Never mind the French....it's FRANCE that's boring!

[vickybear]

What an excellent discussion headed 'The French are Rude and Boring' but on a slightly different note I have to say that I don't think the French are boring, I think that France is boring!

What on earth do you do with your time? I have been 'living' here for a while now and am bored rigid.

After chatting to your French neighbours, ignoring your English neighbours, waiting 9 months to go to every vide grenier in the area for 3 months, beaten your paperwork, watered your veg and kicked the cat, what else is left to do? It hardly stretches the brain does it??

 

[opas]

Sample the local wine and watch the World Cup!

Oh and perhaps you could put your white van to use and do a bit of work....on the black of course, just to keep les impots on their toes[Www]

[Cassis]

What did you do before you came here?  Can you no longer do whatever you did in wherever it was?

[vickybear]

No, I did what I did so I could come here to do what I'm doing without having to do what I did [:D]

I just didn't realise how much stimulation a brain needs. Relaxation, good food and wine and nothing to do most of the time is fine until your soul recovers from the beating it was taking in the UK, but I've started to look back at the UK with rose tinted spectacles.

Is this just a phase? I've been here a year.

[vickybear]

I'm also in my early 40's, female, no children and white-can-man is the other half. I took redundancy to come, have I moved too early? The place seems split between younger people with children or retirees. My age group is very thin on the ground i.e. not found any, including our lovely French neighbours.

[Philmco]

I always told my kids when they whinged that only boring people get bored.

[Cassis]

Are you in a village?  The middle of nowhere?  A town?  We are in a small village near a big-ish town and there is loads to do - clubs, societies, cinema, theatre, almost anything we wanted to do in the UK we can do here.  And more.  What are you missing?  What did you expect?  Do you both speak French?  More info needed!

[Ron Avery]

I am not bored that is why I am sitting  here making a  pointless post, still got a long way to beat 45 PP's in 3 weeks though[:P]

[vickybear]

[quote user="Philmco"]I always told my kids when they whinged that only boring people get bored.[/quote]

Hope it worked on them, however I believe the exact opposite. I believe boring people do not have the mental capacity to get bored.

We knew the area well before we moved. We had stressful careers working long hours and could think of nothing better than having nothing to do.......the other end of the scale we were living. I now believe your brain goes through a recovery period when having little to do is just what it needs but, having recovered, it starts to search for stimulation again.

We live in a hamlet, 7 houses, all wonderful French people. We speak some French, more now than a year ago thanks to the neighbours. We are a long way from the nearest village. I think maybe we're just too far out living here.

I read lots, internet lots, garden lots, eat and drink lots.....but what I need now is to interact lots and, I'm sorry to say, sometimes with people who speak my language. How tiring it is to concentrate as hard as we have to when talking to our French neighbours.

I'm re-reading my posts and realise that yes, I am falling into the 'boring' category so I'm signing off now. I've already been referred to as a Troll on another thread and, not wanting to upset people, am going back to my book and Immobilier / UK estate agent web pages.

Thank you to those of you who have commented.

[bixy]

I think hobbies are essential. My neighbour in the UK had no interests, no hobbies, he didn't read, he didn't even watch television. When he retired he was suddenly faced with the prospect of endless years of doing nothing. He panicked and moved to Spain, where he was faced with . . . endless years of doing nothing. Now he wants to come back to the UK, where he will be faced with. . . .

Try to develop your interests. Here are a few suggestions: painting [no matter how badly]; photography and computer manipulation; walking - there are so many beautiful areas of France to explore; or if you prefer cycling; shooting; birdwatching - endlessly fascinating throughout the year; other aspects of nature and wildlife - flowers, trees, beetles etc, etc.; beekeeping; take up a sport - there are cricket teams in various areas of France; writing - try an autobiography. That's a start - need any more ideas?

All the best.

Patrick

[WJT]

Oh don't give up on the forum yet [:(]. There does seem to be a problem at the moment with many new posters being called a troll. But don't give up yet.

There is another site called totalfrance.com that you also may want to give a try, perhaps a little more flexible,

I too am of similar age to you and do spend a lot of my time here alone. We don't live here permanently yet but I spend half of my time here at the moment and will be moving over permanently in a few years time. I can appreciate what you are saying because there are times I find it a little quiet and slow here and have experienced some of the frustrations you mentioned. However, I do love it here and find that every time I have to return to the UK, I really miss it and can't wait to return.

I hope you keep posting and perhaps you will meet people in your area of similar age.

[Catalpa]

I think, particularly if you've had a hectic, stressful business life in the UK, life here can eventually lack what I'd describe as a sense of achievement. It's not so much being bored (imo) it is making sure you've a purpose each morning to bounce you out of bed. Visiting the local market is not enough. [:D] I think it is necessary for some people (not all [:)]) to have aims and projects which deliver that sense of achievement. Self-esteem can be fed by those successes and achievements.

In the UK, there are all sorts of hobbies and interests that can turn into small, money-generating enterprises - something to succeed at, even in a minor way. Or there are many types of voluntary work available at many levels. It isn't quite so easy to find that in France for the various reasons regularly aired on these forums (language, bureaucracy, the hoops to be negotiated before starting even a small enterprise...) but identifying the lack and being a bit inventive in what you find to do should solve the "problem". 

[Catalpa]

[quote user="white-van-woman"]The place seems split between younger people with children or retirees. My age group is very thin on the ground i.e. not found any, including our lovely French neighbours.

[/quote]

You may also find that your literal age group - French women of similar age - is not your age group in terms of breadth and flexibility of attitude and experience, most especially in rural France.

[ChezShells]

We too was bored out of our minds and after 12 months we wanted to go back, tried going back once, lasted one day, went off to Italy in a motorhome, went back to the house in France, sold it to go back to the UK, bought another house in ............ France!!
2 years here now, still not much to do but you start to get used to it and
we now have another house to do up
I have the feeling it may come round again one day. hey ho

[Gardian]

I don't want to (excessively) rise to the bait, but this thread is meaningless, provocative and humourless.

What's the point?   Ban him someone, for those 3 things alone.

 

p.s. I will never be guilty of any of those things !!!!!!

  

[Just Katie]

[quote user="Ian Horn"]

I don't want to (excessively) rise to the bait, but this thread is meaningless, provocative and humourless.

What's the point?   Ban him someone, for those 3 things alone.

 

p.s. I will never be guilty of any of those things !!!!!!

  

[/quote]

Right, I am going to remember that and hold you to it buddy boy.

[Catalpa]

[quote user="Ian Horn"]

I don't want to (excessively) rise to the bait, but this thread is meaningless, provocative and humourless.

What's the point?   Ban him someone, for those 3 things alone.[/quote]

Er... why? What have I missed that has led you to you viewing this thread as bait?

[Just Katie]

[quote user="Ron Avery"]I am not bored that is why I am sitting  here making a  pointless post, still got a long way to beat 45 PP's in 3 weeks though[:P][/quote]

Whats new Ron??? All your posts are pointless.  A bit like mine really.[:D]

[Tony F Dordogne]

I think it was me that called frenchplace a troll - does that mean that wvm and frenchplace are one and the same, two threads, two ids?

Or did somebody else call wvm a troll?

[Will]

I totally disagree with the way that this user is being treated by some. The post may have been made provocatively, I don't know. But it is a fact that rural France offers little in the way of intellectual stimulation to anybody who has been used to a hectic life elsewhere. Boredom and lack of fulfilment are reasons that many people return. Living in the middle of nowhere is a totally different proposition from spending holidays there.

A lot of people like the quietness - good luck to them. But it drives others mad, and I can sympathise with that. Deciding that France is not for you and returning home is no reason for shame, you have tried it, and added it to your life experiences.

[idontbelieveitche]

Hear hear Will....what was provocative about the post. If you have an interest in say the Theatre or music or something like that rural France can be a backwater. You just have to make the decision on what you value most. This weekend the sun has been out and I've had a great time pottering about the garden and watching some mixed quality football. Wouldn't be anywhere else in the World. In mid july Billy Joel is on in Birmingham and I'll be cursing the fact I can't be there.Some people seem to have areal problem with accepting any percieved criticism of life here in France. Its just a country like anywhere else. Good points and bad.

[Cerise]

Quite Will - I've tried it, I'm still here and I'm bored.  I was always a get up and go person.  I lived in the countryside in UK so it's not a rural thing, it is more a state of mind.  Women of my age here, in the country, just don't have a life.  The English people of my own age I meet seem old before their time.  The things which I did in UK either don't exist, are too far away, or bore me rigid with the protocol and administration.  Yes - maybe it is me, but as an example in UK I use to go to Aquagym - as and when I felt like it to fit in with my schedule.  There were classes every Thursday evening and if you wanted to go you turned up, paid and did lesson.  Here, the only class is in the daytime - not good for me as we work - but even if I wanted to go I would have to a) pay for a set course of lessons   b)get a medical certificate (appointment at doctor's etc - what a waste of time if I thought I wasn't fit enough to do it I would of course consult doctor but we ain't talk Olympics here)  c.  wear a dreaded swimming hat and certain style of swimsuit (what the hell is that about?)  the legislation thing means that what ought to be a fun thing to do - if I feel like it - becomes complicated and a chore.  The classes are also actually (although it doesn't say so) designed for pensioners.  I can find virtually nothing that is in the evenings.

There is more to life (for me) than going out to lunch, drinking cheap wine and local fêtes.  Give up and go back I can hear you all saying - well we could but OH has job, we have B & B and we would have to sell large house (I am fully aware of the selling time of about 2 years here) and we would have to start again.  If you like, we have successfully established ourselves here and we never though it was going to be paradise.  We came for an adventure, not because we hated England.  There is good and bad everywhere but I had not bargained for the rigidity and mind numbing BORINGNESS of French procedures and the sheep like acceptance 'C'est comme ça'.  I may be strange but I don't actually want to be retired - the first couple of years were fine because we had all the renovating to do so kept very busy, the summer is not bad because I have constant visitors to keep me amused but outside that I miss intellectual stimulation and company.  Of course, I can (and do) go and do things by myself but my French friends consider it 'inappropriate' for a 50 year old woman to want to go canoeing on a bright evening instead of staying in and watching the television.    I don't spend my life being actively unhappy and my husband and I enjoy each other's company - but we have a living to earn and that is a deal more difficult than it was in UK.   This in its turn means that the things we took for granted such as going away for the weekend are not easy to achieve - furthermore , again unlike UK, can't see a way of legally earning a bit more.

France itself is not to blame, I still consider it beautiful and if I no longer lived here would still like it for my holidays - but I guess that is the thing, if we are all honest for most of us when we are on holiday we turn off the brain - when we go home we enjoy turning it back on again and speeding up a bit and that for me is what is missing here.

 

Maggi

[Just Katie]

Maggi, I think you have the spirit to cause quite a stir in the village.  Follow your free spirit.  Do everything (within reason of course) that you want.  The more inappropriate, the better.  Let them talk and have fun.

[Val_2]

Its a well versed phrase that if you can live here three years and at the end of that period still be happy and contented then you will stay longer,during this period if you have doubts,become bored etc,then it may be time to change location before becoming too stagnated. A lot of your previous life has a bearing on surviving in France and if you are a social animal,then being tucked away in the back of beyond is not for you,its like cutting off a limb! Joining clubs and social events isn't that easy either for the outsider, the locals are extremely set in their ways and eye newcomers with suspicion until they get to know you and if your language skills are'nt good,then you are in trouble. Until you have tried the french way of life you cannot know for sure whether you wish to live the rest of your days out here and if not,well,at least you have tried.

[Catalpa]

I think White Van Man and Woman were talking about more than being bored though. I don't get bored. But it is possible to miss - much to my amazement [:P] - using 25 years of sales and marketing skills to analyse, plan and achieve results. The sense of achievement is very important. That isn't related to being a social animal. It won't be solved by joining clubs and social events regardless of language skills. Well... unless the Club wants to go global with subsidiaries on 3 continents, merchandising ranges and advertising budgets![:D][:D] It also in NO way means I want to go back to a life of heading for the airport at 4am, having an horrendous day of usually confrontational meetings somewhere in Europe, catching the last flight back and arriving home after midnight too tired to go to sleep. No no no!

It's just a realisation that an enjoyable life has to be spiced up with mental challenges and manageable stress - and I have plans to put that in place for us post-reno. Too-early mental retirement doesn't work for everyone. And I think that's what WMV&W have identified. But unfortunately, they probably won't come back and tell us.