juxtapose Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 ........make man before woman?You need a rough draft before you make a final copy!!!Tee! Hee! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarkkent Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 He did it that way because he is a rank amateur and tried to do the whole creation thing in a week. When Mother Nature did it she took several million years and approached the problem from the other direction. Man is a variant of woman but Mother Nature didn't quite manage to perfect him, after all he still has nipples on his chest - but then he doesn't need strong elastic to restrain them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janey Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 No no Clark, he isn,t an amateur, he was just saving the best till last!Janey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tresco Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 What did God say when he created man?"Surely I can do better than this" Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?So men can understand them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Smith Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 I read that God made man first because He didn't want to have to listen to a lot of unwanted advice whilst he was doing it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juxtapose Posted December 1, 2004 Author Share Posted December 1, 2004 only send 10 per cent of blokes to heaven?Because if they all went, it would be hell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tresco Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 Re advice "Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening" Oscar Wilde. (I have to disagree with Mr Wilde on this occasion, i'm hoping for a leaf blower for xmas).The following is one of my favourite little quips about women - just to show what a well balanced individual I am, "An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for. Even then, no sooner has he got the hang of the tick, than she tocks". Ogden Nash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 Didn't Adam ask God for a leaf blower for Christmas?A woman's preaching is like a dog walking on its hind legs. It is not done well, but you are surprised to find it done at all. Dr Samuel Johnson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janey Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 Cannot possibly let you lot get away with this! Why did God create man first...to give us women a good laugh!Janey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonzjob Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 Adam said to God "I need a companion. Someone I can talk to and enjoy the company". God said that he could creat a woman for him. What's that said Adam. God said that a woman is a wonderful creature that will cook, clean, listen to you without interupting, make herself wonderful and obey your every whim. She will always be beautiful and never argue or raise her voice to you, but there will be a cost... What will the cost for such a beautiful creation be asked Adam. An arm and leg said God. What will I get for a rib said Adam. The rest you know.John (sleeping in the shed tonight. I really wish we had a shed, it's cold out here!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 Nietzsche reckoned 'Woman was God's second mistake'.Though I prefer Voltaire idea 'God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard-R Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 God created a nice garden to sit in and than a man to sit it it and enjoy a glass of wine, and just for fun a woman to nag him to get on with the mowing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0BRIAN WOODHEADI,m here in franceddMMyyyy0Falseen-USI,m here in franceTrue Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 If god was a women I,d be believer,better than going to pray on a sunday morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tresco Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God."What is it, my child?" asks God."Well, God, you've created me, and this lovely world, with all its beautiful animals (even that stupid snake), but I'm just not happy. I'm lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples"."Well" says God, "perhaps there's a solution. I shall make a man for you"."What's a man, God"?God replies "Man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego, and an inability to empathise. All in all, he'll give you hell. But, he'll be bigger, faster and stronger than you, and while he'll need your advice to think properly, he'll be good at fighting, kicking a ball around, hunting fleet footed ruminants, and not bad in the sack either"."OK", says Eve, but are there any other catches, God?""Well, yes, there is just one""What is it God""You'll have to let him believe that I made him first" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonzjob Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 "You'll have to let him believe that I made him first"Sorry don't believe that! Otherwise why would men have one more rib than women?John. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bixy Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 We all know God didn't create anything - it was evolution. So millions of years of evolution and we end up with...George Bush! Oh God! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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