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Exile

mint

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mint Newbie

mint

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For the first time in the 5 months since I have lived in France, I feel a sense of exile.  What has brought this about?  Is it missing family, friends, Tesco, the Sunday papers?  Yes, I do miss those things, sometimes more than others, but their absence have not so far engendered this feeling of exile, of statelessness, of a suspension of reality.

What brought it about was watching the last night of the proms on TV.  As luck would have it, I only had the dog for company and SHE was asleep on the settee, so had to keep the sound down.  The OH had actually gone back to the old country for some 10 days and was possibly at the Albert Hall or perhaps Hyde Park.

I'd never actually liked the last night of the proms.  Well, it's not exactly a profound musical experience is it?  I used to love going to the proms (and would have gone much more often if we could have afforded it) but have never ever wanted to attend a last night.  I mean it's all so corny and all those promenaders reminded me of boisterous overgrown children on a school outing.

But, not last night.  None of it seemed corny or meaningless then.  Now I have never been a flag waver (literal or figurative) and have always been a bit wary of nationalism (especially the fundamentalist, capital N variety).  However, last night was wonderful, yes, even Land of Hope & Glory, even Jerusalem, even Danny Boy as sung by the kids from Carick Fergus and, for perhaps the first time EVER, I was glad we have God Save the Queen and not envy the French their Marseillaise.

Union Jack waistcoats & bowler hats?  No, they didn't grate!  Holding hands with complete strangers and singing Olde Lang Syne?  Why ever not?  I have to say I shall never see my fellow Brits in the same light again. 

Next year, for last night of the proms, I shall do a supper and invite some friends to share it with us.  We'd have the music on loud on the CD player, starting with the Elgar, of course, and finishing with God Save the Queen.  We'd drink warm beer and cold champagne.  I won't want to be alone next year.

Anyone else out there ever feel like an exile sometimes?  If so, please do post and say what being an exile means to you.

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mint Newbie

mint

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Wooly

How long since you left the UK and how long since you last visited?  Just curious and also wondering whether for me it will always be a case of a corner of a foreign field that is "forever England".  Not that I'm planning on dying just yet, you understand.

It is just so strange, this feeling of exile and I must also confess that it has come as quite a shock as it was the last thing I'd expected.

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Patf Newbie

Patf

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I watched the last part of the programme and also felt not exactly exile but very homesick. But then I thought, this is a one-off feeling, those people will go back home and be just the same as ever. Should I really be there, sharing all the problems that exist at the moment? I think with me it's partly the effect of the music, however corny or schmaltzy it was. But I've said before on here that when I'm back in UK I do feel that I belong and I'll never feel that in France. Sweet 17 - I think that's a good idea to make a party next year for the last night - I would like to join you but it's too far. And yes those kids singing DannyBoy - had me in tears.
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Panda Newbie

Panda

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Hello

I too was shocked by my own feelings, I was driving alone in France about 6 months after moving here with a random CD playing and Land of Hope and Glory boomed out and I started to cry.  It's weird as I, like you, never thought I felt that strongly about being away from the UK.  

I'm not sure how I would react to the same scenario now, 3.5 years on, it would depend on my current mood, some days I long to be in England, others I walk the dogs and think how lucky I am to be here!

Panda

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Russethouse Rookie

Russethouse

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 Actually thought it was rather a good 'last night' excellent performance by Joshua Bell and Anna Netrebeko, particularly good arrangement of 'Fantasia on British Sea songs', not quite so keen on the children singing Danny Boy, but they had a certain charm.........

Jerusalem is always the tear jerker for me.......

I think its the sense of continuation, rather like the Festival of Remembrance, you know the order and what is coming next, its strangely comforting.

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Bugsy Newbie

Bugsy

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I think it's only natural to have those feelings from time to time. Something jolts the memory bank and nostalgia kicks in. Just grab a piece of paper and write down all the good and bad points about where you live now and where you lived before.

You'll probably find there is No contest.........................................[:)]

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mint Newbie

mint

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Bugbear

It wasn't the rational part of my brain that was working.  I agree, it's no contest.  This morning, I took my mug of tea up to the top of the garden and sat under the silver birch whilst the dog dug around and chased geckos.  It's not that I don't like my life here.  I do, immensely, and, as Panda says, it's impossible not to feel lucky to be here in this beautiful country.

I was completely caught unawares, that's all.  How wierd to have those kinds of feelings lurking around in the innermost recesses of your being and not even consciously know that they are there!

Also, I couldn't help thinking about all the people who are not voluntarily exiled from their own countries like we are.  All the refugees and others who had to flee, for whatever reason.  And with no immediate hope of return.  How very terrible their position must be!

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Bugsy Newbie

Bugsy

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The occasions when I have to go back to England are getting less these days. I always look forward to going, but strangely, after I've been there a day, all I want to do is come back home.

 

 

Anyone know how to wean my wife off of her obsession  with Vide-greniers................Shopping Spree

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S Newbie

S

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We really look forward to going over to our holiday home in rural France, and after about a week of grass and cows we can't wait to get back to Brighton! Then after about a week back here, we look forward to going back to the tranquility of rural France once again.

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Tony F Dordogne Newbie

Tony F Dordogne

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Well, at least it's a self-imposed exile so you can always go back to the UK should you feel the need for a fix.

Personally, I've really had enough of the UK for the time being, backwards and forwards so many times since we moved here and really want to spend time at home getting things organised here.  Do I get a lump in my throat at things English - afraid not but then I never have, so nothing new there then, well, perhaps when I see the old guys on Rememberance Day who were in the Japanese camps with my Dad, but that's because of him, not that they are in England.

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cooperlola Newbie

cooperlola

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Tony, I'm with you and probably for much the same reason.  I've been back "over there" so many times in the 3 years since we moved that I would not care to count!  Mostly, but not always, not for pleasure either, but to sort out one family crisis or another.  Really, I would like to know what 6 uniterupted months of living in my home is really like.

And after the reaction when Aston Martin won the GT class at Le Mans this year, I was pretty pleased I did not have to mix with the Brits around me (at least en masse) more than once a year.  They did not make me proud, just embarassed.

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woolybanana Newbie

woolybanana

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[quote user="sweet 17"]Wooly
How long since you left the UK and how long since you last visited?  Just curious and also wondering whether for me it will always be a case of a corner of a foreign field that is "forever England".  Not that I'm planning on dying just yet, you understand.

It is just so strange, this feeling of exile and I must also confess that it has come as quite a shock as it was the last thing I'd expected.
[/quote]

I am not typical by any means as my career took me abroad but I havent lived in UK for nearly 12 years and have not been back at all for about six I reckon, and even then for all of three days.

The way not to get homesick is not to listen to the BBC, not to look at things which represent the past. Be French, live French and things will be fine. I could go on. Otherwise keep popping back like so many people then be stuck somewhere in the middle which is, in my view, a very uncomfortable place to be.

Keep taking the Frog pills.

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Just Katie Newbie

Just Katie

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The Welsh language has a word called 'hiraeth' (here rithe (ph.)) for which we claim there is no translation other than a heavy hearted longing for home.  The word 'homesick' simply wont do!  I remember living in London as a child and my mother crying when she heard the male voice choirs singing Mafanwy. 

I also think in the case of my mother it was memories of friends and family back home which was a day travelling by road then.  However, the funny thing is since home she has fallen in and out with her family more times than I care to remember and turns the tv off when the choirs come on!

 

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urko Newbie

urko

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[quote user="sweet 17"]For the first time in the 5 months since I have lived in France, I feel a sense of exile.  What has brought this about?  Is it missing family, friends, Tesco, .............

[/quote]

I live in England and never go near Tesco.  I don't miss it.

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