Guest's 6 year old is terrified of our colllie

[Lori]

I really don't know what I can do.  We have a sweet 3 year old collie, the most docile, loving animal you could ever find.  However, our current guests have two daughters, 6 and 8.  The 6 year old appears to be absolutely terrified (screaming fits) of dogs.  We have a 3500 m2 property and our dog has his own small fenced off portion for times when we have the portail open or workers, etc. are here.  We normally let him go free in early mornings and late nights (this is explained to ALL our guests).  Our guests arrived Saturday last and when I gave them their tour of the property, I explained (as had been in our paperwork for renting the property) that we have a lovely collie who adores everyone.  They told me their younger daughter is a bit nervous around dogs, but they never told me she was screamming terrified.  That evening around 11 pm, I went out to bring him in to the house to eat his dinner and sleep for the night.  He always goes over to greet the guests on the lower terrace (they were outside), but he just passes by them and comes with me upstairs.  The girl saw him coming and went screaming in the house.  Literally screaming as if an ax murderer was attacking.  It was horrible.  I have never seen anything like it.

I was in shock.  I said he is very very gentil, he will never hurt you.  I will take him in the house, and I did.  I felt terrible, but I had NO IDEA this child was so terrified of dogs.  I don't really know what to do.  I have been keeping him in his small fenced area.  I find this cruel, but I have no idea when they will be outside.  This evening they were leaving to go into the village for dinner (I guess) and the child would not even leave the rental without full explanation that the dog was no where in reach.  I went out to let them know that I didn't realize she was this afraid of dogs and not to worry, I would keep him either in his small fenced area or in the house.  What else can I do???  The mother said that she expected by the time they leave (two weeks) she will be best friends with him.  I told her I sure hope so.  I really don't think so.

I find this terribly uncomfortable.  We always explain to prospective renters that we have a dog on the property.  We love our dog and all of our previous renters have loved him too.  This is only our second time having children in the rental.  The first time was exceptional.  This time is not.

Any ideas what I can do to help the next two weeks become a bit more tolerable.  This is our home and I am not keen to make our dog suffer in the heat of a small fenced cage.  Yet, on the same side, I hate to have anyone unhappy here.

What can I do?  No hubby here to ask...

[Eslier]

I really do sympathise. It is your home but it is also your business and, as you have already identified, you have an obligation to your guests. It sounds as though your guests are being very good about it so I wouldn't worry too much. The best thing would be to keep your collie in the fenced area most of the time, but make a point of taking him/her out on a lead to meet the children. Perhaps if you are there to restrain your dog to start with the child will gradually become more confident and the parents are bound to be appreciative of your efforts. Many parents want their children to become used to dogs even if they don't have one themselves so you may well be doing them a favour. In the worst case scenario, you will have a difficult two week period which will not seriously affect your dog. Try not to worry, it will all be ok in the end one way or another.

[Moorejw]

We have experienced exactly the same problem. Our guests had a 4 year old who in theory loves all animals and in practice squealed and wanted to be picked up every time the dog appeared. Our collie was very confused as he loves children. I was also worried that if the child screamed too much the dog might get upset and bite him (something he has never done before). BUT the parents encouraged the child to stroke the dog and by the end of two weeks he had his arms around the dog's neck and kissed him goodbye.

So, hang in there and ask the parents to encourage the child to meet the dog, perhaps they can set an example by making a fuss of him (the dog that is).

[nimportequoi]

We have 2 border collies and a Jack Russell and 2 cats, they follow me everywhere (except when there is a BBQ!) but if we have guests in who are afraid of/allergic to dogs, I try and make sure that the dogs stay inside. They have plenty of exercise, they have 2 good walks a day outside of the grounds, but guests have to take priority. I had one child who hated dogs at the beginning of last week, by the end of the week she loved them, so it can have a positive effect, but ONLY with the agreement of the parents. Really, if people book a cottage in the country, they have to expect some sort of contact with animals. I would say the majority of guests (many of whom have left pets at home) absolutely love the fact that there are dogs and cats here. 

[Val_2]

As a nine year old child I was attacked by a neighbour's alsation and bitten,resulting in the dog being destroyed afterwards. Since that time and thats nearly 40 years ago I have always been extremely nervous of dogs whatever size or shape or temperment so I understand fully the child's fear. I would go screaming if my gran's gentle mongrel came near and refuse to get down off the chair until it was tied up. What I did find though, is that dog owners when told, would gently introduce me to their pets and teach me how not to stare them in the eyes or pat over their heads from the front and now I have a little bit more confidence especially here in France where there are more dogs than we were used to before. Perhaps you personally should talk with the child and "introduce" your collie to her or even go on a just a little walk but always with the animal on the lead so she knows it won't be coming at her. With me it has always been the teeth of the animal that I find the most frightening and perhaps its the same with this child.

[Deby]

I have always been very uneasy around dogs, would often cross the road to avoid them. Now I have a dog and she is really lovely, cross collie/alsation.  Again, I always check with guests as to how confident they are with a dog around and if they wish me to keep her indoors I will.  I have a friend who has a daughter & son and absolutely terrified - the screaming is quite disconcerting.  I feel really sorry for the little girl and our dog, as the dog has completely no idea what it might of done.  It is also very distressing for the child.  We try to keep the dog out of the way as it is not good for either of them, so I know what you mean.  I don't know what I would do if it were guests, but guests take priority as it is their holiday.  I would expect the guests to be reasonable though, if they are going out for the day, they could mention it to you and then you could let your dog out to roam free.

Hope things get better.

Deby

[Lori]

Thanks to all for the good advice.  I have been keeping him in his small fenced area.  Couldn't keep him in the house during the night as it was too hot in here (39 degrees outside yesterday).  Guests went out around 7:45 pm, so I let him out for an hour and then put him back in his fenced area as I wasn't sure when they would come back.  I let him out again around 3 am and put him back around 7:30 am, figuring they wouldn't possibly be out during those hours.  I have to admit, I didn't like being out at those hours either....

I think I will try the suggestion of introducing the child to our dog from the other side of his small fenced area.  She will know he cannot get to her there.  Then, if that goes okay, maybe later on I will put his leash on him to let her see him closer, maybe even touch him.  That is if all this is okay with the parents.

All of you are right that this is their holiday and I will do whatever I need to to make sure they are happy.  However, I must say that this has really made me question whether we accept children here.  We have one rental - the lower portion of our home.  My husband works overseas and is rarely here.  The rental keeps me occupied.  The small bit of income is not counted on for living - it is just a little extra.  So, if it never rents, it wouldn't be the end of the world.  Not sure I could go through this again.  The screaming is really hard to handle.

Anyway, thanks again for the advice.  I'll let you all know how the day goes...

[Maddie]

Lori

I have totally sympathy with you.  I have two dogs, both adore people and have an excellent track record with kids from toddlers upwards.  The only problem is that they are very boisterous, one more so that the other.  They are both obedience trained (yeah, right!) until they see a new person or small child they can go and give a good licking to.  Also one is mad keen on water so will JUMP OVER the pool fence if she sees the pool cover is off.  Guests know there are two dogs (their pictures are on my website so it's not a surprise to them) and that they are exercised early in the morning and evening.  If guests and their children want to make friends with them and ask to do so then I allow controlled meetings but never unsupervised and always on a lead. 

It's been too hot to leave them outside here so I keep them indoors during the day in the cool. 

I've had 4 parties with kids so far and fortunately only one screaming fit (porbalby because the child found she had the same name as the dog!).  Providing you make every effort to keep the dog and children apart I don't think you can reasonably be expected do much more.  After all, presumably these people know they are coming to your home environment, what do they expect, a museum?  If they had no idea there was a dog/dogs then that's a different matter.

[Tresco]

Screaming like an axe murderer is coming  - sounds like something approaching a phobia, in which case i wouldn't even think about trying to take the child near the dog. It will upset both the collie and the child too much; 

Depending on how much effort you/her parents want to put in, if you have some photos of the collie, you could show the other child, and try to get the terrified one intersted in that way, moving on to her standing at the window and watching the dog play etc, but if it really is an extreme phobia it would take longer than 2 weeks for a even a professional to cure it.

What an awful situation, but I don't think you should feel guilty.

[kb]

Im sorry folks, I dont agree with anybodies replies. If you have an animal surely you dont compromise their wellbeing, you have got them as a pet "for life" and their welfare becomes before "money" Dogs, cats etc are not good in heat.  Consider them first, there was a reason why you got them, you cant put them on the backburner to satisfy the needs of others

[nimportequoi]

If you open up your home to paying guests, then you have a duty to respect their feelings. After all, it isn't as if they are there all the time, and anyway, a lot of them don't mind dogs. If you do restrict their freedom little, it doesn't mean you mistreat them. When I go to work, they are in the house all day, but they get a good walk before and after. In the summer, when we have people in the gites, they would much rather be in the cool indoors than outdoors. You have to respect people's feelings in this matter if they are paying to stay in your home. My dogs are happy anyway, even if they do get confined to barracks occasionally! They still get fed and walked (normally further than normal) and as long as they are with me, they are happy!

[kb]

Sorry, should not have replied to this subject, this site is too aggresive for me.  try www.internet-french property.com or total france, not prepared to get into slangy matches.

[kb]

sorry meamt  www.french-property.com

no aggresiveness

[Ejc]

If I had a child that was dog phobic - I wouldn't booka gite that advertised they had a dog. I think the parents need to take prime responsibility - and you are obviously going your best here.

Good Luck

[Russethouse]

kb - I really cannot see anything agresive about any of the replies, the answers mainly seem to be about achieving a happy compromise in a difficult situation. Whats agressive about that ?

[Catalpa]

It's the silly season, Gay.

... SVP!... Please... Pink Fluff... unprovoked agression...

[Lori]

Well, I didn't try to get the child to meet the dog (so far).  They pretty much stay to themselves and I have done the same.  The father did come up to use my computer to check his email (we don't have a computer in our rental), but we did not discuss anything as I left him his privacy in our office.  I don't get a very welcoming feeling from these people.  They say they are happy and I can only hope that is true.

The dog stays in his small yard.  I bring him in at night as I'm sure he feels totally neglected.  I cannot play with him unless they are gone.  And, to top it all off, he got one of those hard grass pieces stuck in his back leg and it abcessed (can't spell that).  Had to take him to the vet today.    Apparently, this is quite common around here.  They tried to get it out, but with all the swelling couldn't find it with the instrument they use when a dog is awake.  Gave him a shot, some pill antibiotics and back he goes on Friday to be put to sleep while they cut it out ! 

Good grief.... 

[kwp5000]

It's a tricky one and I shouldn't comment as I am not a gite owner and therefore do not need to balance the client satisfaction/ dog welfare equation. But, as a dog owner and mother of three, I wouldn't let my kids scream. Especially not in someone else's home....

 

I have seen kids screaming like banshees at very minor things and am permenently amazed that their parents let this happen. It doesn't take that much to distract/  reassure/ divert the fear or whatever else is causing it. Personally, i think its for the parents to deal with; if it wasn't your dog it would probably be something else.

 

It always annoys me when people / places say "children not welcome" but to be honest , so many of them these days are so awful I can see why!

 

Good luck!

[JohnM]

Sorry, haven't had time to read any of the other answers, so may be repeating what somebody else has said.

The answer is simple. Don't cook it, no amount of cheese sauce will disguise what it really is. However, I blame the parents, they should bring their children up to eat ALL veg. However, it does beg the question, What the heck did they do to make the poor child scared of it? (A pumpkin that has been made into a face is understandable, but a collie.....?) 

 

[Tourangelle]

It sounds to me like Lori is doing the right thing. Perhaps if the people seem a little distant it is because they are unhappy with their child's reaction to the dog and the tension this has created. Presumably they did not realise their daughter was so afraid of dogs.

[Lori]

Tourangelle - I think you could be exactly right.  I don't know, but I am working with that theory.

I will still try to introduce TouTou to the child when the moment is  right.  As it is, he will be going in to surgery this Friday to remove a grass spur that has entered his body...  Really hard to believe.

As it is, I have decided not to accept children in the future.  I realize many people will say I am nuts, but this has been a very unsettling event in our lives.  One I would not like to live over.  If we never rent again (because we don't accept children), that is fine.  We are not doing this for the money. 

This is our home and I don't like feeling as if I live in a hotel and cannot do what I want.  Yes, accepting paying guests means making them happy.  Therefore, perhaps we should simply shut down.  I am okay with that.

 

[Russethouse]

Lori, I am sorry your dog is unwell, but this childs problem is not of your making so don't feel bad about it.

If you make it clear that you have dogs on your booking info, you can do no more and its a shame to let one child spoil it for you and other families.

[Lori]

Thank you Russethouse.  Perhaps I will change my mind, but at this point, I doubt it.  I have children of my own and respect the fact that we are all different.  However, as I mentioned, this is our home.  We have worked (and continue to) long and hard to make it a comfortable, happy place.

I agree that this particular problem is, in part, due to the parent's accepting of the "fits." Having said that, I don't want to subject myself (or my family - including the dog) to the possibility of future problems.  As has been said here, paying guests means making them happy.  This is our first problem in that area, but it has been such a large problem (and for a two week booking - and they don't leave the house often) that the only way I can see to avoid future similar problems is to stop renting, or, at the least, to stop renting to families with children.  My husband has said stop altogether.  He doesn't think it is worth the hard work and lifestyle changes.  He is not normally here, but was here for the first day of this child's arrival (first screaming fit).

Anyway, I suppose I will play it by ear, but the websites have been changed, so we'll see what happens.  I'm looking forward to a peaceful coming year, with a free running, very special collie at my side.

 

[Stevie S]

I know how you feel. This year we had a big compound built outside our back door so that we and our lovely dog may sit in safety from rampaging kids.

Recently had a couple and their very well behaved dog to stay in the gite - not a scream to be heard.

[Georgina]

As a mother, I would expect that if the child behaves this way, then the parents pretty much have the problem and probably have had the problem many times before meeting your dog, resulting in embarrassing screaming moments. I would expect, if my child behaved this way, to have to deal with it myself. Otherwise, they will not be able to go anywhere really.

Georgina