oliveau Posted June 4, 2007 Author Share Posted June 4, 2007 ...........which she put in place with great guile, ready to ensnare the unsuspecting Yvette,........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LEO Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 [quote user="oliveau"]...........which she put in place with great guile, ready to ensnare the unsuspecting Yvette,...........[/quote]who had already consumed ,at least three large Drambuie's and was feeling very, very .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russethouse Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 ready Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LEO Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 [quote user="Russethouse"]ready[/quote]...so,she promptly put on her.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TWINKLE Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 ....wellies[:)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chauffour Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 ..and asked: F U N E M ?and he replied:... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliveau Posted June 5, 2007 Author Share Posted June 5, 2007 .....'Madame, je suis desolé, mais ne ne parle pas francais'. His wife, hearing her husband talking to this French trollop immediately put her plan into action by........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chirpy Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 ..FINDING 2 RED BRICKS WHICH SHE WOULD HOLD ,1 IN EACH HAND, AND AT THE MOMENT OF HER HUSBAND'S MISDEMEANOUR,QUICKLY BANG THEM WITH ALL HER STRENGH AND CRUSH HIS........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Athene Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 Pink mobile phone that held the numbers of all his little 'pecadillos'! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LEO Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 alas,he was horrified to discover his little pink wotsit was... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliveau Posted June 6, 2007 Author Share Posted June 6, 2007 ..........covered in Tikka Massala sauce following an unfortunate incident in Jean-Pierre Gupta's Etoile d'Indie restaurant when............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LEO Posted June 6, 2007 Share Posted June 6, 2007 the gentleman on the next table who was wearing threadbare trousers, suddenly bent over and.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliveau Posted June 7, 2007 Author Share Posted June 7, 2007 produced a saucisson sec from a carrier bag. Meanwhile, back at the fromagerie Yvette Camembert, [who still hadn't had her chimney swept],....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 ... decided to take matters in her own 2 hands. That chimney of hers needed a good rodding! and she was going to get it done!. Jules Camembert, her husband, was to busy serving these 'punaises de sacristie' as she called that posse of elderlly women that came to the shop. None of them aspired to or gave any desire of elegance, sophistication, lust and glamour to anyone except Jules. He emberlicoted them good and fine with his shmarmy/shmootzy lethario manners. He was after their purse! Yvette was livid at that sight and in one of them moods not unlike a werewolf mood at full moon. Armed with a saucisson sec, a baguette, a bottle of piquette, she quickly marched over to Ramon l'espagnol. His parents came over as refugees from the bad days of Spain. He was a bit twp and didn't learn much in school but was good at climbing high up and awkward places like chimneys, so he set up as the ramoneur du village. As he saw Yvette Camembert approaching at a furious space, he decided ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliveau Posted June 9, 2007 Author Share Posted June 9, 2007 ......to take up paragliding and............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Athene Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 so he swarmed up the chimney and launched himself, Mary Poppins style, with his biggest chimney brush aloft instead of an umbrella! His landing was not soft and certainly NOT what he had anticipated.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliveau Posted June 10, 2007 Author Share Posted June 10, 2007 .....when he had inspected his tomato plants that morning. Zut alors! the plants were alive with............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Effie Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Sooty aphids... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliveau Posted June 11, 2007 Author Share Posted June 11, 2007 ....so off he went to find Harry Corbett and ask if he could send Sweep round to sort things out. When Yvette heard of this she was overjoyed, for at last she might get her chimney swept and then she could... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Athene Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 get off to the local brocante where she had heard a rumour that the local 'anglaise' was going to be selling off a large collection of secondhand, outsize, M and S, white cotton undies! Now obviously these would be far too large for the slender Yvette but for her husband.. Well that was another matter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Effie Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 However on entering the brocante...the thoughts of knickers dropped from her mind when she saw Harry Corbet's son... (His father having long since gone to the Puppetteer's Paradise in the sky)...demonstrating to the pretty plump 'anglaise'...the correct positioning of his long fingers inside...Sooty's smooth velvety.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliveau Posted June 12, 2007 Author Share Posted June 12, 2007 .....,warm, inviting,...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Effie Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 chinese silk lined travelling box...which was also large enough to hold a pair of his dear departed father's..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oliveau Posted June 14, 2007 Author Share Posted June 14, 2007 ...cheese sandwiches, made....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrCanary Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 by the young girl in the local bakers - who had carefully scrubbed her fingers after the previous evening's dalliances.Meanwhile, back in the auberge, a now 'very stressed' Maire was pacing backwards and forwards like an expectant father, and gazing out of the window across the square to La Poste. As he watched, he saw the very beautiful Delphine coming out. He quickly pushed open the window and shouted, "........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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