Ivor Nidea

A refuse collector , is driving along a street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his compactor. He goes to one house where the bin hasn't been left out, and in the spirit of kindness, and after having a quick look about for the bin, he gets out of his truck goes to the front door and knocks. There's no answer. Being a kindly and conscientious bloke, he knocks again - a bit harder and then harder still. Eventually a Chinese man comes to the door. "Harro!" says the Chinese man. "Gidday, mate! Where's ya bin?" asks the collector.  "I bin on toiret," explains the Chinese bloke, a bit perplexed.  Realising the fellow had misunderstood him, the bin man smiles and tries again.. "No! No! Mate, where’s your dust bin?"  "I dust been to toiret, I toll you!'' says the Chinese man, still perplexed.  "Listen," says the collector. "You're misunderstanding me. Where's your wheelie' bin?'" "OK, OK." replies the Chinese man with a sheepish grin and whispers in the collector's ear. "I wheelie bin having sex wiffa wife's sista!"

It's not a joke but I found it amusing. http://loire.angloinfo.com/forum/viewtopic/33133/0/cat-killing-birds/

I hope that your guests eating steak don't mistake the grill marks for jockey's whip markings. Are you going for the Clydesdale, Percheron, or for the client watching their weight, the Shetland? It's all said in the best possible taste[:)]

On the question of pub grub I am well aware of the differences between "Home cooked" - "Home prepared" and "Home made". I don't have specific personal knowledge of food preparation sold commercially but a family member has worked for many years in pubs and restaurants in the UK and in various other countries, and indeed on big private boats. So I have inevitably been made aware of practices, some dubious ones, that exist in the preparation and cooking of food for public consumption. So, based on that, I would not surprised at anything that went on in the production of food for profit. I quite take the point that we have to take it at face value as to what is inside a ready-made meal, sausage or meat pie. I think it's standard practice to refer to cheap pies, the sort of thing bought for example at sporting events, as being filled with lips and nostrils, or maybe it's just the kind of places I frequented. By and large provided the pie or meal doesn't kill you there is nothing wrong (imho) in slumming it a bit on the odd occasion. Where I do have issue is where it is part of a normal diet and expecting a meal for 4 people costing 3 euros to be a healthy nutritional diet. I am not suggesting for one minute this applies to you Quillan but the one example I saw on a news programme gave the impression it was a normal diet. I imagine for that one family it could be replicated by many. A big problem as I see it is that issues such as the ready-made frozen meal begins as being a one-off in a busy, or can't be bothered scenario, then over the years becomes standard practice. Then with the ever increasing climb in sales so the search for ways of cutting the base price in order to compete with the competition. Maybe it's all part of a big picture with obesity and the alarming lack of fitness with young people. Once upon a time you could buy a bag of crisps for a threepenny joey, I wouldn't mind betting that small bag of crisps would be looked at with some derision nowadays by somebody tucking into their family bag.  As a final point, in my time I have eaten the odd kebab carved off something that resembles a severed limb but I don't even like to think what they are constructed of.

[quote user="Quillan"] . Its the same with these meals. We can buy a fresh made lasagna from the supermarket that feeds four for about 3 Euros. [/quote] That sums up what the problem is all about. If you buy cheap junk you must not be surprised at what's inside. The only way to get more goodness out of that meal is to eat the packaging.

Now this horse meat thing has all blown up that explains why the cows were keeping particularly quiet around here.

Who regularly buys ready made meals anyway, and what is the reasoning? I can understand why a busy working person might not want to prepare a meal after a hard working day so will just heat up a boil-in-a-box meal but not everyday, would they? On the news yesterday a retired couple said that the Findus Lasagne was their favourite meal. Isn't it a lot better, and cheaper, to make your own? I would imagine that buying ready made meals is much more expensive isn't it? Perhaps the more aware of you can tell me as I am a relatively new cook for myself person and cannot recall ever buying a ready meal. Some time ago I was at my son's home and we were having a meal that his wife had prepared earlier, as she was going out for the evening. We only had to cook some rice to go with it, she said. Out of the fridge came a bag of ready cooked rice and peas which just had to be heated up!! I would have thought that a bag of rice and a bag of frozen peas would have been much more economical and most probably not have taken longer to cook. Is this habit of ready prepared food the fashion nowadays? In saying that you ought to see the state of my kitchen after my meal has been prepared and cooked, it looks like a disaster zone.

Continuing my earlier post about the additives having an effect on gender alteration. I recall a couple of years ago when visiting family in Spain to do some DIY, when I was told to ask for the sales assistant with the black moustache in the ferreteria, turns out her name was Claudia!

Well if I see any meat products advertised as "Award Winning" I shall be asking exactly which award it received. Is it just my perception or are there more younger men going bald nowadays than there were 50 years ago? And are there a lot more "gay" people about nowadays than the ones that were referred to as "nancy boys" years ago? And another thing...have man boobs always existed?

[quote user="Chiefluvvie"]And, in answer to the last question from Patf - MP's are part of the general population so - NO we shouldn't expect a higher moral standard. It would be naive to think otherwise...... Cheifluvvie[/quote] That's not how I see it. Perhaps I am naive to think that MP's, especially those in government positions, should be trusted not to tell bare-faced lies and  not to make serious errors of judgement. It shouldn't be too much to ask, should it?

I bought a Cocotte from Aldi a month or so ago and it's brilliant for slow cooking. My favourite is Tunisian Lamb Stew Surprise. "Surprise" because I can rarely afford to buy lamb so I use chicken, pork or beef depending on what takes my fancy. 2 chicken legs A bit of flour Couple of onions Some garlic Quite a bit of fresh chopped ginger 2 tsp cumin 3 tbs tomato paste (or one small tin) 1 chilli (with or without seeds) 2 tsp ground coriander Tin of tomato's Enough chicken stock to make it worthwhile. A bit of honey and some sultanas. This will do a couple of meals. Stick it on the woodstove at about 2pm, ready at 5 or 6. Cook some rice on the woodstove in a separate saucepan to go with it. It also does two other jobs. It makes the house smell nicely and you can whizz up the remaining juice for a tasty soup. My dog loves Tunisian Lamb Stew Surprise Chicken Skin. I also cook a joint of pork with apples in the pot, and it makes a lovely curry.

I used to answer with...Merci de votre appel, je n'ai pas parlé à personne pendant une semaine. Voulez-vous connaître Jésus. But as they kept putting the phone down I gave up trying, now I just say **** off!

Here's one for those with a jam jar special sitting in the garage waiting for a sunny day, or is a George Brown fantasist with Super Nero on the start line at Santa Pod http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_26_qPlxeWk

It's ok Betty, Idun is referring to a different thread altogether. The Furry posting was on this dickie thread at about midnight of the 28th. Furry wrote something along the lines of "You make a great choice of lads Ivor!" Maybe one of the mods deleted it for some reason, but the time of the posting was still on the thread this morning although the post was gone. It happens all the time on the AI forums but this one at least lets the frivoulous continue.

Excellent! Delete the full stop in the middle of "youtube".

Well, you cannot fault his generosity as he treated his wife to a slap-up birthday last year in Canada. http://www.bbcanada.com/bb_bbdug_help_view.cfm?id=4400 Let's hope she appreciates him for all he does for her.

The last thing I do at night after locking all the doors in "Ivory Towers" is to take a look at the forum (it says here in my book of sucking up), I am pretty sure I read a short note from the pug meister furry last night, and the timings of posts seems to suggest there was. Please don't say I am the only one that now cannot see it, or I shall sulk.

[quote user="Rabbie"]Ivor, the Comparability button is the one which looks like a piece of paper torn in half that you see just to the right of the box you type a web address in  on later versions of IE. It sometimes helps with websites that don't work properly with uptodate browsers[/quote] Whoa!!! Thank you Rabbie. I had often wondered what that thing was...actually I hadn't seen it before, if I am honest. Now my agrophobic cursor has received therapy and I can do quotes like the grown ups. Thanks again.

I am afraid it's own up time for me again. <whisper> Please...what's a compatibility button? PS. I am able to tie my own shoelaces though.

The eejit furryknickers is another that brightened up an otherwise average day. If you fancy a titter cast your minces at this http://services.completefrance.com/forums/completefrance/cs/forums/1922964/ShowPost.aspx

C'mon everybody join in with the forum song "Dick Smith electronic wizard, we are the Dick Smith whiz kids" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbCr15KkBxY I can't HEAR YOU!!

Well!! Would you Adam and Eve it! I was watching the Adam Hills comedy show on Ch4 tonight and there was the Dick Smith Oz advert. That's what I call being ahead of the game. Talking of Dog...Mrs Tooting was. I think Dog was the one who used to fly Indian Fighting Kites wasn't he?

I recall, long ago, when I used to skulk along these murky corridors, that Dick Smith often posted. Could he have gone to Australia? http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2013/jan/24/australia-day-ad-tv-video

There is a big difference between a clique and what is referred to here as an ex-pat group, or at least there is to the group I belong to, which some of you may be thinking of. To me a clique is a group of people who share a common interest at the exclusion of others; this is not something I would wish to be associated with. The organisation to which I pay a small annual subscription too exists for anybody English speaking living in my area of France. Obviously brits (for want of a better description) outnumber others, of whom almost without exception are French. As an offshoot there are many clubs or interest groups to which you can join in with if you so wish. I do have an interest in the photography group, monthly walking group and I occasionally join in with arranged visits to interesting historical buildings or lovely gardens. These outings normally include a restaurant meal, or a bring and share picnic during the summer. French lessons and conversation meetings are also held and the conversation groups speak both English and French (not at the same time).  Local schools also like native English speakers to visit their students in class, and I have found the young people to be very interested in those visits. A couple of times I have been to the local catering section of the school when they have held an English themed event. It was a surprise to me that so many French people were keen to be a part of the group and they certainly add an interesting view on the differences between our nationalities. I am not so sure I could be bothered to join a French group were I ever to live back in the UK. It's probably not a young people's idea of a fun club but it suits retired folk, and all in all it gets me out of the house.

There you are you see, it just takes one person to own up and the others too afraid of what the rest may think of them admit to either belonging to or would like to join some sort of similar group. Following a major change in my life over here I eventually came to realise that I would have to fight against my natural instincts and get out to meet more people.  An ex-pat group was the easiest way to do it. Now, after a few years have passed, I find some of my natural cynicisms of such groups were well founded whilst other fears I had about my fellow human beings may have been misplaced. Although still happy with my own company the few ancillary clubs connected with the ex-pat group that I belong to give me the outside interest that I need. When I first came here I must admit to having the same views as others, and couldn't imagine why I would want to join a group of "sad" individuals that I came to France to escape from. It's then only the unexpected that forces you to examine your own prejudices. Luckily I still retain plenty of cynicisms learned over many years of dealing with people, some of them cynics just like me.