if you could do it all again....

[Rose]

Hello - having committed ourselves to moving in August (26th!)  [:D]  we are now working our way through the long list of tasks we need to sort before making our big move!  I think we have considered everything and we are pulling together all the bits of paper we need to gather... my question is... if you were moving next week to live in France what one thing/job would you have done differently (to avoid frustration, hard work or problems) or conversely what one thing/job would you definitely do again (to save heartache, frustration and time?)

I may as well get a few tips from the experts!  Looking forward to your thoughts and comments! [:$]

[Junlesley]

The one thing I did do before moving out was to open a Nationwide Current Account, its been a god-send, no bank charges for using your card abroad, not like the Lloyds Account I have.

[Cassis]

If I had known about it, I would have consulted this forum. 

Our mistake was wrongly believing (thanks to a very badly written info leaflet from HMG) that we did not qualify for E106 healthcover, so we had no idea we were entitled until the best part of a year had passed.

[Tresco]

[quote user="pale_pink_specs"]

Having committed ourselves to moving in August (26th!) ...if you were moving next week to live in France what one thing/job would you have done differently (to avoid frustration, hard work or problems) or conversely what one thing/job would you definitely do again (to save heartache, frustration and time?)[/quote]

You have exactly one month less 'notice' than I did.

I was stupid, stupid, stupid and didn't have any French lessons in the 7 months.

What I would do again? Start Chucking Out and Packing, Today

Don't give most of your books away though!  If you do, never reveal you have done so on the forum. People will immediately recognise you for the deranged lunatic you are, and you'll struggle to be taken seriously afterwards.[;-)] [:$][:D]

[Bugsy]

Sort out ruthlessly all the stuff that you pack into boxes for removal or storage. We packed our house contents and had it moved into storage. It stayed their for nearly four and a half years (we bought a 36' Winnebago and went travelling). when we finally bought our house and had all our stuff delivered, we threw loads of it away, what a waste of money storing that cr*p turned out to be.

Be ruthless and save some money.....................................[:)]

[David J]

Hi,

Not sure where you are going to live in France and whether you intend to make any driving trips back to the UK.  Getting a 10 ticket special from Speedferries Dover - Boulogne to use over a 2 year period will save you some funds but if you return to Devon there could be better links for you.

Good luck

David J

 

"Always on the ball"

 

 

[Rose]

Thanks for comments so far - this is really useful!

I was stupid, stupid, stupid and didn't have any French lessons in the 7 months.

French lessons starting next week for me and my son... OH has better grasp than us!  We have also agreed that we will speak only French for one hour each day - not sure how useful this will be but I want to start speaking it and getting a feel for the language... I often feel a bit embarrased to speak up even when I understand... hoping this will help me!

What I would do again? Start Chucking Out and Packing, Today -

I have so much 'stuff'... OH thinks I am mad as I keep old christmas/b'day cards etc... and a huge box of children's pictures and paintings from nursery and school... I know I must be ruthless but it will be hard!  I've also been watching the posts about keeping or buying new... we're leaning towards only taking what we love and buying new for everything else? 

Don't give most of your books away though!  If you do, never reveal you have done so on the forum. People will immediately recognise you for the deranged lunatic you are, and you'll struggle to be taken seriously afterwards.

This made me smile - I want to take books as we have LOTS!  OH says it will cost too much to move them all... I'll pass on your comments as a way of adding weight to my side of the argument!

Thanks very much for your thoughts - August can't come soon enough!  [:D]

[Tresco]

[quote user="pale_pink_specs"] I want to start speaking it and getting a feel for the language...[/quote]

Find a French radio station you like!

[quote user="pale_pink_specs"] we're leaning towards only taking what we love and buying new for everything else?  [/quote]

I was just like you with the hoarding. I still have a fair amount of sentimental 'stuff' but nothing like what I used to have.

I regretted not bringing some of the furniture. Sometimes, you really don't know what you'll miss till it's gone. Finding nice furniture that goes with what you have already is really time consuming.

I just had another thought. If you're going to be buying a new fridge/freezer you should consider ordering it for delivery when you arrive. It's no fun slogging round various shops in the kind of heat you can expect in August.

We had to wait a few days for delivery, too. Milk was going off in two hours.[:'(]

I'll pm you about the deep regrets regarding books.

[cooperlola]

I agree with Tresco's fridge comment.  However, I bought an electric cool box which works off the mains and a 12v battery to tide me over, so you can try that if you want a bit more time to look around for the right thing.

[Blanche Neige]

"I have so much 'stuff'... OH thinks I am mad as I keep old christmas/b'day cards etc... and a huge box of children's pictures and paintings from nursery and school... I know I must be ruthless but it will be hard!  I've also been watching the posts about keeping or buying new... we're leaning towards only taking what we love and buying new for everything else?  "

Join www.freecycle.org it costs you nothing and people who belong to freecycle will always be delighted to collect your unwanted treasures and put them to good use.

Sometimes people request items, for eaxample a girl recently asked for knitting needles and wool to start a knitting club at school, brilliant.  I have loads, a legacy from my late MIL and do not need all this stuff taking up space,  so will pass them on to this young teacher. 

Late MIL would be pleased to know her wools / needles are being put to good use.[:)]

[Rose]

Thanks for the ideas - I'm already adding things to my very long list!  you are all such a fountatin of knowledge! [:D]

[Nearly Retired (I am now)]

I haven't made the move for full-time living in France and might never do. But something I read over and over again is the advantage of holding on to a UK address: mum's, aunt's, or that of a very good friend - whoever, just someone you can trust to handle post for you. You just might be glad of it for helping to get Sky, bank accounts, pensions etc etc. 

[Babbles]

If your French isn't great hire a translator, really takes the pressure off and our is a mine of useful advice on where to go and suggestions for builders etc thay might charge a bit but I would budget it in, I was close to tears in EDF trying to sort out our electric with the unhelpful man you really don't need to put yourself through that sort of thing, it might seem to others on this forum that its too much hand holding and you've 7 months to become fluent  but you've loads to sort out before you go so don't beating yourself up over it[:)]. If your not a natural when it comes to learning a language keep trying different methods till you find one that suits you, mines a mixture of Michel Thomas and TV5 on sky (good to watch the news to see whats important to the French) I tried having lessons for over a year but just didn't work for us but also I try to read french magazines of interest to you (your local newsagent can get hold of a surprising number of magazines if you ask) and you'll soon pick up the vocab for things your interested in.

But I think the biggest tip is don't get paranoid, as an "incomer" its easy to think that bad or difficult situations happen because your English I had a really bad experience in our local bank and was quite upset when I got back to the house, but a month later I found out from our gas man that the lady in question was just a cow (even to the French) and was sacked for it, but all that time I thought we were unwelcome. Give yourself plenty of time to adjust, it maybe perfect from day one but if its not get into a routine that is familiar to you till you feel more comfortable with things.

I thought people were joking when they said bring paint with you, I'm really glad I did as its soooooooo expensive in France and not that good but it does seem a bit barmy!

My emotional experience of moving is not through moving to France as for now its a second home , but from moving to the States for 6 months which was a trully awful experience, partly due to my lack of preperation and too high expectations[;-)]

[chessfou]

The "one" thing we would definitely do again is to ensure adequate language skills (which we were lucky to have already) and also [;-)] spend as much time as possible in advance on research (we spent 5 years analysing a move abroad, 4 of which to France and more than 2 years looking around this département).

The only thing I can think of that we would (probably) do differently would be to allow more time for the move. We had our (trusty) removal firm (same team that moved us before) pack on the Monday, departing UK Monday evening, travelling Tuesday and delivering and unloading Wednesday morning. That gave us enough time to check over the house after they left and drive down here with our most prized possessions* (mainly computers and hard drives), staying overnight in Calais and arriving here at 11pm Tuesday night (we had commenced the rental agreement three months beforehand and had already visited several times for delivery of white goods, new bed and various other stuff), with the removal men turning up early the following morning. It actually worked perfectly but I can now see how we could have built in some more "downside protection" that would not have cost much extra (if any, given that we had, over the previous three months, built up luxury "camping" conditions in the house here - heating and services inc. telephone, fully working kitchen with "back-up" crockery & cutlery, brand new bed, table and chairs).

*This is why I would (again) keep one existing car (we gave the other one to our eldest son) and re-register here (as I have). For anyone planning to make the move without driving any of their possessions, then it would be much better to get rid of all UK vehicles before moving.

[Dick Smith]

If I could do it all again it would be quite different. For a start we would buy somewhere in a town or village, not in the countryside. That is because at the time we bought our place we were both very stressed and needed rural tranquility - now we are older and realise that walking to the boulangerie or bar is a big plus.

So the main difference would be because we and our needs have changed in the meantime.

Oh, and I would have found a faster builder...

[Gardian]

• Sort out the E106 / tax residency situation prior to the move, knowing (now) that it can take ages to resolve once you're here. That time will pass quickly in the early months, but if you leave it, then it just becomes a running sore.
• Ensure that you have an absolutely clear understanding re property boundaries / ownership and any other salient factors such as rights of access.  Don't accept at face value anything said to you by anybody - request and require written proof. 
• Make sure that you have glasses, a bottle opener and at least a bottle or two ready and available in the car for the 1st night there. Poking the cork down in to the bottle with a dodgy bit of stick and then drinking out of plastic cups, is inappropriate.

 

[Rose]

I love the way you see the lighter side of life!  I think that a dodgy stick and plastic cups has a certain romantic quality… but maybe that’s the specs!  A bottle opener and a bottle of something apt will be added to the list… although drinking brings me out in hives … but what the heck! 

 

Thanks for the advice about language Miss Babs… I really really want to master French – I'm not too bad at learning basics… learnt Turkish a few years back and managed to travel across country… did a bit of Spanish when I was much younger and found that reasonably ok… forgotten it all now of course!  I have school girl French and do seem to understand more than I can actually say… this will maybe make me a good listener?  OH says I am better than I think – perhaps lack of confidence plays a part… I’ve seen Michel Thomas pop up a few times on the forum and seen his CD on ebay – think it may be worth £31 to have a go!  My son’s teacher is giving him one-to-one French lessons after half term as I want him to have some knowledge… he wants me to sit in and I think this will help me too… I think I am more concerned about the language than OH (but he is better than me) but I want to make friends to help our son make friends... but I will take on your advice and not panic! 

 

We’re thinking about the timescales for the move (we wondered if we were planning early but maybe not) – we’ve seen a lot of advice about getting rid of the car before we go but we are planning to move 3 cats down in the car.  Our current thinking is get a removal company to move us – but think the idea of staggering their arrival is a good one… I want to ensure our house is left in a very good state so I have currently asked OH to allow 2 days for this (it’s a big house!) … we are thinking of taking the fast ferry crossing and driving straight down with the cats, and the kids coming with grandparents on the plane the following day.  The rented house has everything we need so unpacking isn’t an issue for us … but we will think very hard about the timescales given what you have said!

 

I also take on board about closeness to town or village life... we live in the country now with no close neighbours but do think we should be closer to life for our son's benefit... I like the idea of being close enough to walk to the shops rather than take the car - we're not going to start looking in earnest for a property until we're in France but we'll take on board all the advice about property... and no doubt be back asking more questions when the time comes! 

 

I’ve been talking to OH about selling the car and he thinks he’ll keep it for a few weeks but drive it back when we’re settled and sell it then.  We will have to make monthly commutes and we are keeping one car in the UK for this purpose… the idea of an address in the UK is a good one… I’ll have a word with Mum-in-law! 

 

This is all a great help – open to more suggestions if they are out there! [:$]

[Bugsy]

One piece of advice we received when buying a french property was to carry out, with the seller, a full inventory of what is included in the sale. It's good advice as there have been cases where new owners have arrived with the keys to find virtually empty shells.

[Catalpa]

Yes, definitely agree with that. The other thing we do is: if there are any mature trees in boundary hedgerows (or anywhere on land you will be buying) we state that they must not be felled or pruned in any way. We include that clause in the compromis. We like trees, trees around here are a source of income and / or heat and it would be a shame if you bought somewhere thinking you had a beautiful stand of beech trees (for eg) at the entrance to the property... only to find a few stumps on your arrival. Obviously you have to "own" the boundaries for this to work and it may be irrelevant to you anyway. [:D]

[Monika]

If we could do it all again, we would not buy a complete renovation project (converting small barn plus new extension), we would buy a house which needs some renovation which we could do ourselves or with the help of one or two Artisans. It has taken us over two years with the help of a Project Manager and many Artisans and it is still not quite finished (we are still waiting for the snagging list to be completed) and it has cost a lot of money (if we would sell now, realistically and if we were lucky, we might just about get our money back). Our mistake was to buy in 2003 when properties were sold overnight. Now there is a Buyer's market and many great properties are available.

[londoneye]

a few things.

1.    If at all possible I would have flown over earlier myself to get the house cleaned up and vaguely 'ready' for habitation.   Admittedly it wont be as much of a problem for you, as you are moving at a nice time of year, so you will be more or less living outside.

2.    Buy a mini-fridge and bring it with you (it will always come in handy for those extra beers outside !)

3.    Do not ever, ever, fall into the trap of allowing the person with the better language skills to carry out all communications.    I did this, and now i am seriously weary of the whole thing.   OH practically needs me (or feels he does) to attend the toilet with him, just in case someone speaks to him in French.   Be brutal !! If a delivery arrives now (and its a regular delivery driver, eg building materials etc, who pretty much knows where we have stuff anyway), I trip down the acre field and ignore OH's plaintive (progressing to raging !) cries for assistance !!!!     Believe you me, he is always pretty pleased with himself when i eventually come back up, if he has mastered a few words, or understood a couple of sentences.    Its so very easy to let one person do the talking, but unless you both master the language it is terribly difficult.    Perhaps its just us, and other people have not encountered this problem ..

4.  Read information, such as that contained on this forum, which is in general excellent; but make your own way; people can only give opinions, they are not you, and your experiences might be quite different. 

[chessfou]

[quote]Its so very easy to let one person do the talking, but unless you both

master the language it is terribly difficult.    Perhaps its just us,

and other people have not encountered this problem ..[/quote]

Yes, our regular conseiller at our local bank expressed particular surprise that we both had a reasonable command of French; she said that in most cases it was limited to just one partner and that, in her experience, that made for difficulties.

Nonetheless, since same conseiller made a slight error when entering some details, our home and car insurances are all in my wife's name ... so I allow her the pleasure of dealing with anything on that front. [:)]

[hastobe]

I agree - and have the same problem with plaintive cries from OH...as I vanish!  Left to his own devices he would hardly speak any French. 

I noticed a similiar thing at our village fete.  We met an English couple who had moved here permanently some 10 plus years ago.  She was fluent whereas he had a very sketchy grasp of the language.  When you watched them interact socially it was obvious why - she did all the talking, made all the decisions...and he trailed along in her wake.

Kathie

[lucky luke]

Only piece of advice I'd offer is don't welcome all newcomers with open arms. We were delighted to make new french "friends" in the first week - they were chatty, pleasant and very helpful - but, for a variety of reasons, we have since spent four years trying to distance ourselves from them! Remain open, friendly and polite but don't rush to make friends with every neighbour you meet - retain the same judgement you have in England for France.

Hope this makes sense! Good luck with everything.

[mint]

agree totally with this last post.  although we won't be moving there till next month or early april, i would add don't tell any old acquaintance your french address or that they can come and visit (as my OH is too inclined to do)

it's surprising how many "friends" we have acquired since people have known about our intended move.  i don't mean to be inhospitable, but i certainly don't want to be invaded by people whom we would then have to entertain and put up.  we are after all moving away to have a complete change of scene and that includes some of the boring old social circle one inevitably gets stuck with.

also, if people do come, unless you love them dearly, insist that they have their own transport as i have visions of us taking them round all the local sights until we ourselves are sick to death of them.

i will be looking forward to seeing friends and family of course, but only the selected few!