do i or don't i ???

[Raygraham]

Ive been a part of the forum for nearly a year now, and i'm still asking the same question.. Ive had a break from the dreams for approx 5 mths, and one stupid property programme has sent me back here..

Ive learnt the language, well, to a point that i like to think i'm proficient, and via the internet and my head have purchased a property i like in every single region, I still love the Limousin, and if i was going to settle anywhere it would be there. BUT, i'm worried about my kids. Ive got 5 of them ranging in age from 2 - 10, if it was just me and the misses i'd go tomorow, but it's not and i'm not afraid to admit it all scares the bl***y life out of me.

We'd have enough money to buy something nice and be self sufficient until we settle so that's not an issue, it's the whole packing up, buying, getting the kids in the "right" schools and if they arn't happy after 3/4 mths what do you do?  Some of you say you just did it and got on with it, and others say"if your not 100% sure don't do it, Please help a seriously confused friend..

[chicfille]

Unfortunately no one can tell you what to do, nor whether your children will adapt well or not. Chances are if you've got 5 kids, some will like it and some won't.

Many of us on here have "issues" with the French education system, but just as many others say how well their children are getting on with it. If you've learnt the language, read all the forums and done all your homework and you're still considering it then the only way to find out if everyone will like it is to do it.

Just don't burn your bridges with home - move over for a trial 6/12 months or whatever, then re-evaluate.

[Evianers]

No-one can actually tell you - you have to make up your own minds, but we have lived all over the world in three of the five continents. Obviously we had to move our son sometimes at critical stages of his schooling. Basically this did him no harm. He gained by the experience because he simply had to settle [as we did] and get on with it. However, in later life, he is having grave difficulty determining where he should be, UK, SA or Oz. He keeps fluctuating amongst the three and cannot settle. He is, of course, much older than your children, but if one brings them up to be bi-lingual, they have a really good start in life. That has been our experience anyway. Good luck.

[Ron Avery]

Ray

Nobody on this Forum can make this decision for you and I suspect that if you were even 60% sure that it was a good idea you would not be posting this here.

I did it because after 15 years of holidays here, I loved the country, because I could stop work and I have not looked back.  BUT, I don't have any dependents and I don't have to earn a living.  Unless you are very sure of your employment potential with 10% unemployment in France, I would think long and hard about a move to France particularly if you would find yourself very much worse off if it goes pear shaped here.

 

[Cat]

Hi Ray

Have you asked your kids if they would like to live in France?

If you, and they, really want to live in France, it's better to disrupt their schooling sooner whilst they are still relatively young.

You could, of course, wait until they're old enough to be self sufficient, but then all your children (and later, your grandchildren) would probably be living in the UK, whilst you're here in France.  Would you be happy with that?

If it really all scares the life out of you, maybe you could take a step halfway.  Why not take a long rental somewhere in the Limousin during the school summer holidays, try it out, see how it goes.  I'm not saying that a summer holiday is anything like actually living somewhere, it's not... just try being here now in the freezing cold

A big change is seldom easy, but in the end, no matter how much advice you get on this forum, it's you who will have to take the decision (sorry for spouting such obvious platitudes).

Do lots of research, and then do some more!  Don't rely on those stupid foreign property shows, they are no more believable than the tales of Mr H C Anderson.

Whatever you decide, good luck with it.  Personally I'd say go for it, but then that's just me, and I'm not you

[Val_2]

I know how you feel and I only had two kids back then,but when we came here there were no internet forums to ask questions on and very few english speaking people so we just had to get on with it and make our own way which in some ways was a blessing in disguise because it made us more determined and stronger in ourselves. Everyone has the jitters about such a momentous decision to move lock,stock and barrell but we actually kept our UK home for five years just in case and then finally sold it BEFORE the property boom which is us all over. What I would say is,if you will be needing to earn a living after a period of settling in and make no mistake thinking your savings will last for years because they won't not with kids and the cost of the living here,make sure you are near a town or have a skill that can earn your living. This unfortunately has been the downfall of many people relocating here and finding they cannot get a job because they have no skills,relevent qualifications and/or do not speak and write french well enough. As the others have said,renting for a period of time and not living in holiday mode is a safe and sensible idea and then you will not have lost everything on a whim.

[Raygraham]

Thanks for the advise, theres just one small problem, we need to sell our place here to do the relocation as all of our funds are tied up in it. I am fortunate in that i do have many trades, i'm a qualified plasterer/builder, i also hold tickets for heavy plant machinery, ie, 360 machine op/diggers etc etc.. although i donot know if these trades are called for much in the limousin region, but then i'm not afraid to travel to other regions for work. We have also explored the possibility of running a gite buisness but then who hasn't, it all really depends on the type of property we would go for. our main aim is for a different and maybe more interesting way of life for us and the kids, basically were bored stupid with british ways and britain as a whole, but i'm not entirely sure that were looking for something in france that isn't really there!!

[Teamedup]

Two questions, why do you want to move to France,  and why don't you rent. Rent for a year and see how it goes.

I am in England at the moment and now, as during the last couple of years, I hear tosh about France every single day I am here.There is some weird french hype thing going on that escapes me completely and the fire is usually fed by these programs which are as useful as a chocolate fireguard is.

And re your childrens education, well do a search for Richardbk on here about education, I find his comments juste.

 

 

 

[letrangere]

I think you really need to give a lot more thought and do an awful lot more research as to how you going to support a wife and 5 children year round in the Limousin, or anywhere else in France, before you cross the Channel, to rent or otherwise.  Being bored with Britain and British ways is not a good reason to move and I think you make a very good point when you say that you may not even find the answer to your current discontent in France.   M

[ChezShells]

Hi

We have been here for nearly a year, 2 of us - 34 & 40 - no kids here (1 in UK)

Its been really stressfull, few family problems, a few headaches whilst renovating and sometimes i would have gone straight back to england, now, I dont think I want to live in england anymore, we are selling our house but that was part of our plan (3 plans!!!), we're moving on to our next project most probably here in france (never say never), but with young kids, I dont know if I could have done it, my other half says if you have young kids you will integrate better mixing with other parents and it will help, a holiday home would be better first, dont recommend renting for months, but having kids means needing an income as well

I wasnt 100%, but got offered redundancy so did it and dont regret it

If it doesnt work out move back, its more of a big deal in your head than it really is

We are in France, in the countryside and its great, go for it, hmm but you have kids

Regards

Lee

[SaligoBay]

<<basically were bored stupid with british ways and britain as a whole,>>

Can you be more specific?

Think about exactly what annoys you about Britain.   Sometimes it's just small things, such as a recent post about a UK school being locked.   A locked school in France is perfectly normal, and if you tried to tell a French person it was a sign of a society going to the dogs, they'd just think you were mad!

It may sound silly, but these are the things that life is made up of.  The British press makes a big deal of these "faits divers", the French press tend not to.  So think about whether your feelings about Britain really are YOUR feelings, and not just what the papers say.

"French ways" nowadays includes easy and widespread access to drugs (everywhere).

So, spill the beans about Britain's problems! 

 

 

 

 

 

[Raygraham]

Thanks to everyone for your valued input. I think i just need to think on it some more before we make any final acts..

[chirpy]

personally i believe the biggest problem will be finding a job to support 5 kids.

on the positive side the taxation system helps with large families.

you cannot afford to have 2 homes therefore why not search for a job first leaving family in u.k. and rent a b. and b. to enable you to evaluate  out the pros and cons.

in that way not much is lost financeally as it would be a more expensive option to sell in u.k. and find you have to return.

the cost ofremovals is dear and the commission on selling french property is high and they do not sell as fast as those in the u.k.

meanwhile u.k.prices are increasing faster than france and you may find your self in a negative equity trap.

also if you need a mortgage they will loan you less than in the u.k.

 

a difficult decission.good luck.

 

 

[Renate]

I understand your total panic about moving lock-stock-and-barrel. Although stomach churning at times it is also exciting. Your children are at a good age to move. Any older and they will experience more difficulties in learning the language and making friends. The 2 year old will be fluent in 6 month and will most likely go to nursery. The oldest of 10 will find that the language is more difficult to learn but should aslo cope very well. you will need to keep them reading and writing in english to ensure that they can spell English well.

My advice is also to live near a town so that as the children get older they have more opportunity to meet people and have a decent choice of schools. Don't live in isolation as this is a huge turn off for teenagers. Whatever you do the choice is obviously down to you. At best you will have a great life and your kids will be enriched by the experience. At worst you go back to the UK and start again. You only live once. All the best.

Renate

[Raygraham]

I will try to be as specific as i possibly can as to why i am "cheesed off" with Britain and British ways. So here goes.. 1st it's the parents WE can't get far enough away from them if we tried, they are controlling to say the least and walk into OUR  home as if it's there's, 2nd, and please forgive me for saying this, But i can't stand the b****y british and there snobbery, I hate our system and the way it works or doesn't as the case may be at the moment, 3rd We want a great big house with a great big garden and a great big life for less, It has absolutly nothing what so ever to do with the tabloids, so for all you budding psychologists/psychoanalysts (and my wife is one) out there, PLEASE give it up... bye the way i only gave up smoking a week ago and am feeling a little noxious.

[SaligoBay]

Well, you've obviously got an itch, so you'd better scratch it! 

If you've got the money for a big house and big garden and big life, just do it.   If you don't have the money, you could solve the first problem by changing your locks. 

[letrangere]

But i can't stand the b****y british and there snobbery

Oh dear, if you think they're bad in England, you should see what some of them are like in France.  Present company excluded, of course!  M

 

[GRT17]

The saying "etre bien dans sa peau" springs to mind!

However, let us not forget that "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence " (La Manche / Channel or anywhere else for that matter)

 

 

Gill

[PaulC<P><IMG src="http:forums.livingfrance.comimagesline.gif"><BR>Paul, Debbie and Josh, <BR>London & Dept 24<BR><a target=_blank href="http:www.les-brandes.net" target=_blank>http:www.les-brandes.net<A><BR><P>]

We have some friends who have just taken a 12 month rental just outside of Nice to put a toe in the water as it were, I think this Has to be the way to go - you may even be able to rent your existing house out as in income !

you wouldn't buy a car without test driving it and this is a far bigger decision, if your not sure a few months trying it out with the option to come back again has to be a good move !

If you want to talk to the guys that have gone to Nice, drop me a line and I'll forward your address, they can tell you about renting etc.

Paul

[Turnip]

The advice about renting in France, in order to see if you would like the reality of living away from the UK, is sound advice.

We are searching for long term rental property in order that the wife and I can road test our desire to retire to France. We seek summers where the sun, as opposed to clouds/rain, appears for the majority of days.

These forums are full of advice if you only spend time searching, and the forumites are keen to help since many have had to make that initial decision to move.

 

Good luck

[Patf]

Not all of us have moved lock stock & barrel. We have kept our house in UK and it's rented out. We bought a very cheap house here. I should think we will return eventually. We know a few families who sold their large house in UK, bought a smaller one there and used the extra to either buy here or to rent and live on. What does your wife want to do? Pat.

[letrangere]

We have kept our house in UK and it's rented out

That makes a lot of sense, Pat, for a whole host of reasons, ie sound investment, continued income, still on UK property ladder, somewhere to return to if needs be.  If people can afford to do this, it's a very sensible thing to do.  M