Where did I put .........

[Furry Knickers]

[quote]What is it you men keep measuring? Christine[/quote]

Maybe they are measuring their pens?

[Alcazar]

<<She phoned him at home - and her first words of the conversation were "where are you">>

Ha! My wife once got lost, and even had a mapbook with her.

She phoned me, desribed what she could see, and asked, "where am I ?"

I kid you not

Alcazar

[Miggimeggi]

[quote user="RayB"]We have started to tell each other why we are going a certain place in case we forget or get distracted by the time we get there. It's a case of "Ray, why am I in the kitchen?" (g)

[/quote]

Why didn't we think of that?  When my husband gets back from the garage, looking for his specs I will suggest that we start doing that.  If I remember...........................

Anne

[Christine Animal]

Hello Anne, I know I've seen you somewhere before, but can't remember where...

There is a little story in France which goes something like :

 

"First it starts with forgetting names

Then it goes on to forgetting normal words

It gets bad when after going to the toilet you forget to zip up your flies

But when you've really had it is when you forget to open them." 

 

(only the men of course, we never forget anything).   [8-|]

 

[Hewitts]

[quote user="Alcazar"]

<<She phoned him at home - and her first words of the conversation were "where are you">>

Ha! My wife once got lost, and even had a mapbook with her.

She phoned me, desribed what she could see, and asked, "where am I ?"

I kid you not

Alcazar

 

[:$] Oh I can relate to that , so him indoors thought he would buy one of those GPS jizzmos for me so that I couldn't lost.  Of course it is in his car and has been since purchase and he now spends entire journeys shouting at it  that it is going the wrong way.  So now I am still lost because if you don't know where you are what is the use of a street map! and the GPS thingo is in his car where it has become his new boys toy entertaining him endless as he trys to trick it every step of the way by insisting on going the way he would have gone anyway!!! 

[/quote]

[Miggimeggi]

[quote user="Christine Animal"]

Hello Anne, I know I've seen you somewhere before, but can't remember where...

[/quote]

Great Dane rescue.  Been vetted and have been told  that I am approved but it doesn't belong on this thread.  Will let you know how it goes.

Anne

[Renaud]

In this season of goodwill I will try and forget where I keep my grudges.

[Joh]

It's not just the "seniors" who get this.....

 

I have it all the time... where on earth is that jumper I bought last winter..... IN THE OTHER HOUSE!

Wherever I want something - I've taken it to France if I'm in the UK or left it in the UK if I'm in France!

Worst of all - we usually spend the Christmas Hols in France - hence all my thick jumpers and thermals are there... where are we this year??? UK of course. What have I not got??? need I go on?

Hubby is collecting a very nice duplicate set of all tools etc.. so that we don't keep taking them backwards and forwards....

Mother on the other hand has had to resort to labelling all her clothes as she has a house in UK her own in France and her own set of rooms in my French house!!!!! Oh and she's getting "senior" moments too so all in all very confusing!

Jo

 

[Hoddy]

I've found this thread so reassuring. I often suggest to my daughter that she has borrowed something of mine only to find that I left it in France. I'm pleased it's not just an age thing either; yesterday my four year old grand daughter asked if she could play with the green picnic set. She stamped her foot at my reply, "Sorry sweetie, it's in France."

Hoddy

[Suninfrance]

Joh

My OH collected a nice set of duplicate tools for France, along with my area, saucepans, cutlery, glasses, etc.  However, now we have moved to France we have double of everything and nowhere to put them.  ... and yes, OH still can't find half is b****y tools, even though he's got TWO lots of them.

Only yesterday, we were putting the treadmill together in the barn and he asked me where the bolts were.  Considering I was at work when he took the thing apart to bring it over to France, how was I to know.  Eventually found them in a plastic bag in the desk, along with other bits.  Put the bolts in but needed a large allan key to tighten them up - off OH goes to the workshop, contents of toolboxes strewn all over the place and the comment "I'm sure I had loads of allan keys somewhere".  He tried just about all of them when I said "will this help".  "Where did you get that" he cried.  "From the bag of bits the bolts came in" [:^)].  Off he went doing his "mutley" impersonation.

Still the treadmill is up now - shame we have no electricity in the barn [^o)]

[Christine Animal]

FAMILY

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come
up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful," as she knocked on her wooden table for good measure. " She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
_______________________________________________

"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
___________________________________________

WHAT A CHOICE

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say, "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex.." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
____________________________________________

OLD FRIENDS

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me . I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
_____________________________________________

[chirpy]

well i was going to reply to one item and as the letters kept coming i had forgot what i was going to respond to.!!!!!!!!!!!!!

does that make sense

are you all following if not i will type slower.!!!!!!!!!!!!

people who loose pencils should tie them o a piece of string and attach them to their neck unless you can buy themsimilar to the biro,s on a lead.

another trick is to get someone else to do the job.

when i worked in a laboratory one of the senior chemists who was lazy and never had much to do would come and see what you were doing then take over the job and you quietly stepped away.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think he had memory loss as he used to come to work in slippers!!!!!!!!!!!!!

back to pencils always start with put one behind each ear and one in your mouth and with a bit of luck you will always have one when you need one.

if you have a beard one of my assistants  did  tuck one in !it looks like a bone through the nose at a distance.good god another possibility looms up

yes you guesed it

 

if you can find one of your3 drills get the other half to drill a 10m.m. hole through your nose.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. if you have a long nose then 2 holes are possible so you can have a coloured one as well.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my big problem is i go to do something and when getting the tools find something i forgot i had and start looking for something to do with the other tool.!!

 

this is a serious case of being side-tracked because i only came on line to check for messages 30 minutes ago and here i still am playing on the keyboard as my typing skills are very slow !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.p.s. my wife said all my skills are slow or non-existant so i will close down and return to what i was doing before

 

 

if   

 

 

i

 

 

can

 

 

re

 

 

 

member

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sunshine coming out ,stopped raining i,ll take the dog for a walk \1\11111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

excuse me any body want their dog walked i just realised i don't have a dog .!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

ma.ma.open the cage as ARTUR ENGLISH WOULD SAY.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

now that's another story.

next time .bye for now you redundant lot of readers .

 

now before you send me any crap mail that was a joke

i should  know as i was made redundant 3 times aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

 

 

that,s another story.[co][sn][:)][:D][:P][;)][6]

[Anton Redman]

[quote user="Suninfrance"]

OK Dick - I get the picture.  We also get the Screwfix catalogue.  We have the SDS (which was temporarily mislaid - "where did I put it, have you seen it") and a multitude of other "boys toys" and the latest on the wish list is a morticer?

OH can spend hours in M Bricolage dribbling over the power tools and chunky garden machinery but when it comes to curtain material and furniture and the new saucepans I desperately need, the foot starts tapping and sneaky glances at the watch.

Why is that ?

 

[/quote]

You learn to leave the car is less than five seconds, no last minute fumbles to check if you have money passport or are wearing knickers, and say pick me up from here in 73 minutes and do not be late 

[Christine Animal]

Test your eyes ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST Count every " F" in the following text: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS... (SEE BELOW) HOW MANY ? ...................... 3? WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke. READ IT AGAIN ! Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down. The reasoning behind is further down. The brain cannot process "OF". Incredible or what? Go back and look again!! Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.  Three is normal, four is quite rare. Send this to your friends.  It will drive them crazy!  And keep them occupied for several minutes..!

[Tresco]

I looked three times, and still didn't see them.

That's a Cracker, Christine.

[Dick Smith]

Cool. I got 4, but you are right, I missed the 'ofs'. Weird as well. And odd.

[Tresco]

If you missed the 'ofs', how did you get 4, are there more than 6??????

[Dick Smith]

Can't count.

[PossumGirl]

Christine suggested I put this here, so I will, of course, comply.  A friend sent it to me today, and I too sadly recognized myself!

PG

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated

Attention Deficit Disorder.

 

This is how it manifests:

> > >

> > >I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose

> > >in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

> > >

> > >As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the

> > >porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

> > >

> > >I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

> > >

> > >I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail

> > >in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

> > >

> > >So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the

> > >garbage

> > >first.

> > >

> > >But then I think, since I'm going to be near the

> > >mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the

> > >bills first.

> > >

> > >I take my check book off the table, and see that

> > >there is only 1 check left.

> > >

> > >

> > >My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I

> > >go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been

> > >drinking.

> > >

> > >I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need

> > >to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

> > >

> > >The Coke is getting warm and I decide to put it in

> > >the refrigerator to keep it cold.

> > >

> > >As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase

> > >of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.

> > >

> > >I put the Coke on the counter and discover my

> > >reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

> > >

> > >I decide I better put them back on

> > >my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

> > >

> > >I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a

> > >container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left

> > >it

> > >on the kitchen table.

> > >

> > >I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,

> > >I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on

> > >the kitchen table, so I

> > >decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll

> > >water the flowers.

> > >

> > >I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit

> > >of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table,

> > >get some towels and

> > >wipe up the spill.

> > >

> > >Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to

> > >do.

> > >

> > >At the end of the day: - the car isn't washed -

> > >the bills aren't paid -

> > >there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter - the flowers

> > >don't have enough water, - there is still only 1 check in my check

> > >book, - I can't find the remote - I can't find my glasses, - and I

> > >don't remember what I did with the car keys.

> > >

> > >Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got

> > >done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn

> > >day, and I'm really

> > >tired.

> > >

> > >I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try

> > >to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

> > >

> > >Do me a favor. Forward this message to everyone

> > >you know, because I don't remember who the hell I've sent it

> > >to.

> > >

> > >Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

> > >

> > >GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS

> > >OPTIONAL.

> > >LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC.

>

>

[Pip]

Thanks for that PG ! [:D]  As I was reading I realised you knew me so well  !  I make lists but they get longer and longer because none ever seem to get crossed off  [:-))]  lol  !!

[Pads]

when we had the new kitchen built, I had a large cupboard built under the stairs to house all his tools, shed keys, matches ,lightbulbs and all those boys toys things, I spend my entire time going behind him picking up things he has left lying around and putting them back in the cupboard, but still every day its "Wheres my..............." "In the cupboard sweetheart"................  5Mins later "I cant see it" so i get up look and lo and behold its in the cupboard. so not only is my O H forgetful but blind too. Now what was I doing before I sat down to look at this forum.................    

[PossumGirl]

20 years in our last house and Mr. Possum still couldn't find where anything went in the kitchen!

PG

[Christine Animal]

Yes, but it's funny how when they're on their own, they manage.

 

[ali-cat]

[quote user="Christine Animal"]

Yes, but it's funny how when they're on their own, they manage.

[/quote]

A truer word was never spoke!!

[Poppy]

Just wonder whether they do manage or just get by. Last time I was away I was very impressed when OH said he was having chicken casserole for dinner. It turned out to be a can at the back of the cupboard which was about 2O years old. He was up all night being poorly