MEN ONLY - Flexible Cystoscopy

[MrCanary]

This is a fun health examination for both men and women, but gets particularly interesting if you have male equipment...

Essentially, a tube with a camera is pushed through the urethra, through the area of the prostate and around lots of corners, eventually arriving in the bladder. The feelings vary from 'strange' to 'painful' and for up to 24 hours after the examination, the pain when passing water is excruciating.

The procedure is to investigate potential problems in the bladder, the prostate and the tubes en route. It gets particularly interesting when entering the operating room to be greeted by a female nurse who is a friend of your wife.

Not sure whether I prefer having a prostate or boobs, but when you get older, most things have to be examined in whatever way is possible......  

 

[Chris Head]

OH ME GAWD! Are you kidding Prasawotsit? That's just awful! You've got to be having a laugh? I don't believe you....so how does the tube go down without and erection in place? And what sort of bloke would agree to that? Conclusion....you either fell prey to a pervy doctor or it's a fantasy! Aagghhh!

 

[Dick Smith]

Not kidding. A bloke I work with had it done (or something like it). Dunno what it did for him, but it brought tears to our eyes...

[Chris Head]

No, no, no, no, no...please delete this thread immediately or I'll be seriously misbehaving and invoking my Lifetime Ban clause....[+o(]

[MrCanary]

I am sorry Chris, but I felt obliged to warn my fellow males about this procedure in exactly the same way the women have discussed their health dilemmas.

After the cystoscopy, I cried when I took my first leak and did likewise for the next dozen.

Incidentally, it was a female GP who referred me to the hospital for the procedure....

 

[Dick Smith]

Just clench your buttocks and think about using an unguarded table saw. It would be less painful...

[TWINKLE]

You big babies! 

It's not just for men only - my 7 year old daughter had to have a cystoscopy - she cried too bless her.  She had suffered with quite a few urine infections and it's standard procedure to make sure everything is working properly and that no damage has been done by the infections. 

I was furious that the two female nurses (probably mums themselves) prepared the long steel 'wand' in front of her and didn't offer her the oxygen which I was assured was on hand to help her relax.  There was another little girl in the hospital room with us having the same examination and her mum told me that the nurses botched up 3 attempts to insert the 'wand' and she was bleeding. 

I regret deeply not going to the childrens hospital in Toulouse where we normally take my daughter when she needs medical attention.  I admire the medical profession but I was very angry with those particular nurses that day - and I let them know it.

[MrCanary]

Hi Twinkle, if you check my original post, you will see I mentioned it is for both male and female. As we both have bladders, it would be, wouldn't it?

What happened to your little daughter sounds dreadful and I genuinely sympathise.

As for we men being big babies, I can assure you the procedure is somewhat more difficult due to the design of our equipment. Think about it. The most sensitive part of a female 'down there', is your equivalent to the organ that the rod has to be pushed through in men. In advance of that (as you probably know) a gel is squirted in to lubricate the way and this gel has a cleansing and anaesthetising effect. En route to its destination, the rod passes through the centre of the prostate - an unusual sensation to say the least. Believe me, when I referred to crying after the event, I was referring to totally involuntary tears that were triggered each time I passed water. A feeling that one man has accurately described as, like passing razor blades.

Whilst I confess to introducing this subject as a response to the mammogram thread, I do not apologise for doing so. It is something all people should be aware of as being a strong possibility of something they may have to endure from their fifties onwards. It is particularly relevant to men as, due to the increasingly common problems in later years caused by prostates, it is a procedure many will have.

I read the mammogram post to my wife who said it was so accurate and genuinely painful. I also sympathise with you ladies for that. There appears to be no future in getting old...

I wonder Twinkle if you are like my sister who asked me some time in the past, "why is it only men who seem to suffer with prostate problems?"  

[opas]

[quote user="TWINKLE"]

You big babies! 

It's not just for men only - my 7 year old daughter had to have a cystoscopy - she cried too bless her.  She had suffered with quite a few urine infections and it's standard procedure to make sure everything is working properly and that no damage has been done by the infections. 

[/quote]

 

Is that the procedure where the bladder is filled up through the tube to near bursting point?  If so my youngest also had that done aged 3.

The point to this original post was what? to once again point out that if a man has a runny nose he has double pneumonia whereas we women mearly have colds............

 That said ,you were so brave and hope you are in good health

[MrCanary]

Thanks opas, yes quite well thanks.

The point of the thread has actually been proved by the subsequent posts.

[PeterG]

"The point to this original post was what? to once again point out that if a man has a runny nose he has double pneumonia whereas we women mearly have colds............"

You women obviously know nothing about MANFLU.............

[ali-cat]

I think there may be a case of crossed wires going on here.  I think (& I could be wrong) that Twinkle said "it's not just for men only..." because of the title of the thread, not the proceedure.  Personnally can think of nothing worse for a man to have to endure - so I'm not quite sure where Opas is coming from, although I agree that Manflu is a strange & weird disease!!

To all men - you have my deepest sympathy if you are faced with this! [blink]

[Pierre ZFP]

Manflu is a very serious condition and not to be taken lightly thank you very much [;-)] It takes years of practice to be able to moan and complain for hours on end.

At least we can't get Birdflu .......

 

[MrCanary]

ali-cat....  thank you!

I gave this thread its title just to match that of the ladies thread which, I admit, was the catalyst for this subject.

I have the greatest respect for all the ailments faced by women. For the fact they have to carry and give birth to our children and for the subsequent problems their bodies suffer as a result of that. But none of us are able to choose what sex we are born and, usually, what we arrive with, is what we are stuck with - warts and all!

The last time I checked the mammogram thread, there had not been one disrepectful post from a male and the only humorous ones on these health issues have been on this thread where men are laughing at themselves.

Vive la difference!  

[Coco]

OK, you want a humourous anecdote from a female on the subject........ Chris Head asked how the tube could be passed without an erection - in my experience it can't.  As an 18 year old student nurse I was being taught how to fit a catheter - easy peasey on the women, for the obvious reasons you have already described.  Every time I got anywhere near touching any of the men's bits they got very large and, well, you know [:$]  One particular mum, who's 16 year old son had to have a catheter and bag fitted several times a day refused to let me do it in the end because she said that although I fitted everthing securely in place at the time, with surgical tape, within minutes of me leaving the room the tape was no longer a "tight fit", if you get my drift...[Www]  Strangely enough, the Ward Sister (55+) didn't seem to have the same problem - and I don't think it was down to her nursing experience.[blink]

Wonder if I'd still have that effect 30 years on? - judging by Sister's experience, probably not [:(]

Always reminds me of the Joanne Whalley scene with Michael Gambon in the Singing Detective - the one where she has to rub the cream on him.

[Llwyncelyn]

Once I had to have simultaneous operations one with a growth on my foot following lots of injuries playing cricket and back-end if you follow my meaning.  The front was relatively ok the back could have been very serious.  In the end it was benign so far so good.

My then employers wanted me back in harness quickly so we had BUPA and I went into our local private hospital run by the Nuns.  Now it came to the time when I had to have a bath and when water with copious amounts of salt was directed towards my rear end but at the same time my left foot had to be placed on the side of the bath and thus I was somewhat well positioned and open to all forms of attack.

An aged Nun came into the room and directed operations and I will not repeat what she said but I was hugely embarassed.  And I mean hugely!

regards

[TWINKLE]

Sorry! 

I just saw the title MEN ONLY and thought........oh well never mind.[:)]  I'm sure it's excruciatingly painful for men too - I don't really think you're all big babies.

 

I think you're big womens blouses[:-))]

[MrCanary]

"The point of the thread has actually been proved by the subsequent posts..."

Thanks Twinkle

[Suninfrance]

It is fair to say that although women have to suffer indignities whether it be a mammo, smear, childbirth - men still suffer in different ways.  I can empathise with Prasutagus although never having had that particular situation myself, but I guess it must have been really painful.  My OH had to go for an echographie on his bits and he tells me that it is not comfortable having your "gesticulars" squashed into position for them to take the x-ray - so he knows how I feel about a mammo.  Despite all that, it's good to laugh at yourself after the event.

ManFLU - now that is a totally different subject -  very strange phenomenon which doesn't take years of practice BTW, my 14 yr old godson has it down to a fine art - I think his dad must have taught him.  The other strange thing about ManFlu is the lack of willingness to take any medicine's to help you through the day despite having shedloads in the medicine cabinet.  LOL

[Le Petomane]

Cameras up one's willy are nothing. I had a thing called a T.U.R.P. - instead of a camera the tube has a sort of apple-corer on the end, which removes the middle of your prostate. Pain? You young people don't know what pain is.

[Chancer]

Yes but unless things have changed "young people" (males to be precise) are more likely to have to suffer the "open umbrella action" in an S.T.D. clinic!

[AnOther]

Hey, read and weep guys, currently I have this procedure done every 3 months and my next appointment is @ 10:00 on March 30th so mark your calendars and let your imaginations run wild...[blink]

I've been undergoing this for the last 2 1/2 years but I have to say that my surgeon is excellent and has a very good technique. On one occasion , as he was fiddling about down there, I asked him if he'd ever had it done himself to which he replied  "no, but I expect I shall need it at some time so I teach my students well !"

Like so many other things though, the thoughts and fears often exceed the actual experience and thankfully this is my situation.

I'm fortunate also in that I don't suffer from the "peeing razor blades" phenomenon and actually experience suffer very little post procedure discomfort.

There is no room for embarassment in these matters however, in the hospital where I had my first actual operation, it seemed that about 50% of the nurses who "attended" me actually lived in my village and some of the others I knew too. I told one guy in the pub what his wife had been up to.................[6] 

As for erections, believe me, under the circumstances this is totally out of the question and never arises [:D] [:D] [:D]

[MrCanary]

Glad you said the last bit Ernie, because having talked about my experiences at the start of the thread, I left out that fact...

I was scared stiff, but not in other ways! Not a chance - even with an attractive nurse assisting!

[AnOther]

[quote user="Coco"]

OK, you want a humourous anecdote from a female on the subject........ Chris Head asked how the tube could be passed without an erection - in my experience it can't.  As an 18 year old student nurse I was being taught how to fit a catheter - easy peasey on the women, for the obvious reasons you have already described.  Every time I got anywhere near touching any of the men's bits they got very large and, well, you know [:$]  One particular mum, who's 16 year old son had to have a catheter and bag fitted several times a day refused to let me do it in the end because she said that although I fitted everthing securely in place at the time, with surgical tape, within minutes of me leaving the room the tape was no longer a "tight fit", if you get my drift...[Www]  Strangely enough, the Ward Sister (55+) didn't seem to have the same problem - and I don't think it was down to her nursing experience.[blink]

Wonder if I'd still have that effect 30 years on? - judging by Sister's experience, probably not [:(]

Always reminds me of the Joanne Whalley scene with Michael Gambon in the Singing Detective - the one where she has to rub the cream on him.

[/quote]I don't know where your experience was Coco but I can tell you that not only would it be nigh on impossible to inset a catheter into an upstanding gentlemen and I don't believe that any surgeon or properly trained nurse would attempt it.

It is not uncommon however, for one to "rise to the occasion" as it were, post insertion, but please please please take my word for it that this is something you really really do want to discourage at all cost's [:'(]

[Chris Head]

I'm in tears.....