One of my neighbours is really really horrible

[Georgina]

I have lots of lovely neighbours and I speak French and we all get along fine, except for one (there is always). She is completely horrible. She starts fires when I have my washing out she complains about everything.

I have tried to be nice to her and turn the other cheek but she is just so incredibly horrid. 

I have a small dog who everyone loves BUT HER and today we walked past her house and my dog just called in the entrance to say hello to her (I normally have it attached but she needed to run). She was just saying hello.  I called her immediately when I saw the neighbour. She said she would call the police if it did it again.  WHAT???? WHY??? Can you imagine if she lived in England saying that haha.

I just said to her Madame my dog loves people, unlike you, my dog is kind, unlike you.

I could have understood if it was doing something else but it was literally two seconds during which I was calling her and all she wanted was a fuss like everyone does to her in the whole street and that is why she loves people.

How can anyone be so full of hate, Just talking to her I felt violated. This horrible woman makes my skin crawl.

Rant over, just had to tell someone

[idun]

As you don't get on with this person, why would you give your dog the freedom to do such a thing? I really do not understand why you would. And as neither of you get on, wouldn't you have expected that she would say something, maybe she felt her space was being violated ?....... wasn't it?

[Quillan]

Not everyone likes cats or dogs or both even. Your neighbour might be allergic for all you know. Your dog has trespassed in to he garden, being near your dog may make her ill. I am not suggesting this is true but the thing is you don't know.

Regardless of the fact you have a history with this woman you should not have let your dog go in her garden it really is that simple and I speak as a dog owner myself.

Something similar happened to an acquaintance of mine, his dog died because it got in another persons garden too many times so they put a lump of poisoned meat in the garden. The Gendarmes were called, the person was prosecuted, not for killing the dog but for leaving the poison around that could endanger another human. Whilst I thought this somewhat outrageous in that nothing was done about killing the dog (it should not have been n the garden apparently) it is France and it's not the same as the UK.

As too the woman, well ignore her, it's her loss not yours and it seems you have lots of friends anyway so don't worry about it. Do however keep your dog on a lead when passing her house. Don't 'bite' back when she complains, somebody will realise that it's her who has the problem and not you.

[AnOther]

I understand you wanting to get it off your chest but I'm afraid I have to side with the previous respondents on this.

Knowing this persons nature it's important not to provoke her and it does sound as if you could have very easily avoided this latest incident with your dog.

I have a situation with a similar crabby old cow who owns the rough land which borders me on two sides. She has some sort of fixation that we - this was going on long long before we bought the property and in fact owned and sold the land our house is built on in 1976 - and the other single neighbour who borders it, are trying to steal pieces of it from her. This is utterly preposterous of course, the borders have been legally established and fenced for decades but that hasn't deterred her from turning up from time to time and ranting about it. She is well know in the locality for being mad.

The way we deal with her is by total blanking, we neither look at her, listen to her, or acknowledge her presence in any way.

Fortunately she actually lives somewhere else so is not a constantly

present PITA. Also she doesn't drive and her OH who does looks as

though he's not long for this world so

when he croaks she won't be able to get here !

It's not often I wish to hasten somebody's demise but if she is as crabby and nutty with him as she is with just about everyone else death would probably be a blessed relief for the poor man !

[Patf]

Georgina - I had a similar experience to you  - all the french folk in the village were very friendly and didn't mind us going on lanes round their fields, etc, except for one grumpy old man who said "NO. And keep your dogs off too."

Anyway, I avoided him for years, though I did greet him in the street, then one day he wasn't around any more. He had gone into a nursing home as he has Altzheimers, he was difficult with his family too according to his wife.

There was another woman who had a nasty dog, but most other people were complaining about her too.

ANO I see you've retired at last - what's it like?

[cooperlola]

Whilst I do agree you probably need to be ultra careful with this old bag, I do know how you feel, Georgina.

Back in the UK we had a neighbour (she actually lived 3 houses away but we were in a terrace of 3 and she was in the next big house.)  She was as nice as pie to begin with but was very fed up because we and our immediate neighbours had paddocks for our horses on land which didn't adjoin ours but was across a field behind our houses.  Eventually, my lovely neighbour on the other side (who was a travelller and he and his daughter had their 'vans on the field next door) got ill and had to sell up and - oh evil day - sold his land to this woman.  She then begged and begged the farmer who owned the field behind to sell her a strip of land so that she could move her ponies from the stables in her garden to the land she had bought.  After a year of resistance, she finally gave in and sold this "blackmail strip" to the lady in question.

After that day, all the friendliness disappeared.  She had a pretty nasty dog and used her as an excuse to stop us walking across the strip to the fiield (as we had done for 15 years) to our own paddocks.  This meant we had to walk our own dogs up a busy, 60mph rural A road to take them for walks, when they had been used to just nipping out of the gate to freedom since they had been puppies.  Long story short, eventually she bought the whole field and erected an 8' close boarded wooden fence around all three of the houses in our terrace, blocking our lovely views of the countryside which we'd enjoyed for a quarter of a century by then. 

The solution?  We moved.  But, as you no doubt gather, it still rankles with me that she spoilt our rural idyl forever.

It is dreadful how miserable neighbours can make you, especially in small communities. You have all my sympathy.  I used to have to be really careful around this vengeful woman too and I resented it so much but knew I just had to bite my tongue and be squeaky clean myself even though in my head I was thinking; "Why the h*ll should I be the one to make all the concessions when it's you who's being so unreasonable?"

[Chancer]

They say there is always someone worse off than yourself and not wanting to show any oneupmanship but all my neighbours are like you describe, in fact pretty much all the village and surrounding villages, its like supporting intense pain, eventually it becomes normal and you no longer notice it or think that life could be any different.

There are a few exceptions but they keep themselves well hidden, a nail standing proud will just get hammered down etc, and hence I have made some friends although never in the way I would describe my friends in the UK, some of them have even warned me never to talk of our friendship, their family life, their home etc to others.

On the positive side I have the best neighbours anyone could ask for in the UK, the same ones for close to 30 years now, they were instrumental in helping me win my planning battle at a public enquiry against the planning authority which means that I now have the house rented and have a legal residence, a pied à terre for myself in the outbuildings, after a few less than desirable tenants I now have fantastic ones who are also fantastic neighbours to both myself, their landlord and the others in the close.

I have never let the mean-ness of people change my way of treating and respecting others, although I do keep my head down here, I firmly believe in what goes around comes around, I am reaping the rewards in the UK and the meanies will one day get theirs.

[PaulT]

Georgina

She sounds one very unhappy person so console yourself that whilst she dwells in her misery your happiness (except when you are near her) is your revenge.

Paul

[Chancer]

Are dogs supposed to be kept on a lead at all times?

[Quillan]

[quote user="Chancer"]Are dogs supposed to be kept on a lead at all times?[/quote]

Dangerous Category One dogs certainly and also muzzled, I also believe Category Two dogs also have to be on a lead but no requirement to be muzzled. If I am wrong then I hope somebody will correct me.

With ordinary dogs there is no requirement generally but some cities, towns and villages may have local by-laws. Our local town does and all dog must be on a lead inside the town limits. How much notice people take is a different matter. Mine are always on leads in town but it's a pain in the anus when other owners let their dogs run free, illegally, and their dog(s) come over to ours and of course neither the town police or Gendarmes do nothing.

[bettyboop]

my husband doesnt like dogs,so he would not have liked a dog off its lead coming up to him.

Regardless of how friendly your dog is, you cant expect everyone to like him/her. We certainly would not like someones dog coming onto our land

[Rabbie]

I think that this is not an isolated incident related to the dog. It seems that Georgina has been having problems with this neighbour for a long period for which she has my sympathy. There are times in life when we need to have a quiet rant to get things off our chest and that's what G made clear she was doing.

[Georgina]

No this was just in the gateway that my dog went. There is no law here to keep dogs on leads, indeed there are many stray dogs around. I was actually standing there and called my dog immediately as I said..

And thanks for the replies.  I get it, some people are just plain mean, including some posters lol  So mean people get what is coming to them for sure. Misery. How can it be anything else.

What I don't get though is why this woman had it in for me before she ever spoke to me, I could write you a list of things that she has complained about to me.  She even complained that ivy was growing on her side of the wall from my side. Doesn't matter that it was a plain old concrete wall AGH

Thanks for the replies, just shows you it is not only the French that can be mean eh?  (;

I will just pass her house smiling next time........ (:

[Georgina]

[quote user="Rabbie"]I think that this is not an isolated incident related to the dog. It seems that Georgina has been having problems with this neighbour for a long period for which she has my sympathy. There are times in life when we need to have a quiet rant to get things off our chest and that's what G made clear she was doing.[/quote]

Aw thanks babe, you are sweetie

[NormanH]

There are things to be said on both sides. As Rabbie wisely said Georgina was letting off steam in a Forum where she can express her feelings fully in her own language. That must be at least one of our functions, to lend a sympathetic ear to people at the end of their tether, given the difficulty of really getting things off our chest in another language.

On the other hand there are people like me who panic at the approach of a dog. In my case it almost amounts to a phobia, and I certainly become very aggressive-defensive if one comes near me.

[Georgina]

[quote user="NormanH"]There are things to be said on both sides. As Rabbie wisely said Georgina was letting off steam in a Forum where she can express her feelings fully in her own language. That must be at least one of our functions, to lend a sympathetic ear to people at the end of their tether, given the difficulty of really getting things off our chest in another language.

On the other hand there are people like me who panic at the approach of a dog. In my case it almost amounts to a phobia, and I certainly become very aggressive-defensive if one comes near me.

[/quote]

Hey Normie, you should expose yourself to animals slowly and gradually hahaha

No really, she is not afraid, she did not even step back, it's me she hates

[idun]

Wow, so if we disagree with you we are mean. This judgemental stance, makes it feel like no one has a chance and I cannot but feel some sympathy for your neighbour. 

It is OK I'll not reply to you again, you can think what you want of me, I care not, but sadly some well meaning people could actually be upset and I do hope that they are not.

 

And NH,I too am afraid of dogs in spite of us having had one.

[Pommier]

Idun, I agree with you that I didn't think anyone on here was being mean, but just saying why the neighbour might have reacted as she did. I thought that dogs were supposed to be on a lead in a public place and it's got to be the safest thing to do when on a road or pavement.

[Russethouse]

 In my book dogs are like children, I like some of them but not all and I think that's pretty much human nature.

I don't think its mean to not like dogs, but as that is the situation probably better to steer clear....

We have nearly always found that we have had good neighbours one side and indifferent or worse the other.....thats life :-)

[Val_2]

This may go beyond just being a miserable old woman neighbour. There may be history to her behaviour in that perhaps the OP purchased the property that maybe she wanted, her family may have wanted or it may have once been in the family. Quite often we take for granted this sort of behaviour but usually there is an underlying cause and not actually really anything to do with our OP. Who knows, perhaps her husband ran off with someone who once lived there and it has left her bitter. Maybe some of the other neighbours can shed light on why she is so miserable?

[Quillan]

I have been around dogs for most of my life and in adult life owned a few over the years. Somebody said about keeping dogs on a lead when walking along the street and yes you should. As RH says they are like children, perhaps that's why we like them, but they don't exactly have a lot of common sense like a human.

There is one road I let my dogs off the lead, it's a dead end for cars but continues for walkers. It's in our local village, my dogs are trained to come and sit by me when they see or hear a car. All the people in the village (about 25 of them) know me, my dogs and how they are trained. The road joins a main road running between two towns with buses, lorries, cars etc. I always put my dogs on their leads some way before we get to the road.

The thing I would fear the most is my dog's running out in to the road and somebody swerving to avoid them and having an serious accident especially a motorcyclist. They are also trained to sit when they get to the road to cross it and cross when told but I still wouldn't let them do this off the lead.

So whilst there is no legal objection to allowing dogs off leads there are moral reasons why you shouldn't and why I personally don't.

I have come across loads of people that don' like dogs because they are either allergic to them or actually fear them. At the end of the day a dog is a domesticated wolf and if you have ever seen a dog attack then you will understand this only too well. So I understand why people may not like dogs, I respect that and will either go way round them or in the opposite direction. Dog owners should understand and respect people who don't like dogs and likewise people who don' like dogs should respect dogs and their owners, a mutual respect if you like. Sadly there are 'bad lots' in both camps.

As I have said many times there is no such thing as a bad dog, just a bad owner although I am not suggesting at all that the OP is a bad owner.

[Georgina]

Do you know Idun, whenever I have posted on here (rarely), you always post in a negative manner and totally unhelpful.

. I should introduce you to my neighbour you would get on well.

[Val_2]

I have the opposite problem in that people just want to stroke my dog and I have to stop them every time especially the children which the dog does not like anyway but adults, he adores. You also have to educate people to put their hands over a dog's head as that can lead to them snapping or worse as they feel threatened. He is actually the closest breed of dog to a wolf with wolf DNA in his makeup and can never be let off a lead anyway. I had a very bad experience with an alsation as a child and even now, will avoid that breed like the plague and certain other large dogs.It could also be why the neighbour reacted like she did,having an ingrained fear of canines.

[Georgina]

[quote user="Quillan"]

I have been around dogs for most of my life and in adult life owned a few over the years. Somebody said about keeping dogs on a lead when walking along the street and yes you should. As RH says they are like children, perhaps that's why we like them, but they don't exactly have a lot of common sense like a human.

There is one road I let my dogs off the lead, it's a dead end for cars but continues for walkers. It's in our local village, my dogs are trained to come and sit by me when they see or hear a car. All the people in the village (about 25 of them) know me, my dogs and how they are trained. The road joins a main road running between two towns with buses, lorries, cars etc. I always put my dogs on their leads some way before we get to the road.

The thing I would fear the most is my dog's running out in to the road and somebody swerving to avoid them and having an serious accident especially a motorcyclist. They are also trained to sit when they get to the road to cross it and cross when told but I still wouldn't let them do this off the lead.

So whilst there is no legal objection to allowing dogs off leads there are moral reasons why you shouldn't and why I personally don't.

I have come across loads of people that don' like dogs because they are either allergic to them or actually fear them. At the end of the day a dog is a domesticated wolf and if you have ever seen a dog attack then you will understand this only too well. So I understand why people may not like dogs, I respect that and will either go way round them or in the opposite direction. Dog owners should understand and respect people who don't like dogs and likewise people who don' like dogs should respect dogs and their owners, a mutual respect if you like. Sadly there are 'bad lots' in both camps.

As I have said many times there is no such thing as a bad dog, just a bad owner although I am not suggesting at all that the OP is a bad owner.

[/quote]

My street and surrounding areas are really calm of traffic and ALL the neighbours know me so well, they always stop and say hello, even in their cars.  My dog is trained but because most of the neighbours always always want to fuss her because she is so beautiful, she has got used to the attention and that is why she approached this woman just to say Hello. If the other neighbours weren't so nice she would not be so friendly.

I find your response extreme to say the least,  I really don't know what you are inferring Quillan but you appear to be yabbering on about irresponsible dog owners,, when in fact the neighbour is just a mean hateful person and that is the point of the post.  She has no fear of dogs at all and I have just said that so why are you going on about it? Bit bizarre for a moderator. Appears you have an axe to grind with someone else.

[Georgina]

No Val, she hates everyone LOL  The neighbours told me.