow comforting to find that they mattered to other people too...[/quote]

It's nice to know they mattered to people they knew and who knew them, certainly, but this is the general public, the world at large...[8-)]

[/quote]Well put. I can never understand the excessive displays of grief over people they have never met.[/quote]

Normally I'd agree, But this was always a public event, ending finally in a publicised death, so I think can understand the family being carried along and wanting the public to know just how much restrained anger and unnecessary grief they are suffering perhaps ?. . .

[Clair]

[quote user="just john "]Normally I'd agree, But this was always a public event, ending finally in a publicised death, so I think can understand the family being carried along and wanting the public to know just how much restrained anger and unnecessary grief they are suffering perhaps ?. . . [/quote]

To me, it's still unnecessary and puzzling.

They could simply expressed their thanks, or asked a trusted person to do so, but for them to go in front of the press to say specifically "I miss you, I love you" makes me see them in a different light. It looks like a theatrical event set up with no other expectation than to tug at the heartstrings of a trapped audience.

I feel manipulated.

When I asked about that yesterday, I did not want to focus on this particular family, this particular event.

I was asking a general question about a victim's relatives talking of their

unending grief in front of a press pack and making a public declaration of (to me) an intensely private pain.

[just john]

[quote user="Clair"] 
 It looks like a theatrical event set up with no other expectation than to tug at the heartstrings of a trapped audience.
I feel manipulated.

 [/quote]

I agree, of course it is intensely private, until the media, and members of parliament conspire to make it public, I feel that the family have been manipulated;

No differently to other events from both ends of the spectrum, that are overtaken by media et al, witness the events now in Syria and the US . . .

difficult to be private with a camera crew outside your door . . .

 

[Clair]

[quote user="just john "]... difficult to be private with a camera crew outside your door . . . [/quote]

Not really.

You can just politely choose to not speak.