Letting a dog rule your life

[Frederick]

Today I have been in a long conversation with a lady in Southampton who lost her husband a few years ago.

Her son drives 25 miles each way to see her regulaly each week after work . Living in social housing she is sleeping on her sofa has not been upstairs to her two bedrooms for ages Due to mobility problems she cant do stairs . I suggested a stair lift and she told me she could have one it had been suggested .

I mentioned the possibility of sheltered accomodation being available had she considered that . I was taken back when she told be she had been offered shetlered accomodation close to her son and would love to go as she knows she is unable to manage in her house now . BUT .... she said " I cant go because I have a little dog "

So she cannot move to available accomodation she really needs and a family cannot be moved into her two bedroom home and will stay living with mum and dad longer......all because of a "little dog " I like dogs but if I was in her circumstances alone and perhaps shortening my life by failing to cope where I was And longing to be near family and knew I could be .....then the dog would be off to a new home as well where it might get outdoors occasionally !

.

[lindal1000]

I think I'd probably keep the dog..it's probably all she has. There's an organization in the UK called the cinnamon trust that will support in these situations, either by trying to look at ways that the person can continue to manage the dog, or by rehoming if necessary. They also work with housing associations and nursing homes to encourage them to allow people to bring their pets with them. There's no real reason why a small dog would not be okay in sheltered housing, where people generally live independently. I used to volunteer for Cinnamon and the bond between elderly owners and their dogs was often much stronger than family. When one particular lady I used to visit died,. we looked after and revoked her Westin . Her kids were pretty ungrateful and had no interest in the dog at all so I took great pleasure in ordering the prettiest and biggest bouquet of flowers for her funeral and sending them on behalf of her dog!

[crakpot]

I would not be separated from my dogs, the best mates ever, some bodies cannot understand the relationship and the reason to get up each day dogs never let you down or ask why

[woolybanana]

I find the attitude of homes which dehumanize their customers by removing every ounce of dignity they have to be utterly cruel and vicious; of course they should be able to keep a pet of some sort, with provisos. The animal is probably the only decent bit of affection they can get or give as their families are often a long way away and couldn't give a hoot, in many cases.

[YCCMB]

There, at least, is a shining example of a responsible pet owner. Obviously the lady realised that when she took on a dog it was for the duration of its life.

Far too many people are prepared to just pass a dog on to the nearest re homing association (or far worse) for reasons far less compelling than outlined above.

[Hoddy]

I'd like to make a case for responsible non-pet owners.Until my last dog died I had had one for most of my life, but after the last one I decided not to have another because now that I am old the chances are that they will outlive me.

I think she you get older it's something that you should consider.

[Frederick]

[quote user="woolybanana"]I find the attitude of homes which dehumanize their customers by removing every ounce of dignity they have to be utterly cruel and vicious; of course they should be able to keep a pet of some sort, with provisos. The animal is probably the only decent bit of affection they can get or give as their families are often a long way away and couldn't give a hoot, in many cases.[/quote]

I don't think its a question of her not being able to keep her little dog. . At the momeent she just opens her door and lets it out into her little back garden and her concern was .a communal entrance

and shared grounds .

[lindal1000]

I would suggest that she contacts The cinnamon trust. They could help her with this and maybe provide volunteers to help her to exercise the dog. Of course she may be using the dog as a bit of an excuse and perhaps she doesn't really want to move. It's a big change.

[PaulT]

Frederick I am sorry that you have missed out on the joy of non human companions - I will not say pet as I regard them as part of the family and thereby give them the same consideration as other family members.

The animal rescue organisations are full of animals that some people view as disposable assets. Good on this lady she looks upon her dog as a companion and what a shame that heartless housing organisations do not recognise the value of animals to people. I would hazard a guess that this womans dog is one of the reasons she is living.

[Frederick]

[quote user="PaulT"]Frederick I am sorry that you have missed out on the joy of non human companions - I will not say pet as I regard them as part of the family and thereby give them the same consideration as other family members.

The animal rescue organisations are full of animals that some people view as disposable assets. Good on this lady she looks upon her dog as a companion and what a shame that heartless housing organisations do not recognise the value of animals to people. I would hazard a guess that this womans dog is one of the reasons she is living.[/quote]

You are so wrong You do not know me I have had many dogs in my time and look after a family owned one now who thinks he has two homes. Read my earlier post ... It is not a question of a heartless home Its a question of an appartment in sheltered accomodation block where she will not have her own door to let the dog in and out which is what she wants to do ..

Hoddy has hit the nail on the head . The dog will outlive her the lady knows it wants to make the move and is I think unhappy with her situation because of the dog .

[woolybanana]

Clearly, Fredo, the apartment is unsuitable for a person and a canine and she should be found somewhere else. Or her kids could take it so she could see it regularly.

[lindal1000]

I think this sounds much less about the dog and more to do with the ambivalence people feel about having to move to a more suitable environment. It took us two years to encourage my mother that it was the right thing to do and even then she ended up in hospital the week before the move and we just had to do it. There are plenty of solutions for the dog that don't involve rehoming or her getting it put down. I think pet ownership in older age is a personal choice but I don't think you are any less likely to have to face difficult decisions just because you are old. Younger people face divorce, death, illness, redundancy, forced moves etch, which can all impact on your ability to care for a pet, and to a certain extent you can't predict the future. You just need to plan for all eventualities.

[Rabbie]

[quote user="Hoddy"]I'd like to make a case for responsible non-pet owners.Until my last dog died I had had one for most of my life, but after the last one I decided not to have another because now that I am old the chances are that they will outlive me. I think she you get older it's something that you should consider.[/quote]Perhaps it is something any potential pet owner should consider at any age. Any of us could be killed in an accident regardless of our age or health. So we need to make provisions for our pets if the worst should happen

[Hoddy]

Basically Rabbie I agree.

However, the odds are shortening ..............

[NickP]

There should be a rule that forbids anybody who is too old to bend down and pick up the poo that their dog deposits on the ground from owning a dog.[:D] (Tin hat on and head down). Of course the owners of seeing eye dogs and the like would be exempt.

[Frederick]

[quote user="NickP"]There should be a rule that forbids anybody who is too old to bend down and pick up the poo that their dog deposits on the ground from owning a dog.[:D] (Tin hat on and head down). Of course the owners of seeing eye dogs and the like would be exempt.

[/quote]

Also

When it comes to social housing and there is a requirement as in this case for an old and infirm person to move to more suitable housing and wants the move . And there is a need to house a family in the home that would be made available .Should a pet prevent it from happening . ?

[mint]

[quote user="NickP"]There should be a rule that forbids anybody who is too old to bend down and pick up the poo that their dog deposits on the ground from owning a dog.[:D] (Tin hat on and head down). Of course the owners of seeing eye dogs and the like would be exempt.

[/quote]

Well, Nick, what OP says is that, if dog owners are required to pick up their dogs' poo, why are horse owners not required to pick up their animals' poo from public spaces?

[lindal1000]

[quote user="NickP"]There should be a rule that forbids anybody who is too old to bend down and pick up the poo that their dog deposits on the ground from owning a dog.[:D] (Tin hat on and head down). Of course the owners of seeing eye dogs and the like would be exempt.

[/quote]

You can get a long handled pooper scooper for that!

Frederick, there are all sorts of reasons as to why elderly people don't want to move. A pet is not necessarily an obstacle to moving. Perhaps she just doesn't want to go.

[andyh4]

[quote user="Frederick"]

Also

When it comes to social housing and there is a requirement as in this case for an old and infirm person to move to more suitable housing and wants the move . And there is a need to house a family in the home that would be made available .Should a pet prevent it from happening . ?

[/quote]

I think the pertinent question from your post is when you say "there is a requirement as in this case for an old and infirm person to move to more suitable housing" is to ask, more suitable to whom? Clearly not in this case to the supposed beneficiary.

This is the start of social engineering and we have to ask where it will stop. Should we move poor people out of rich neighbourhoods to more suitable properties??

By all means step onto the escalator, but be very, very sure where it is going.

[NickP]

[quote user="mint"][quote user="NickP"]There should be a rule that forbids anybody who is too old to bend down and pick up the poo that their dog deposits on the ground from owning a dog.[:D] (Tin hat on and head down). Of course the owners of seeing eye dogs and the like would be exempt.

[/quote]

Well, Nick, what OP says is that, if dog owners are required to pick up their dogs' poo, why are horse owners not required to pick up their animals' poo from public spaces?

[/quote]

Are well that's the question, but myself and lots of others are very happy to pick up horse poo and put it on the roses. although we don't put it on the rhubarb  as we prefer custard with our rhubarb. [:D]

[idun]

Funny old life isn't it. When I was a kid some ardent gardeners would just about the following the horses and carts around to get some 'good stuff' for their gardens. There was never any left in the streets.

And this lady. Firstly I don't think that a two bedroom home is too big for one person. IF she had family or friends to stay, then one bedroom is awkward.

She should get the stair lift fitted if she isn't moving, for me it is madness not to.

And her son should not feel obliged to drive so far, so often. She is an adult and has made choices.  She knew like the rest of us that we either die, or each day we get older......... and eventually, we, like most old folks start running out of energy and steam and can get health problems. Just life.

I don't blame the sheltered housing for not wanting pets. If someone cannot manage everyday living, how can they look after and care for their pet. Sure it'd be good company, but for me a dog should never be just stuck in a house or let out into a garden. For all my Dad is still 'managing' if he had had a pet, then we would have had to take in any pet he had about 18 months ago. Everyday tasks take him an age these days and he wouldn't be up to say letting a dog out who needed to do their business.

When our cat 'goes', we shall not be getting another pet. In our sixties, I wouldn't want to worry about it's care, or who would care for it when we go.

I do feel for this 'son'.