We're selling up and going back

[ChezShells]

As the forum is lacking in 'Living in France' topics

We have decided to sell up and go back to England. Was selling and doing another house up here.

Why?

Money, family and boredom

It wasn't 'forever' but would have liked a bit longer

Life in France is nicer and people have said (on my return visits) that Im a nicer person!!!!!!

Had our ups and downs but France is a nicer place to live.

Just got to sell the house !!!

[Teamedup]

I know nice people and nice places in both countries. I couldn't say one was 'nicer' than the other, they are different that is all.

My very very old aunt spoke to me on the phone the other day and she asked 'are you coming home me duck?' and I said 'yes' and she replied 'good'.  We never emigrated here, we knew we'd be going back eventually and we're expected back too. So in the not too distant future, we will also have a house to sell.

[Evianers]

Many years ago when we still lived in South Africa, British friends there wanted to do the same thing - pack up and go bak 'home', which they did, to get away from rising crime, frenetic pace of life etc. Upshot was they lasted a whole 8 months and returned to South Africa - where they still live. Is the grass always greener? and if one takes the plunge is it always for the best? Perhaps an attitude of mind to make it work is what is ultimately needed.

[Monika]

[quote]As the forum is lacking in 'Living in France' topics We have decided to sell up and go back to England. Was selling and doing another house up here. Why? Money, family and boredom It wasn't 'forev...[/quote]

I did not quite get your posting, I know it's early in the morning?

Are you really selling up or are you just playing Devils Advocat to create a more interesting thread?

[Weedon]

So, you are going to  Sell Chez Shells By The Sea Shore

weedon

[SaligoBay]

Perhaps an attitude of mind to make it work is what is ultimately needed.

And maybe one way to get that is to try something different for a while?

Leaving France isn't a sign of weakness or anything else.  Everyone has their own life to live, and France isn't the be-all and end-all of life experiences.   I certainly don't feel superior to my friends who "stayed behind" - in fact, I'm sure they wonder why we stay here, with one low salary and a relatively high cost of living! 

[Deby]

The fact that some people leave is not about failure, for some things change and there is a need to move with the change.

I will not regret a minute of our time in France and I do not look at a return to Blighty as a backward step, just another part in the cycle of life.

You only regret what you never did!

Good luck to those who come and leave.

Deby

[SaligoBay]

You only regret what you never did!

Not sure about this...

I mean, if one morning you think "omg, I really regret drinking too much last night and taking all my clothes off", that's regretting things you DID do.

But I suppose you could change it to "omg, I really regret not stopping after the second bottle last night, and I really really regret not keeping my clothes on".

There's a subtle difference of some sort.   Is it one of those half-full, half-empty attitude things?

[ChezShells]

Hi

I just see it as moving house again, we moved house a few times in the UK and we only decided on moving here because we missed out on a house there, oh and we wanted a rest from working.

Looking forward to our next house.

 

Regarding Monicas post - Our primary aim was to do up, sell and buy another, do up...... etc etc.

If anyone wants a 'why it didnt work out' it could be because i'm 35 and not of retirement age.

[Tom]

An opportunity to start a mag called Leaving France?

[Teamedup]

I suppose there should already have been one. A huge percentage of people don't last more than a couple of years, and from what I can gather too many  of the poor souls go home broke, doubt that they could afford a mag about it.

[Monika]

[quote]Hi I just see it as moving house again, we moved house a few times in the UK and we only decided on moving here because we missed out on a house there, oh and we wanted a rest from working. Looking ...[/quote]

Oh, I understand now! I agree it's good to have lots of adventures in your life,  it's when you stagnate you get depressed and you are still so young. I wish you all the best. Shame we have already bought, your house looks very nice.

[Iceni]

I have lived in three continents and many countries, feel very very peed off and not very well. What is the point of moving somewhere else when I know that everywhere is the same - I am the same person and it is me who has to live my life and put up with me and my feelings at the moment. I have to get the drugs sorted and get back to my normal bouncy self - again another country will not help, only I can do this.

Everywhere is a new chalenge BUT you always take YOU where ever you go and unless you have sorted you out and come to terms with who you are it simply is going to be harder to make it work.

I also know of people who have left places and found that 'there is no going back' because people change and nothing stands still. I must admit I exclude TU/SB from this as they came over for a job and not a life - they have a static world to return to.

If you are looking for your dream, look deep inside first, if it is not there I doubt it will be anywhere.

[Teamedup]

Don't go frightening me there Iceni. I'm hoping I'm not moving back to a static world. It is already different on my frequent trips back and I like that. It'll make some aspects of it a bit of a new adventure though. Then it'll be up to me as to what I do.

 

[Jo53]

I feel so torn about this. On the one hand we love our house here; it's the house I'd like to live in for ever, the garden I want for ever, the countryside I'd like to look out on for ever (well, years and years anyway, I know nothing is 'for ever'). The freedom our children have to run around is another major plus. Leaving here would be an enormous wrench, particularly as we would never be able to live anywhere remotely as nice back home.

But on the down side is the struggle to make a living, the lack of work opportunities, the way we feel our children are missing out educationally compared with their friends and cousins in the UK, and the worry about re-integrating them there later. And the vaguely depressing feeling of living in the back of beyond (each to their own of course, but personally it bothers me).

I am not moaning; we are very lucky and coming here has been an adventure that I would not have missed. But this dilemma is always in my mind. Do others feel this way? Has anyone taken the plunge and torn themselves away from a life here, and was it the right decision? Or taken the plunge to stay despite reservations?

Jo

[SaligoBay]

But on the down side is the struggle to make a living, the lack of work opportunities, the way we feel our children are missing out educationally compared with their friends and cousins in the UK, and the worry about re-integrating them there later. And the vaguely depressing feeling of living in the back of beyond (each to their own of course, but personally it bothers me).

I am not moaning; we are very lucky and coming here has been an adventure that I would not have missed. But this dilemma is always in my mind. Do others feel this way?

Yes, 100%.

I appreciate that a certain amount of what I read in the (anti-)English press is based on truth, but I don't get the same story of misery from my friends who are still there.  They seem to be having just as good a time as I am!  

People don't say bonjour to them in the bakers, but to make up for it, they have this wonderful thing called Disposable Income!!    

 

[Dave&Olive]

hi both

            just want to say how sad we fell about you going back to the uk . since we met you , you have been our back bone our support our friends ,it is hard to find true friends in a strange country but you have been ours , we are so so sad that you are going you where only a phone call away when we lost squeek . just hope we can repay you someday .all our love dave ,olive and the 2 cats

            ps Lee see you deman need a lift with the bed , we can load the trailor up with that wood and drop it off at your place

              sh1t will miss you when you go you english barsteward

[ChezShells]

Blimey Dave

Think you had better stay off that homemade wine your neighbour gave you.

[Jon 1]

I am going through a bit of a downer myself at the moment.  I thought this was my dream but I am so bored.  I also have to admit that I don't really like the French that much.  I have tried but I just can't take to them.  The problem is that I am 'dreamless' at the moment.  I can't seem to muster up enthusiasm for anything.   So I am currently aimless, goal-less etc.  I am not a drinker so can't even hit the bottle.

[Patf]

We are thinking about returning to UK too .Eddie broke his leg very badly in Feb. and it's not healing very well. As we came here mainly for walking and skiing, as well as having a sort of smallholding, all these things are impossible or very difficult now. We may look for something smaller. Boredom is a problem - probably why I'm on this website so often, a good substitute for real socialising. Pat.

[Teamedup]

Thanks for posting this Chez Shells.

 

It didn't quite turn out as I imagined it would at all, but it has been a good post. Down to earth.

 

 

[ChezShells]

about time eh

looks like its bringing people out to tell all and not holding it back and covering it up, best way, especially for the site

[letrangere]

Even when it was primarily retirees, the British population in rural France has always been a pretty transient crowd, I think it comes with the territory.  For no matter how well prepared you are beforehand, something crops up after a few years making you think, surely it would be better at home.  That said, staying with friend recently, the conversation around long term residents' dinner tables was the increasingly rapid turnover of new arrivals, especially young families moving over permanently.  One wag spoke of the Great British Retreat.  Others felt it was a natural response to the mass move from Britain of 2001/2.  M  

[Alexis]

I feel so sorry for people who are bored.  I just don't have enought hours in the day to do all the things I want to.

Some days I don't do anything at all as I don't have the time

Are you bored because there is no one to talk too or because you have no interests that occupy you or because there is nothing to do as everything you liked doing in the UK is too far away here?

I have always lived in the sticks so was never a great going to the cinema or theatre person.  Would hate going around town looking in shops.  I can't say that I am a very talkative person either.  Certainly not chummy although I do have friends

My days seem to be packed with DIY, gardening, cooking, sewing, reading....I honestly haven't a moment.  I would like to do a lot more exercise, walking and cycling, but I don't have the time.

We have talked about living in the UK when Gilles retires but I'm pretty sure that we will come back here.

The world is our oyster.....adventures for everybody!

[letrangere]

Thinking about this more and in particular why it works for the retired permanent residents we know in rural France, some of whom have been there full time for over ten years.  They all speak reasonably good French, a couple are fluent, one being a former French teacher. They had all spent an awful lot of time in France before they moved.  Two had lived there previously but all the rest had owned holiday places for many years that they visited 3 or 4 times a year.  They're all pretty gregarious and make friends easily irrespective of nationality, background, etc.  I know one said that Amazon mail order really changed her life for the one thing she really missed about rural France was access to a wide range of English language books and videos.  Many also share a lot in common with Alexis and are what I would describe as pretty self contained.  They're also all very in to country pursuits, wild life, walking, etc.

But the most interesting part is they all still continue to travel and although home is most definitely France, they take regular trips, so perhaps this is the key if you can afford it.  Two couples now do something called house swap through an agency on the Internet and have swapped their place in France for homes all over the world including New Zealand, California and Rome.  Another, found a guy to rent their place for two months back in the winter whilst they went off back packing round SE Asia. 

So perhaps variety is the key to maintaining interest.

M