nomoss Posted February 1, 2019 Share Posted February 1, 2019 Condolences from us too.Thank you so much for taking the trouble to post your sad news. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lehaut Posted February 1, 2019 Share Posted February 1, 2019 Sorry to read your sad news. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gardengirl Posted February 1, 2019 Share Posted February 1, 2019 Condolences from me too, Blodwyn. It’s good to hear that you have such good support from friends and your sons. Do lean on them when you need to; after you’ve dealt with all the bureaucracy you’ll need to lean on others, it won’t be all plain sailing. If somebody asks what they can do to help, tell them - shopping, a cup of coffee together, a meal with their family, don’t just say everything is OK - they really want to help. Take care of yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mogs Posted February 1, 2019 Share Posted February 1, 2019 I can only send sincere condolences Blodwyn to you, your sons and family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judith Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 [quote user="Gardengirl "]If somebody asks what they can do to help, tell them - shopping, a cup of coffee together, a meal with their family, don’t just say everything is OK - they really want to help. [/quote]Excellent advice ... troubles shared, you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minnie Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 Thinking of you Blodwyn and your family at this very sad time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blodwyn Posted March 21, 2019 Author Share Posted March 21, 2019 For some reason, every time I tried to post here in recent weeks, I couldn't, but today I can! Thanks to all the kind people who offered condolences when my husband died 8 weeks ago. In case it's any help, I'll describe my experience as, even though my husband was terminally ill, I hadn't thought in detail about what would happen. It was all rather frantic, with phone calls, people calling in and my sons arriving from the UK. The funeral has to be within 6 days. It can be delayed only if there is good reason, but permission has to be sought and forms completed.Our GP signed a form which I took to the Mairie. I was asked for a birth certifcate, and the dates and places of birth of his parents. (A friend was recently asked at a nearby mairie for the dates of death of her husband's parents, so it's not consistent.) If I didn't know the dates, I could have guessed. I went back later to collect several copies of the death certificate. There is no requirement to inform UK authorities.A funeral company was phoned and someone came out later that day to take the body and to discuss the funeral. I decided to have the coffin closed at their premises- otherwise it would have to be done at the crematorium on the day. A kind friend offered to help plan the funeral and take charge on the day. It's hard to discuss funerals with one's loved ones, especially when they are ill, but I'm glad we did. It was simple and personal with friends talking about my husband, or reading things people had sent, including an affectionate amusing poem!My son downloaded 3 pieces of music onto a memory stick (after we checked what format was required). We decided that the coffin would stay put and I and my family would have a short time alone after the others had left. (That was the hardest bit.)I hadn't thought about flowers so rushed out the day before the funeral to buy some to put on the coffin alongside a nice photo of my husband. Apparently when flowers are ordered for delivery at the crematorium, they don't always arrive in time, so we took them. I hadn't discussed it with my husband so chose 3 charities in case anyone wanted to donate in his memory.I had to collect the ashes within two days. I believe the law says you should not keep them at home, but I hadn't organised anything else so they are still here. A French friend said they never check. We will scatter them on our land in the summer. Apparently, if you bury the urn and later sell the house, the buyers have to grant you access. Not a great selling point.I still haven't been to a notaire, which has to be done within 6 months. I have informed pension providers, bank, Inland Revenue.We only had joint bank accounts and the French bank card is in my name - otherwise it could have been stopped. Luckily I had no problem, but a friend pointed out that it's important to know what bank accounts the deceased had, and passwords. I was able to delete my husband's email and Facebook accounts.There are still things to do but nothing is urgent. The sadness continues though I try to keep busy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NormanH Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 What a dignified and helpful post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loiseau Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 Thank you for that post, Blodwyn.It always seems to be a scramble, organising a funeral - especially in France with the time limit - but it sounds as if it all came together splendidly and made a moving and fitting farewell.Very good point about the passwords and social media, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idun Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 Sounds like you have managed very well. Hope everything continues to go through smoothly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antonia Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 My husband died suddenly two weeks ago and I thought I would add to this thread.His death occurred in a hospital some distance from home. The death notice was issued in the commune where he died not where he lived. My neighbour recommended a local funeral director who took care of everything, from registering the death, to returning the body to a local chapel of rest and collecting all the personal effects. As had been said, funerals are done quick. It was so unexpected that I decided to go for no ceremony, just a quiet goodbye. I had expected some resistance but everyone was totally understanding and I returned home with the ashes that afternoon. I intend to return his ashes to the place of his birth at a later date.A couple of admin. thoughts:If a death occurs in a larger town or city you can order copies of the death certificate online including multi-language versions. They will be posted to you for free.If your healthcare comes from your partners OAP ( S1) and you are under pensionable age, you lose it the moment your partner dies. I am now trying to join PUMA.Your own mairie is informed automatically you don't need to pay them a visit.Early days for me but there you go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gardengirl Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 Blodwyn, what a helpful post, thank you. Be kind to yourself as you pick up the threads of your life.Antonia, I was sorry to read about your husband’s passing, and thank you for your helpful post. Remember to take care of yourself, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suein56 Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 Antonia wrote : My husband died suddenly two weeks ago ..You have hardly had time to come to terms with what has happened and yet you have made such a thoughtfully considered post. Sudden death is such a shock to the system so, as GG says, don't forget to take some time for yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loiseau Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 So sorry to read about your bereavement, Antonia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mint Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 I am lost for words so may I echo Loiseau's? It's sad and shocking and I wish you all the best for the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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