We're selling up and going back

[SaligoBay]

Same conversation going on over on TF http://www.totalfrance.com/france/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7031

I only say this because I joined in, but my post was a bit LONG, and I'm a bit embarrassed to repeat it all. 

Anyone can be bored anywhere.  I don't get bored because I DO have a very low boredom threshold, and have to keep on butterflying from one thing to another.

As well as what I said in that other post over there, other things crystallise.  After a recent trip to the UK, I've decided that 1. I prefer beer to wine, and 2. I like novelty and innovation and change and progress (probably that low boredom threshold thing again!). 

So what am I doing in a wine-soaked country that tries so hard to live in the past?  Bof, just living here!!  There's always the internet to keep us all sane!   

[Gine]

Most of the people I know that are going back find the rural life boring.

To be honest, I am not really sure of the wisdom of moving to a rural way of life when you only have experience of a city. I suspect they would be bored in rural England too. Funnily, none of them move back to rural England....

[Patf]

Re-reading and re-thinking perhaps the problem, for me anyway,rather than boredom is something harder to admit to - loneliness. We are so far from our neighbours and friends, people are busy, we hardly ever see anyone. Then there's the language problem. Though my french is quite good it's still hard work having a conversation in french, so that adds to the feelings of isolation. But having said all this, we both have more positives so say about France than negatives, and I would be very sad to leave . Pat.

[Logan]

Over the 20 odd years I have been a resident of France I have noticed most Brits who come to live here remain on average between 2-3 years before returning. The principle cause of such returns seems to be the inability to make a decent living in a country which is relatively expensive to live. Those who remain are usually the retired with pensions or private means. I guess these returnees have the experience of living in another country but they also have to start all over again within the UK economic system which is ever changing. A big hole in a CV is not always looked upon with favour in a competitive environment. The going could be just as tough as the one you are leaving.

Good luck.

[Teamedup]

I am now bored. If we hadn't planned to leave I would be doing one of two things. Looking to move somewhere in a town or city, or joining things in a local town or city and putting up with the driving, which I'm sure I would get sick of and we've have to move there anyway.

 

I really am all campagned out in a general sense.  

 

The views, well my views are spectacular,  I will miss them, I will always love them, but I can't just sit and watch them anymore exclusively. I need to be doing something, especially now kids have gone and all the voluntary work is almost over, although I could continue it if I was staying. It's years since I've had any of my own kids involved in these activities.  And as yet no parent has volunteered to take my place.

 

I am ready for a change, that's all.And I miss the sea, I really really miss the sea.

 

Logan we are retiring and returning. I know some who have done this after many many years in France and retired to the UK. Most have stayed and been fine, however a few have returned to France within those two to three  years. They hadn't kept much contact with the UK and as far as I was concerned made very odd choices about where to live. And one couple, well it looked to me like after twenty odd years in France, they had thought to take up exactly where they had left off in the UK in the 1970's. Only nowhere is like the 1970's anymore and they weren't thirty'ish any more either.  France and where they were from in the UK is quite different. This couple was very bitter that everything had changed and I just thought that they were con for expecting it not to have.

 

 

[zeb]

What would you be doing right now Lee and Jon, and where would you like to be living if you were in the UK?

I'm a bit like Alexis - not enough hours in the day for everything I want to do, and during a recent trip back to the UK we couldn't wait to get back here. I love my house, my work (part-time) and the area, the seasons, the lack of shops and the fact that I don't feel pressurised into wearing the latest fashion or owning the latest gadgets.

However, having said that, I was pulling my hair out at the end of February, as I had got fed up with long winter evenings and telly watching. Am planning to open a French/English book exchange here one afternoon/evening a week from October now that the barn/sitting room is nearly finished so that I meet more people, and also finish my bonk buster perhaps!

[Furry Knickers]

Mrs Up

I lived by the sea in Milltown Malbay for 2 years, in all that time, I only ever went to the beach 700 times. You do get fed up of the same old surroundings don't you? You only miss a thing when it's gone, then you appreciate what you had! Take your Nose for example! We all neglect our noses and take them for granted, but What would you do without it?

 Why don't they sing songs about the country any more? They used to sing loads of songs about the country back in the 60's and 70's! remember Country Roads, I'm Going To Be A Country Girl Again, Your Going To Find Me Out In The Country, Go Wild In The Country, I Am A Cider Drinker, Love me Love My Dog. They never sang much about the sea did they? I wonder why was that? I was always bewildered about that Billy Jo Spears woman! Why did she keep going on about a blanket? who would think about writing a song about a blanket? I must write a song about the sea! I could incorporate the Sea, the country and a dog in it! As far as I know, no one has done that yet!

[SaligoBay]

Why did she keep going on about a blanket? who would think about writing a song about a blanket?

It had great cultural significance.   It was a ground blanket, if you remember.   Blanket-grinding is a respected ancient tradition, with the earliest references to it dating back to the pre-Magnus Magnusson era.

[letrangere]

I guess these returnees have the experience of living in another country but they also have to start all over again within the UK economic system which is ever changing. A big hole in a CV is not always looked upon with favour in a competitive environment. The going could be just as tough as the one you are leaving.

If you view your French experience - whatever shape or form it took - as a positive thing, you will hopefully be able to talk about it confidently when job hunting in the UK and convince prospective employers that you are a stronger candidate for the job because of what you've done in France.  But it isn't easy and some companies may be reluctant to employ people who have had the wherewithal to move abroad fearing that they could just as easily take off again.  Both my husband and I encountered that very early on in our careers, and I'm sure we were often (quite rightly as it happens) seen as "flighty".   But it depends what you do for a living.  An idea might be to try and get something in the UK that can draw on your French experience.

However, the problems you face in the first few months after you return to the UK - finding somewhere to live, finding a job, re-adapting to the pace and way of life - may well start you thinking, "perhaps it wasn't so bad in France after all". 

I admire Pat's courage in admitting to loneliness as I'm sure many, many others feel the same way.  And it doesn't help either when you also miss not just companionship but family.  A Forum member friend e mailed me this morning and said, "You should have also said it's easier to live in France if you don't have have elderly family or grandchildren back in England."

M

 

[ChezShells]

Id like to have a go at living in rural England but doubt we could afford property. Ideally i'd like to live near Bath.

We went from a busy life with stressfull jobs to moving here, done the house and now want to do something else.

Looking forward to a new location, warburtons bread, buying a decent car, muffins (baps), the Trafford center, decent buscuits, english papers, Michelle is looking forward to going back to being a teacher, being able to just ask for what I want without looking in a book to translate it, going round to my mates, seeing people in pubs (good ones), broadband, boddies bitter, bacon, lancashire crumbly cheese, red leicester.

Not looking forward to -
Traffic, car getting broken into, hearing neighbours, a back yard, expensive petrol, car tax, yobs, incompetant managers, speed cameras, rain.

We have only just had the cats jabbed for rabies so we're here for at least 6 months before we can return.

[Teamedup]

incompetent managers

 

 

I have rarely spoken to managers in France about anything. They are elusive beings, who leave their staff to their own incompetence, knowing full well that they have no authority to do anything about anything at all, even if they wanted to.

Now in the UK, I have found that if the staff are incompetent, a manager, in my neck of the woods at least, will try and sort things out.

 

As always topsy turvy differences.

[Logan]

Perhaps the best idea is to think very hard and recall all the reasons you left UK in the first place. Then follow with the realisation that all those things await you on or return. They may even have got worse. What also may have changed in the iterim is your ability to tollerate them.

[Weedon]

I remember being bored..at least I remember using the phrase "I'm bored there's nothing to do" but my mum sympathised and said "you can do some jobs for me if you want".  I suddenly found I was not so bored as I thought I was and before so long I grew out of it.  My kids went through the same phase and they grew out of it as well some years ago.

weedon

[Tarn]

"Michelle is looking forward to going back to being a teacher"

Yikes! She must be bored.

[Alexis]

I have never understood that song.

What exactly did they throw off the Talahatchie (sp) Bridge?

Was it a baby?

 

[SaligoBay]

Are you sure you're not confusing blanket-grinding with truc-tossing? 

How many interpretations do you want?

BJ and Girl were throwing their illicit baby off the bridge.

BJ and Girl were throwing flowers off the bridge (echoed at end of song).

BJ was a repressed homosexual who couldn't live with himself, no matter what was thrown off the bridge (this is the film's interpretation).

BJ was in fact a girl, so the whole thing was an illicit lesbian relationship.  They were throwing a voodoo doll of a man off the bridge.

[SaligoBay]

incompetant managers,

You obviously haven't had to deal with French management then, Chezshells!   EVERYBODY I know who has talked about this, French/British/American, whatever, says that French management is just awful.   "Le plus retrograde du monde". 

[Teamedup]

Logan did everyone but me really run away, do an escape artist thing to quit the shores of the british isles? I hope not. Surely there were some adventurer?

 

Saligo, I have rarely seen a manager in France, they must be nocturnal or somat, because they never seem to be available when their businesses are open.

[letrangere]

French management is just awful.

As someone who reports to one, I couldn't agree more.  And that's despite the year at INSEAD.  M

[Catalpa]

[quote]French management is just awful. As someone who reports to one, I couldn't agree more. And that's despite the year at INSEAD. M[/quote]

rotfl!

Nooooo... it is *because* of their year at INSEAD!!

[Alexis]

Gosh SB.  You know so much.  I reckon it was a baby.

Can you explain the following lyrics?

"Lay down girl let me push"......I've forgotten the rest.  I'm sure that it will come to me though

[Teamedup]

 

 

Ode To Billie Joe

( Bobbie Gentry )

It was the third of June, another sleepy, dusty Delta day
I was out choppin' cotton and my brother was balin' hay
And at dinner time we stopped and walked back to the house to eat
And Mama hollered out the back door "y'all remember to wipe your feet"
And then she said "I got some news this mornin' from Choctaw Ridge"
"Today Billy Joe MacAllister jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge"

And Papa said to Mama as he passed around the blackeyed peas
"Well, Billy Joe never had a lick of sense, pass the biscuits, please"
"There's five more acres in the lower forty I've got to plow"
And Mama said it was shame about Billy Joe, anyhow
Seems like nothin' ever comes to no good up on Choctaw Ridge
And now Billy Joe MacAllister's jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge

And Brother said he recollected when he and Tom and Billie Joe
Put a frog down my back at the Carroll County picture show
And wasn't I talkin' to him after church last Sunday night?
"I'll have another piece of apple pie, you know it don't seem right"
"I saw him at the sawmill yesterday on Choctaw Ridge"
"And now you tell me Billie Joe's jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge"

And Mama said to me "Child, what's happened to your appetite?"
"I've been cookin' all morning and you haven't touched a single bite"
"That nice young preacher, Brother Taylor, dropped by today"
"Said he'd be pleased to have dinner on Sunday, oh, by the way"
"He said he saw a girl that looked a lot like you up on Choctaw Ridge"
"And she and Billy Joe was throwing somethin' off the Tallahatchie Bridge"

A year has come 'n' gone since we heard the news 'bout Billy Joe
And Brother married Becky Thompson, they bought a store in Tupelo
There was a virus going 'round, Papa caught it and he died last Spring
And now Mama doesn't seem to wanna do much of anything
And me, I spend a lot of time pickin' flowers up on Choctaw Ridge

And drop them into the muddy water off the Tallahatchie Bridge

[SaligoBay]

"Lay down girl let me push"......I've forgotten the rest.  I'm sure that it will come to me though

I think you're getting your songs confused again, Alexis!! 

But I reckon it was a baby too. 

[Furry Knickers]

"Lay down girl let me push"

I think It goes "Lay down girl let me push you under the blanket, I'll get the blanket from the market, and we'll go shopping once again, to that spot down by the Bull Ring, where our blanket buying first began"

I remember when I was a young lad back in County Kildare, I heard a song that caused terrible ructions all over Ireland and was even banned from radio Shamrock! it was about a woman going round waving her Knickers in the air, does any of yous remember it? Mrs Up, do you know it? They thought it would encourage women in Ireland to start doing it too! You could not mention knickers in public in them days in County Kildare, let alone go round waving them in the air!

I used to sneak out of the house to hear it on radio Luxembourg at Connor O'Shea's house when his Mammy was working as a solicitor in Dublin on saturday nights. I would tell me Mammy "I'm just going to help Connor wash his Spaniel" Oh how we would laugh our heads off! we used to listen to songs about riding pushbikes and eating mouldy old bread too! God, we had great times!

[Teamedup]

I might,