We're selling up and going back

[Russethouse]

>>The fact that I, you or any other person, have been able to live in a foreign country, to manage and sort out a home, to cope with a strange language, culture and laws, to create a business or held a job and carry on a social life, to me that is an enormous bonus. At an interview I can see that this person is willing to put him/herself on the line and is able to ADAPT…<<<

Thats the rub though - *some* people (not all I know) are returning not after an adventure or 'experiment' but because things just haven't worked out for them, they were not able to do many of things you site and many rather wish they had never moved to France (or wherever) in the first place.

Sadly I have good friends in this category and I certainly do not envy their current position.

[Deby]

I feel as if I need to add to this discussion.  I honestly feel that I (we) have not failed in France.  We  came here for a change of life, even a better quality of life.  Now we are returning to the UK.  I have enjoyed France so much, its people, its country, the food, the weather, the culture all things French.

Now my life needs different things, I am in a different phase/chapter. We are different. I do not feel at all things have not worked out or failed. I have just moved on, our needs are different.  For all those which are coming to France, the glass will almost definitely be half full and why not?

I feel I have learned so much and if a future employer thinks I have a huge gaping hole in my CV - then I am not the person for the job.  I will find a job who will see that my life here has been positive and fruitful.  I will not worry that the last few years do not fit in with an employers requirements.

Having said that, I will let you know how I get on.

Deby

[ChezShells]

Some good posts here

I too feel myself having to justify our move back - even putting the words 'move back' doesn't seem right.

France is a good move, the people are so welcoming even to the most shy of people (me!)

To a certain extent I like the French ways, I feel like touring the UK in a motorhome now, although I doubt Moss Side has the facilities for emptying our daily waste! and im not a lover of standing by the side of the road giving a water sample like so many do without batting an eyelid. The weather has been good and the cats have really enjoyed it, feel sorry for them returning to a concrete jungle, having said that I dont think they were thinking of us when they brought all sorts of wildlife in the house and letting them go then going back out to give their own sample, but at least they buried it.

But I can't do their food. Foire gras (spelling!) Tongue in gravy, bloody horse for gods sake, VILE!
I wont be taking beans on toast for granted again thats for sure. If anything you would have thought you would get Heinz beans anywhere.

[Ejc]

In response to le bouffon - all I was saying was that we don't want to put ourselves in the position that we move to France, start to live our dream and then our money runs out and we're forced back to the UK where the work is, and reading between the lines on other posts and on other forums - that is something that does happen and we don't want it to happen to us. I'm not moaning at all about not being able to move there now - we will move and when we do we'll be secure and will be able to live simply and comfortably.

As a mother of 3 sons - I want to be able to visit the UK and see them when I want to and that takes money - so we need to make plans now to be able to live later - it's called deleayed gratification. When we do move, we will not owe anyone anything and will have a regular income to support us - we won't need much, but will need to pay any taxes, cotisans etc. So the choice we have made is to put our move on hold for probably another 5 years so we can fund the renovations we want to make and the life we then hope to live for another 20 25 or even more years.

 

Good Luck Lee with your move back to the UK - let us know how you're doing.

[le bouffon]

Ejc,maybe it is a thin line between living and retiring in france and it is a personal choice when to move,we have made the move and are glad we did so.

[Boghound]

[quote]Some good posts here I too feel myself having to justify our move back - even putting the words 'move back' doesn't seem right. France is a good move, the people are so welcoming even to the most sh...[/quote]

Good for you Lee....but why you feel as though you are under an obligation to justify the move, beggers belief....Sod what people think...You are still at an age where your whole life is ahead of you...just do it!

France is like an "Open-Prison" and it's inmates need time out to survive.

Oh...There are lots of places in and around Moss Side to empty a loo.

[Llantony]

[quote]I know nice people and nice places in both countries. I couldn't say one was 'nicer' than the other, they are different that is all. My very very old aunt spoke to me on the phone the other day and s...[/quote]

Does that mean you come from the East Midlands Teamed Up?  We hoping to move in the opposite direction next year - but I'm wary of 'burning our boats' so we could never afford to return.  I'm just saying we'll try it for a year or 2.

[Teamedup]

LOL Llantony,  My mother did and my very very old Aunt does

[letrangere]

Fully understand Ejc's prudent approach and agree with every word of Debra's post.  Although money (or lack of) clearly isn't the only reason people return to Britain, I suspect some people seriously under-estimate how much money they will need to live on in France, wrongly basing the general cost of living on the relative affordability of property and wine.  It's easily done and, in all fairness, it's not until you actually live in France and start paying bills that you realise how darn expensive some things are.  M

[Alexis]

A lot of people dream of coming here for years.  They do all the calculations.  Learn French.  Never dream of employing a person not registered.  Stock pile the beans and HP sauce.  Bake their own bread to make decent toast....

Then they don't like it here.

No one can know if they are going to like a place until they have lived there.  Holidays don't count.

If you have some money coming in, it seems that the main reason for returning is boredom.  After you have finished renovating the too big house you bought and sorted out the too much land, there is nothing to do.

I'm lucky there because this place won't be finished for years

I am still up for another adventure though and we are just waiting for OH to retire.

[RobS]

We are slowly renovating a holiday home and friends keep asking "will you retire to France" and are surprised when I say no. I love France but I also love the UK, problems and all. I envisage spending a lot more time in France when we do retire, but at heart I'm a city lad and the prospect of spending my last years in a rural setting (however nice it is) fills me with dread. We plan to keep both properties and spend 6 months in each (summers and autumn in France). I would never sell my uk home but may move to the south west to be nearer the ports.

[Debra]

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[Furry Knickers]

[quote]Talking of Radio Luxembourg, who remembers Horace Batchelor? Were getting very musical here, what with Bobbie Gentry and all of these songs that FK says he is going to write. A song that seems to be...[/quote]

I am thinking of selling me house in Wyre Piddle to move nearer to the boat to France too! I thought of Dover, but it is still a long drive from Calais or Bologne to Normandy. I now think I fancy the Isle Of Wight, that is handy for Portsmouth and Normandie too! And I would be surrounded by the sea (I love the sea, and sea creatures) They have a place called Cows on the Isle of Wight! I am told by Mrs Gupta, that it is full of cow's and boats. I had a little boat a good few years ago, it was called Plastic PuddleDuck, it was a lovely little thing. I remember when I was 30  years old, back in Great Haywood, after a terrible row with Uniquea (me then girlfriend) I ran away from home, and spent the night on the Plastic Puddleduck with me little Pug (Oliver) We had a great time singing songs and playing I Spy into the early hours. I loved that Pug! We were great mates, and never ever had any fights or arguments. I wish women were more like Pugs!

I heard the Jamaican version of that song on Nostalgie, Mr Conker! It is very catchy, like that Agadoo song! I don't remember Horace Batchelor, I  remember Stewart Henry and Emperor Roscoff though! They never had Parrots in County Kildare untill very recently. I am off to a party at me neighbours now, it is to celebrate their new laminate floor in the living room.

[Alexis]

No, no Furry Knickers.  All us carefull folk in Brittany drive up to Calais or Bologne to catch the ferry.

Normandy is even closer.

I hope you're not paying Brittany Ferry prices.........

[Gitane]

[quote]"Michelle is looking forward to going back to being a teacher" Yikes! She must be bored.[/quote]

Well. It's better than working for a living!!!

 Jerry Atrick.

 

[ChezShells]

Teaching.

Im not talking a class of 30 little spotty gits.

[Annodomini]

[quote]incompetent managers I have rarely spoken to managers in France about anything. They are elusive beings, who leave their staff to their own incompetence, knowing full well that they hav...[/quote]

Hi Chezshells,

I don't know how hard it was for you in finding your house in France, but for us it was extremely hard. Location, type of house, village life, not far from at least a major town, near to the sea, near to medical facilities, schools etc.... And rentable for 3 months of summer if vacated by us for a good income was a bonus. It took us 9 trips from the UK to France at a phenomenal cost in our search. And we did'nt get everything we wanted. But fo a first it ticked most of the boxes.

This was before prices shot up in France.

Nor would I like to go back to UK, and repeat a stressful life that is imposed by the character of the UK. Needing high incomes to pay or even obtain a reasonable house (which you have now become accustomed to in France) by way of a high mortgage cost. Especially in the Bath area.

I don't say - don't go back, that is your choice. But consider alternatives like renting for 6 to 12 months in the UK to appreciate and remind yourself what you have in France.

You can get an excellent idea about renting or buying from sites like www.rightmove.co.uk

I love UK but the relentless stress was just too much. I have one life and intend to find alternative ways to the 9 to 5, especially now with the development of the internet.

I have been in France for a year and lucky to have no mortgage. I find the monthly saving I make by being in France and not paying monthly for a large UK mortgage and council tax more than I could possibly save whilst I was in the UK. 

These are my initial thoughts on hearing about those who want to go back because of mix feelings, stressful life in the UK with no time to oneself verses a more paced life in France that creates a little more time to do the things you've always wanted to do, but somehow boredom is allowed to set in rather than achieving new things.

All the best.

Annodomini.

  

   

 

[SaligoBay]

These are my initial thoughts on hearing about those who want to go back because of mix feelings, stressful life in the UK with no time to oneself verses a more paced life in France that creates a little more time to do the things you've always wanted to do, but somehow boredom is allowed to set in rather than achieving new things.

Maybe some areas just don't have much to offer in the way of achievement opportunities?

Crocheting toilet-roll holders in Provençal colours could lose its allure after a few years.

[Neilc]

Good Luck Chezshells

I used to post a little here but returned to the UK about three years ago. I left a big spread (4 houses 15 acres etc) to come back initially to a 1 bed 2nd floor flat with no outdoor space in zone 2 London. The first week was really difficult but then I realised that London is absolutely full of parks, rivers, outdoor spaces etc. I came back because my partner was bored, I was still enjoying it (only their for a couple of years). We left England for the usual reasons stressful life blah blah blah. What I have found in the three years since being back is its amazing how much of the stress was due to myself. I didn’t need that bigger flat, that better car, that more expensive suit. I could catch buses and tubes, no need for taxis.

 

Having a clean break for a couple of years from work allowed me to return without the baggage. It was an eye opener  at how much easier my old job was than I thought. Being away has also opened my eyes to all the things I didn’t have whilst in france. Like you I was under 40 when I went france and really was too young to live the retired life. For me London is thriving again with regard to entertainment (a lot of it free) so no need to spend a fortune going out. It also has an amazing vitality that the country side does not

All in all both going to France and coming back were the best things I’ve ever done don’t regret either.

 

Ps As you did in france I’ve turned property in London and now have a flat with more than one bedroom and a garden. So just cause you might have to step down the ladder a bit when you first come back doesn’t mean its forever

[letrangere]

What I have found in the three years since being back is its amazing how much of the stress was due to myself

What an incredibly helpful post.  Neil I think I remember you from before, were you in 47?  And what you say about stress is so true.  On the verge of cracking up some years ago I took myself off to stress management classes, sounds ludicrous and cost a bomb but it honestly changed my life.  For it made me realise it wasn't what I was physically doing that was creating the stress, it was my approach to everything that was causing the problems.  Learn to take a more laid back attitude, recognise the best in wherever you are, stop aiming for perfection all the time (my greatest sin) and it's amazing how much nicer life becomes.  M

[Deby]

Thanks for that Neil, we have just returned and I am everso pleased to be back. I just want to chat to everyone. People seem so friendly and ready to chat, but I am sure it is all me really. My positive outlook. I think well, I am going to enjoy this until the honeymoon period is over and the dark, cold nights start to roll in. Now, I think it will be me who will control my perspective not the environment.

So far, I am enjoying the fantastic customer service, the choice of food, shops being open late, the noise, the activity, the bustle.

Not too struck on the traffic, but boy is everyone so curteous! The quality of the food is naff, mind you I cheated a bit at first and bought some of those pre-prepared meals, just for the novelty. Disgusting! My daughter would not be fobbed off either. So will have to find myself a decent butcher and grocer. When I moved to France nearly 6 years ago, I was thrilled by all the choice of lettuces, now I am thrilled by all the choices of leaves available here. Things have certainly changed, I will definitely look at this glass as being half full.

Next task is the introduction to the new school - off to buy a uniform tomorrow and I cannot wait!

Deby

[ChezShells]

Good post by Neil.

Nice one Deby.

Looks like we're on our way 1st week in October, someones looking after the cats and the house, I might have a job, Michelles got em queing up but she having Thyroid probs again after her medication has changed! so we're in for a rough ride until thats sorted, Thyroid! - could be part of the reason of our return, or failure as one @RSHOLE puts it.

Got a fair bit of interest in the house this month, if they get back to us that is so fingers crossed but Michelle is keen on having a house in France to escape to, we may well be back for next summer.

So, im not so sure about leaving the house without selling first but Im looking forward to moving to a different part of England, just hope Michelles up to an interview or we're knackered! and im hoping my previous employer will see sense even tho they gave me redundancy a couple of years ago (probably seeing sense then!)

Tescos breakfast here I come.

[SaligoBay]

Neil, Deby, and Chezshells,

Well done to you all!   Neil is absolutely right, 42 is too young to feel your life is at an end.

Good continuation, guys!

[Val_2]

I would also like to thank you three for "owning up" about going back and how it is going. Many people wouldn't have the courage to do so as it could look as if they have failed,especially if they made a big song and dance about going inthe first place. Those of us that have moved from the UK are not all suited to a different lifestyle and sometimes just grin and bear it and suffer in silence which can eat into you stress-wise. For me personally,I couldn't go back to traffic and lots of people, I have become too countryfied which was where I was born and raised anyway and cities or even large towns still hold a bit of awe for me. I wish you all good luck for the future and hope you will all be happy and contented whilst looking at your time in France as an adventure and perhaps once you have retired,you may return again.

[Annodomini]

Good luck with the move.

Keep posting developments in the UK.

 

AnnoDomini