Missy Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 [quote user="Cathy"]...Miss Missy, of should I say Mlle Missy - you are now the French mistress to the Academy. I suspect that you will be bsuy, especially with Colonel Head......[/quote] Oooo that's OK. He looks the kind of a man (phwoah weeh! these biceps!) who can cope with my daily lessons and all the homework I will be setting out [:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierre ZFP Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 [quote user="Cathy"]As for our tennis/ski instructor, wanting to take on extra responsibilites. I think that you are getting a little above your ski station. Go back to your lobs.[/quote]OK I'll make sure the Gels (I think it sould be 'Gels' not 'Gals') brush up their forehands and can deliver a good service not to mention scoring(new balls please [:$] ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 19, 2007 Author Share Posted December 19, 2007 The staff room is brimming full of folk, ready for when the gals arrive. There is still room for more applications. No Latin teacher yet...The story so far:The Haberdashers' and Seamstresses' Academy for GirlsEducation for the GentryMotto: Homus et placens uxor (A home and a pleasing wife) Headmistress Lady Catherine “Reticence” Macintosh of Macintosh Vice Headmistress Mrs Frenchie School Secretary Miss Lisleoise Matron Mother Tresco Cook Mrs Jay Estates Bursar Miss Sweet Hed of Inglish Langwage Miss Wooly Hockey coach Miss Panda of Charente Head of Biology Vacant – ONLY ladies may apply Head of Chemistry Professor Bugbear Head of Pizza Making Signor Chauffour Bunk in dormitory [Www] Commander Leo Sports Mrs Geordie Tennis coach and ski instructor(NOT charges d’affaires) “Pierre” Head of Art Mr Gus Renard, with attention to abstract expressionism Head of Music Miss Twinkle, who also conducts the Academy Massed Choir Head of Cadet Force Colonel Head [:$] French Mistress [;-)] Miss Missy (or Mlle Missy) In absentia Mr Dick Smith Application awaited EWH provided she is not a member of parliament Applications turned down Head of Metalwork Mrs Meg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meg Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 [quote user="Cathy"] Applications turned down Head of Metalwork Mrs Meg[/quote]ME!!! Turned down.........well first time for everything i suppose. [Www]Hope the girls put spiders in your hair and itching powder in your frilly undies. [:P] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 19, 2007 Author Share Posted December 19, 2007 Mrs Meg,I have nothing against you personally, despite the threats. AND my undies are NOT frilly. Evans don't sell frilly pants in size 30. It's just that my gals are NOT going to be bashing metal when they are older (unless they have to bash their husbands' heads together, which are made of wood, in any case).I would consider an application for you as a different role. Head of Latin is available although you would need a passing knowledge of that most lyrical and precise language. You would need to know your bellum and your agricus and from your puella (or your bella and agrici from your puellae for the purists). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 AN ANNOUNCEMENT - PRESIDENT SARKOZY IS COMING TO SEE THE ACADEMY THIS EVENING.He wants to see how les anglais (et les ecossais et les gallois) run an edicational establishment. He has heard through the grapevine that, despite having no pupils, we are a Star Academy.So polish those boots, dust down the rackets and let's show him how we do it...Lady C Macintosh of MacintoshPS Commander Leo must not be in his bunk when the President arrives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Lady C MacIntosh of MacIntosh ... I would like to apologise for my very rude Inglish Langwage used in one of my correspondance to you. I refer to the lewd interjection used to describe Colonel Head's biceps (ooolala! qu'ils sont beaux!) I know that you yourself Lady C do admire them too [6]I blame [:$] the Hed of Inglish Langwage Miss Wooly for that... also you mustn't think that I do have a secret penchant for a fortifying nightcap... but I am a little confused [8-)]with the gender of Miss Wooly the Hed of Inglish Langwage.... Do you think he/she is secretly related to the Mrs Hinge and Bracket of Hinge and Bracket Hall down the lane..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TWINKLE Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Missy!I can hear you giggling at your desk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 [quote user="TWINKLE"]Missy!I can hear you giggling at your desk![/quote]Giggling Moi[8-)] ?.... [;-)]How can I giggle.. I am getting my corset on and my jarretière and my make-up all for the benefit of the vist of his Esteemed Mahjestie Monsieur Sarkozy [:D] One has to look one's best as there maybe a position at the Elysée to fill in .... that Carla is not certainly here for long if I have my way....[:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 AN ANNOUNCEMENT - PRESIDENT SARKOZY IS COMING TO SEE THE ACADEMY THIS EVENINGNow Miss Missy, I know that the President no longer has a wife but don't you think that you're taking it a bit far wearing a corset and throwing yourself at him? You are the Academy's French mistress but Mr.S doesn't need a mistress (yet)... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geordie girl Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Lady Catherine, as i am staff i feel i may be familiar with you. I have had to send three of my gals to your study to be chastised as they were not suitably attired for our hockey match this fine morning.Please proceed as you wish.......................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Chère Lady C,My title at your esteemed academy for girls is French Mistress, that is the function for which you employme and that is what I seek to fulfil to the best of my abilities. Tools of my trade are, beside some ooolala, venez donc me voir ce soir, un certain je ne sais quoi, gallons of 'J'adore' Christian Dior perfume, etc... to wear a corset. Mr Sarkozy, your distinguished visitor doesn't know yet that he needs a Mistress until Moi! sera introduit à lui.Avec mes profondes et respectueuses salutations, Veuillez agréer Lady C, l'expression de mes sentiments distingués en votre envers. Je vous souhaite par cette même lettre un très joyeux Noël et de bonnes fêtes de fin d'année.Mademoiselle Missy. French Mistress.[:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tresco Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 [quote user="Cathy"]AN ANNOUNCEMENT - PRESIDENT SARKOZY IS COMING TO SEE THE ACADEMY THIS EVENING.[/quote]Will all staff over 5ft 3" please report to Matron for compulsory leg shortening and sycophancy boosting implants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geordie girl Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 What time does the leg shortening happen as at the moment i am hanging my xmas lights. Please may i have mine done tomorrow? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 [quote user="Tresco"] Will all staff over 5ft 3" please report to Matron for compulsory leg shortening ..... [/quote] I hope that's the ONLY thing that will be shortened .... [:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tresco Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 [quote user="Geordie girl"]... Please may i have mine done tomorrow?[/quote]No exceptions can be made. I had considered asking the Grumpy Janitor to dig a series of holes for staff members to stand in as they greet the President, but I understand the Headmistress has been unable to lure Mr Ron Avery (her favoured candidate) into this thread...I mean position.Please report to my surgery by 6pm.Miss Woolly must also attend, regardless of her height, for Gender Clarification Investigations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 Mother TrescoYour posting made me laugh about aloud, which is unusual for me - as you know 'retinence' is my middle name. I have been considering for what position I would allow Mr Avery to apply.Does anyone have any ideas?P.S. I shall tower above the President, if I do a Sandy Shaw, but I am thinking of wearing platform shoes (remember them?) tonight as I do want to look down on Nicolas (I'm on first name terms with him, Miss Missy) from an elevated height. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 Mrs Geordie, Sports, wrote to me:Lady Catherine, as i am staff i feel i may be familiar with you. I have had to send three of my gals to your study to be chastised as they were not suitably attired for our hockey match this fine morning.Please proceed as you wish.........................Thank you for asking my advice on such matters. I am inclined to have them in the study, with Lisleoise my secretary, and perhaps Vice Headmistress Frenchie, to give them a good going over. But with Nicolas arriving tonight, my mind is elsewhere. I do give you permission to do what you want to do with them in the gymnasium. I have in mind that you can make use of the bullworker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geordie girl Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 I have suspended them from hockey forthwith and they`ve gone home in the huff. Instead of having my legs shortened could i not just wear a long skirt and bend my knees when i am introduced to said President ?Awaiting your instructions............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 I have delegated our wonderful Matron, Mother Tresco, to reply as the leg shortening was her idea.What will you wear under your skirt? It is a matter of great educational interest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geordie girl Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Probably just me legs ........................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geordie girl Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Probably just me legs ........................... sorry doubled up by mistake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tresco Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 [quote user="Cathy"]I have delegated our wonderful Matron, Mother Tresco, to reply as the leg shortening was her idea.[/quote]I refer you to Décret nº 8456 du 20 Decembre 2007. Items I and II, deal specifically with Sycophancy Boosts and Leg Shortening as prerequisites for an audience with the President of the Republic. Item III addresses the penalty for non-conformity.[:'(]I would advise Miss GG to nominate a short person to take her place. That Little ErnieY, perhaps, but he would need to shave first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 Tresco wrote: I would advise Miss GG to nominate a short person In her CV for a position in the sports department, Mrs Geordie stated that she was married. Is there something that you haven't told me, Mother Tresco? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 [quote user="Geordie girl"] ...... they`ve gone home in the huff. ......... [/quote] [8-)][8-)] isn't it supposed to be in the buff?..... Miss/Mr Wooly (Ooooo I do hope that you are a Mr... ) Please! explain this little bit of Inglish Langwage to me. In my office this evening at 9pm after the girls will have rehearsed the French national anthem for Sarko's visit. Miss Twinkle (choral and music mistress) will have gone by then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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