Kitty Posted September 30, 2006 Share Posted September 30, 2006 1 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. 2 - Half the people you know are below average. 3 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 4 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. 5 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 6 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 7 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain. 8 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 9 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 10 - When everything is coming your way, you're on the wrong side of the road. 11 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. 12 - Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. 13 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 14 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 15 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.16 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 17 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. 18 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. 19 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. 20 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted September 30, 2006 Share Posted September 30, 2006 From another thread discussing the pros and cons of moving with a young family and no prospect of a job to the back of beyond in the middle of nowhere in France, I merely pointed out that the grass is greener on the otherside because of an excess amount of (metaphoric) manure on it, to which someone else refined that to :The grass is greenest over the septic tank! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M Posted September 30, 2006 Share Posted September 30, 2006 Fine words butter no parsnips!M Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russethouse Posted September 30, 2006 Share Posted September 30, 2006 The harder you work the luckier you get ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chauffour Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 chi vive sperando.. muore cagando Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meg Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 When all else fails, read the directions. He who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke. Never hit a guy with glasses. Always use your fists. True friends always stab you in the front. Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at. It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one. Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a better defense. Forgive your enemies, but remember their names.Louise [:)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anton Redman Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Frank Muir and Dennis Norton normally advised that "People who live in Glass Houses should not throw orgies" Never kick a man when he is down he might get upA friend in need is not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 I've always liked: 'if there's light at the end of the tunnel, it's probably a train coming'. My 97 year old father sums up his d i y skills with the verse: 'If all else fails, use b***** great nails'! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassis Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 It never rains but it pours.Every cloud has a silver lining.Too many cooks spoil the broth.Many hands make light work.Great minds think alike.Fools never differ.Who dares wins.Only fools rush in where angels fear to tread.Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.Better the devil you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Head Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Oi 'Chris'...this town ain't big enough for two of us! Unless your surnames Head, then I guess 'Two Heads are better than one'?Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Smith Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 "If you've tried everything you can think of, and it still doesn't work, then read the instructions." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verviale Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 An imaculate house is the sign of a wasted life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TWINKLE Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 I don't want to go all intellectual on you guys - but Neiztche has always done it for me!"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gardian Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Nihil illegitimi carborundum est. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 I've always liked 'tidy desk, sick mind'.Chris Probert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LEO Posted October 3, 2006 Share Posted October 3, 2006 I can't remember the last time I forgot something. Leo ( St Sever 14) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 Only dull women do breakfast! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassis Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 Not true - lots of men do breakfast, too. Well, they deserve some sort of reward after 10 minutes work, don't they? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vickybear Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 I recognise this place.....I've been lost here before!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vickybear Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 [quote user="Cassis"]Not true - lots of men do breakfast, too. Well, they deserve some sort of reward after 10 minutes work, don't they? [/quote] Quite right too that men should do breakfast. Who are 'they' ?... The reward you get after YOUR 10 minutes of work, my Sausage, is to do me breakfast! [kiss] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tresco Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 [quote user="missyesbut"] The reward you get after YOUR 10 minutes of work, my Sausage, is to do me breakfast! [/quote]Or indeed, BE your breakfast. There are so many ways to experience Porcine Pleasures. [:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Animal Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 Is that what you call a full English Breakfast... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 Too much bread with it ... Us Ladies need to watch our hour glass figures! [kiss] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patf Posted October 6, 2006 Share Posted October 6, 2006 When in doubt, do nowt (or say nowt ) - one of my father's who was a very quiet man, maybe always in doubt. And one that my last boss had stuck on his wall - a problem shared is a problem 2 people have. You can tell what kind of a person he was. Pat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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