mint Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Off to have dinner with a French friend and his boyfriend and to meet another couple that he is very keen on introducing to us.When I say "friend", we do know him a little more than casually. Have drinks with him maybe twice a year at his house and probably twice a year at our house. Had met a previous "compagnon" a few times.Now he has invited us to dinner with him, his new (ish) boyfriend and to meet another couple at his house.I know what to take Brits (booze of some description).I have only once been to a French woman's house for dinner and I think I took a homemade cake and some flowers. Have been a few times to French houses for drinks and something homemade and flowers have also seemed welcome.Now, whilst I know my friend loves flowers, I'm not sure whether to take those?I don't want to appear sexist or to make any exception to the norm.Does anyone have any ideas, suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolybanana Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 For Bobo's sake avoid pink[:D][;-)][6] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cendrillon Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 When we go to dinner with French friends or when they come to us we / they have offered the following:FlowersPlant in potA dessertA gateauSometimes a bottle of wine When they accept the invitation the Fr. friends sometimes ask "shall I bring a dessert?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ViVienne Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 pot plant (orchid?) or a box of chocs from the local chocolatiere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clair Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 I have offered petits fours from a nice patisserie. The host(ess) can offer them with coffee at the end of the evening.Macarons are very "in" at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mint Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 Thanks for your suggestions, one and all.Oh, Clair, I wish you hadn't posted such scrumptious offerings. It'd be hard taking those without the OH and I plus dog scoffing them all ourselves!BTW, thought it best in the end to warn my friend that OH doesn't eat meat but not to cook anything special as he'd eat everything else.The one time we went to a French house for dinner, we didn't do that. Partly, it was because I didn't speak enough French in those early days (2007) to have warned anybody!And it was very difficult for OH to avoid eating things offered to him without making an issue of it. In the end, he nibbled at some chicken and made a truly heroic effort.I was quite proud of him except that I was really worried he'd be ill as he hasn't eaten meat for about 40 years!No probs, in Brit households, of course, everybody is used to everybody else not eating something or other![:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jo Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 On a slightly different note, my neighbour, the previous owner of our house, noticed water runing out the utility room door and, because he knew where it was, turned off the water supply thus preventing further damage from the pipes that had burst in the cold snap while we were away. I would like to get him a little 'something' to say thank you, but don't know what would be acceptable, can anyone help with suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mint Posted February 22, 2009 Author Share Posted February 22, 2009 I would think something that feels "indulgent"..............something perhaps your neighbour wouldn't buy for him/herself.Some champagne, really nice chocolates, a beautiful plant to put in their garden? Jo, I'm trying to think of things I would be thrilled to receive but would not necessarily buy for myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooby Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Our french neighbours told us not to take wine as a present for our dinner hosts as the implication is that you don't like / trust the hosts' choice of wine... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mint Posted February 22, 2009 Author Share Posted February 22, 2009 But Jo isn't going to her neighbour's for dinner. She wants to give him a "thank-you" present.And no, I myself, do not take wine to a French house for dinner but do take wine to a British house as that's what is widely expected. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5-element Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 We often give a good bottle of wine to our plumber when he comes and does a tiny job and refuses payment (YES! We do have a plumber, and he does turn up - although not often when he said he would - and he does occasionally refuse payment...). He seems very appreciative, it seems the right thing to do.A box of chocolates is always appreciated too - even if the recipient does not eat chocolates! It seems one of the standard "thank you gifts".But now....I wish I had done Clair a favour, as those petits fours look just too inviting....so do the macaroons.. where is the drooling emoticon when you need it?.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooby Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 [quote user="sweet 17"]But Jo isn't going to her neighbour's for dinner. She wants to give him a "thank-you" present.And no, I myself, do not take wine to a French house for dinner but do take wine to a British house as that's what is widely expected.[/quote]I was replying to your OP!!! Little touchy aren't we?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mint Posted February 23, 2009 Author Share Posted February 23, 2009 No, not a bit touchy, but I am quite capable of avoiding social gaffes so no need for advice in that direction, thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ViVienne Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 your neighbour may like whisky, Something british and a bit of a treat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cooperlola Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I'm not sure that there's any point in worrying about this. Take/give booze if you want to. My feeling is that the most likely interpretation any French person would put on this is that it's a bizarre British custom. I doubt if they'd think you were insulting their choice of wine. They think we're a bit odd anyway so as long as one isn't seen to be mean, then I think most reasonable presents are acceptable. Clair's pic just makes me feel hungry.[:P] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chancer Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 [quote user="sweet 17"]Off to have dinner with a French friend and his boyfriend and to meet another couple that he is very keen on introducing to us.When I say "friend", we do know him a little more than casually. Have drinks with him maybe twice a year at his house and probably twice a year at our house. Had met a previous "compagnon" a few times.Now he has invited us to dinner with him, his new (ish) boyfriend and to meet another couple at his house.[/quote]When I first read your post I thought that you were being invited by a libertin couple to meet their friends but now I realise that they are a gay couple.I took flowers to a similar invitation but two bouquets, his and his/hers, I let them choose which one they preferred and they were well recieved.When I have met them at other dinatoires they have always bought really thoughtfull presents for the host, chocolates presented on some quite tendance japanese typ apero serving trays the last time. I reckon if you buy them something completely untraditional but thoughtfull they will love you for it.Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mint Posted February 23, 2009 Author Share Posted February 23, 2009 Lovely post, JR.In fact, lack of time dictated what I did take eventually (lack of time because OH, with his busted knee, can't drive or take the dog out or do much else).I knew the boyfriend adored champagne, so that was him sorted and I knew P (my friend) loved anything sweet so I took some Ferrero Rocha (on the basis that everybody enjoys unwrapping them and scoffing them).When I presented the prezzies, they immediately took the one that each preferred.BTW, there was another gay couple and a straight couple and I got to show off my newly-acquired French idiomatic expressions (mainly learned from the French thread) and there were oohs and aahs as to how I was able to use those so appropriately!Lovely evening and I can't wait to know the gays (all 4 of them) better. They were just so in tune with my feminine side (and believe me I can have a very masculine side as well)![;-)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joffan Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 If you do take wine to a French dinner party it will probably be put to one side and not used. The host will have carefully chosen the correct wines to go with each course. I usually take flowers or a plant, once a French couple brought us a fresh pineapple. There are no hard and fast rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierre ZFP Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 [quote user="Joffan"]If you do take wine to a French dinner party it will probably be put to one side and not used. The host will have carefully chosen the correct wines to go with each course. [/quote]Ah that explains it!This happened to me when I took a rather nice bottle to a dinner party and it was not opened. I suppose I was slightly miffed at the time but now I understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchie Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Well, I suppose all CF members know I'm french.Well, very surprised about the pineapple. [blink]When I am invited, I usually bring a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers. Don't take any offence if the wine is not drunk, it is appreciated and they will drink it thinking of you!If it is around Christmas time, a box of chocolate is usually appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chancer Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 [quote user="Frenchie"] If it is around Christmas time, a box of chocolate is usually appreciated.[/quote]But don't leave it near the fire [6][;-)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchie Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 [:P][:D][:P]I hate you JR !! [Www] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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