Battypuss

Nothing to do with Britline, but I have an account with CA and a charming female Bank Manager who bends the rules left and right! I do speak French though. I think banks here are supposed to follow the lines, you win or lose depending on which area you are in and which bank. Normal French stuff really.

I unfortunately have various health issues that need to be addressed from time to time; thus have a mutuelle for both myself and the kiddiwinks. The price makes me cry, and has increased by 48% in three years since the CPAM decided to revise their rules about non-working people or those officially shoved in a box marked 'disabled'. The former get free everything, the latter sadly do not. Guess which box they shoved me in! Luckily, I gave up trying to understand the French years ago (does NOT mean I don't like them) but if they cart me off to the funny farm sometime in the future, I am of the understanding that the bloody mutuelle will cough up. Would not pay for my daughters' glasses however, and she is blind as the proverbial bat without them, until I hammered on the door and called them a lot of very rude names. A cheque arrived in the next post. Very odd.

Missed the whole thing completely. Either I have gone native or had better lay off the wine!

Unless you can GET to your nearest Ikea and carry the stuff home, forget them. You will pay twice as much for delivery as you did for the stuff. La Redoute charge little and if you collect it from one of their 'depots' (normally a tabac and one in most places) you get it the next day. I had them once deliver a bed in mid winter, down 300yds of track backwards in the snow and they were still smiling! Even the post lady hadn't ventured out...La Suisse is also worth considering. In both cases, I suggest ordering online or your phone bill will go through the roof.

We were advised to put your surname on one side and the telephone number on the other. So we did. The dog lost the disk two days later and I never bothered again as by then the locals knew perfectly well to whom 'Fleabag' belonged. You would have had to see the dog to appreciate the joke, she was tatooed and chipped anyway!   Our posts crossed, Flea was terrified of chickens, couldn't have chased anything to save her life and was insured.

Try looking at it from another point of view? If your child is lousy at math, for example, but already speaks and writes excellant English, that gives more time to concentrate on the math. Hence less work in the long run. I'm speaking of College and/or primary school here, in France, with the benefit of 3 darling (!) children...all three have been kicked out of English and put to work at their weakest subjects!

In the bad old days, when I had a house that was falling down round my ears, I succumbed to one of these salespeople. They came, they saw, they found nothing. They went away again, leaving me in the sure and certain knowledge that whatever other problems I had, termites were not part of them!   On the other hand, they might have figured I spoke French...

Kids have school here the 16th May; but no buses to get them there...both will be staying home.

Look for the Croix Rouge, Secours Populaire and Secours Catholique in the phone book. All normally have 'jumble sales' (all on hangers etc) at very low prices. Normaly twice a month or so in the the latter cases, The Red Crosstends to be a bit hit and miss, could be every week or every six months......

The Marie will give you a list of forms to collect as long as your arms (all four of them) and you will need to prove that you live in Var. Most of these forms, as previously mentioned are a concept alien to the British. Try googling the British Consualte; I am sure they have all the info required.   I know I gave up.

Check quickly!   "Better safe than sorry" is another phtase that springs to mind. I everything is above board thay will have no qualms about showing you the papers.....

Can't stand Tripe Andouilettes Unsalted Butter   INGRÉDIENTS  pour 4 convives 3 Oreilles de cochon nettoyées par le tripier 3 Cuill à S de vinaigre de vin 2 Oignons 3 Clous de girofle – piqués dans 1 oignon 1 Carotte coupée en rondelles 25 Cl de vin blanc sec 1 Bouquet garni : 1 branche de thym, 2 feuilles de laurier 200 G de roquette lavée et essorée 1 Noix de beurre 1 Cuill à S de cerfeuil haché – Sel, Poivre Vinaigrette 2 Cuill à S de vinaigre de vin, 6 Cuill à S d’huile d’arachide 1 Pincée de sel et 1 de poivre PRÉPARATION Dans une casserole d’eau froide, mettre les 3 oreilles de cochon, ajouter 1 cuillère à soupe de vinaigre de vin. Porter à ébullition, en écumant. Rafraîchir les oreilles sous l’eau froide courante et les égoutter.

http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=fr&u=http://www.empruntis.com/financement/guide/loi-besson.php&prev=/search%3Fq%3DLoi%2BBesson%26hl%3Den%26lr%3Dlang_en%7Clang_fr%26rls%3DGGLD,GGLD:2005-12,GGLD:en    This is in terrible English but is understandable? the law is also know as law Robien. Ask Franglais elsewhere; he's bound to know!

So, if the buses don't work but the teachers do, how do my kids get to school?

The only time I speak English (in person) is to the children. They answer in French...I have not met one single person of my age (46) who has made more than a passing attempt at learning French; I was made to attend classes by the ANPE and found the majority of English people there to be totally deaf. The Arabians, the Scandinavians and the Germans listened and did their homwork assiduously. I got********d out on week six and offered a job, so I have no idea of the end result. But upon that experience and many others over 13 years, I would agree that most Brits stick together like superglue given half a chance.   I come here to try and help people because I have been here longer than some and climbed the ropes, not because I want to cause mutiny in the ranks or cast aspersions.

Catch one, stick it in a jar and take it to the nearest Garden Centre. Make throat-cutting motions.   Read the instructions carefully.

Yes, you can it is called Triella here but is the same thing!     http://home2.scarlet.be/pin31929/diff.html  

I haven't a clue, but what about asking the AA/RAC or a major hire firm such as Hertz/Avis? They are bound to know!

I remember the heatwave clearly. Was informed by both dd3's school and dd2's College yesterday that school would be operating on the 15th/16th I forget which and can't be arsed to look it up, but there would be no school this Friday, the 6th. In consequence, dd3 has school all day Wednesday (not normally the case) dd2 has her usual half day and their mother is totally confused...

Try your best to avoid asking to use the loo! I don't know why, but it is considered highly impolite, especially with the older generation. Exceptions are made for children and pregnant ladies. It took me about 5 years before I felt able to ask our elderly neighbour if I could use her facilities, but by that time she was used to me being weird... After the meal, as someone else has said, play it by ear. These elderly people may well have been brought up in the system where nobody went to bed until everyone was asleep at the table! Leaving too early might imply you can't wait to be shot of them. Think of a couple of reasons why you may not be able to physically stomach something that hits your plate. "Malheueusement, mon medecin a dit que je ne peux pas manger ...... pendant X mois" works OK. The French will never argue with their doctors and would not expect you to, either. Decide which one of you is the sick one, the other will have to grin (literally) and bear it. Ask for recipes if poss. You may not get one, it could be a family secret, but the French tend to be convinced the English cannot cook and are happy to enlighten them. Send a thank you note the next day. Plan on a return match....

As I have said before, I don't run anything. But if I did, I would do it legally. As a single parent myself, with no discernable income...left high and dry some 9 years ago in the back of nowhere, I suppose I could have found some dubious sort of employment. But having the children stopped me from even considering it _ imagine what would happen if you, as a person breaking the law, were taken into custody? Yeah, doesn't bear thinking about. We have no family to help us and frequently (read 99% of the time) live hand to mouth. But having children means you have to take other things into consideration. The CAF are pretty helpful if they figure you are telling the truth, and Social Workers CAN put all sorts of help your way but please, think carefully before embarking on a scheme which could well end in worse than tears. Honesty has to be the best policy!

Try Beaufort. Herta do a bacon 'Petit Dejeuner' thatis smoked. Or try www.epiceriesanglaise.com  they will mail stuff to you cheaply!

Yes, contact the Caisse D'Allocations Familiales when you get here (normally called the CAF), be prepared to provide proof you live here and have cancelled your CB in England.

Quid is a bit like Pears Cyclopaedia; you can find the answers to virtually everything therein. Vu is more of a pictorial encyclpaedia that covers everything from the insides of the Human body in gory detail to the internal combustion engine, I would imagine the general content would appeal to the average bloodthirsty little monster; well it does mine and they are all girls! Both are freely available in a large bookshop and, as dates and battles and stuff, nor the human body for that matter, go out of date or change, one copy will last for ever! All three books were given to my children by an ex-headmistress who had little time for the church but knew how to tread the line...  

The boy's parent(s) need to go to the local Mairie and get an attetstation de sortie du terrortoire (yeah I know it's spelt wrong!) which will say where he is going and on what date, for what purpose. Last I heard, these were free.