Jo53

The schools will reflect the area, i.e. they will be backwaters where nothing much happens and where most of the pupils will not aspire to anything more than an agricultural/factory/shop job on the SMIC (if they are lucky enough to find one). Most people will never have travelled or lived more than 30 km from where they were born. Private prep territory it ain't. It would be wise to research very carefully before deciding whether this is really the schooling you want for your son. The comment by another poster that their daughter's French education was a struggle and no fun sums up the reason we left France (la Mayenne). An Australian friend who brought her son up in Paris told me recently that putting him through French education was her biggest regret (this was at good schools in Paris). Her son had been worn down by the negativity and struggle of it all and the punitive attitudes. As she said to me, what is the point of it being so miserable? What good does it do them? Life is there to be enjoyed. He has recently gone to Australia and has been transformed by the relaxed mentality and positive attitudes there. French university students are miserable too - working their butts off to avoid being kicked off the course. No time for soft skills or extracurricular activities or just ... finding yourself. (I'm quoting what French graduate friends have told me.) It's not what we wanted for our kids.

You don't keep full native speaker status for ever if you spend your life in a non-Anglophone country. In the europe-wide professional association I belong to there is a British guy who has lived in Germany for 30 years. He considers himself an authority on English usage and writes articles on it in the newsletter, for the benefit of non-native speakers. But a lot of what he says is out of date or wrong. For example, he thought that to 'parent' a child was the same as to give birth to or father a child, whereas its meaning in English is exclusively to do with bringing up a child. Re universities, all the problems of underfunding and overcrowding that now exist in many English universities have existed longer and worse in French ones.

Well, getting back to the OP's question ... (quiet at the back there!) Yes France is very family focused, but that generally means spending large amounts of time with YOUR OWN family. I suspect you mean child-focused, which France in many ways is not. I can't speak for upper-middle class families in the bigger cities. But certainly in rural areas there is very little for children to do. There is not the same emphasis on stimulating children that the British have. There are very few parent and baby/toddler groups. Those that exist tend to be run for the benefit of deprived families. There are 'halte garderies' where you drop your children off and leave them for a couple of hours; the idea is to get them off your hands, not to have a social with other mums. French mums don't network in the same way British or Americans do (someone said this in one of the Expatica blogs, and it chimes in with my experience). There are almost no toddler activities during the daytime because children are expected to start school at two and a half or three. So you won't find others with children at home to socialise with either beyond that age. There are fewer after-school activities. Children are not thought old enough to do anything (eg learn to swim, do any mini-sports) until they are 6. The toddler activities that do exist are incredibly tame. Edit: the notable exception is Mini-Tennis (4 and up). Mini-Tennis is great! The only place you will find a soft play area is at MacDonalds! Around us, in rural Mayenne, children don't even have birthday parties. Life is too basic. I'm not trying to discourage you, but just warning you not to expect a thriving parent and toddler scene such as you would find in the UK.

We're returning to Oxfordshire, which is why we were interested in the school. I know it's very popular locally - I just wonder how many of these local children (in the English section) are bilingual, considering that they don't like taking children who have been educated abroad. Your French friend's children were in the French section, presumably? I wonder how much mixing there is between children from different language sections? We'd have liked to visit and discuss these things, but you are not allowed to visit until offered a place ...

Does anyone have any experience of the European School at Culham in the UK? We thought it would be a good environment for our three bilingual children (4, 6 and 8) when we return to the UK next month. We applied to the English section of the school. However, they rejected the children (without seeing them) and told us to reapply later 'after the children have been successfully integrated into English education'! We were astonished. It doesn't seem a very 'European' attitude. They seemed unprepared to offer the fairly small amount of extra support that the eldest will need to catch up in written English (we explained that he can already read in English). In reception and year 1, I can't believe that the other two know much less than English children do at that early stage. I thought a European school, which is heavily subsidised by the EU, would cater for bilingual children who are moving from one education system to another. Luckily the local primary has been very friendly and helpful, and we are very positive about the children going there. 

What about the massif centrale? Closer than the alps (we are in la Mayenne) and has some low-key ski resorts, which will also cater for cross-country skiing. Haven't been there but have looked at it in brochures and internet. I would avoid the big ski resorts - in most it's difficult to access more than a tiny strip of snow if you're not skiing. Have fun Jo

Why did the OP make this into a dig at the British? Who do you think a) makes and b) drinks all that vast range of 2 euro cough mixture, sorry table wine, that fills the supermarket shelves??? Couldn't be the French, oh no, obviously not.

The Intermarche in Lassay les Chateaux (53, near the border with 61) sells wonderful bacon produced by some English farmers in the Orne (61). Can't remember the name of the business unfortunately. It is real old English-style bacon, no added water, cooks beautifully. It's in the refrigerated section near the ham. It's packed and pre-sliced, not all that thick but not paper thin either. Yum. Jo

Major disadvantage of induction hobs is that you cannot listen to the radio while cooking, because the field generated interferes with the radio signal and makes it unlistenable - nothing but a loud buzzing noise. I find this really annoying as I love to listen to radio 4 whilst cooking. Jo

It is the carte de famille nombreuse. It applies to families with three children and upwards. You get the application form from the SNCF (your local station or agency). I got the forms and was going to apply until I saw that all the documents you need (and believe me, there are lots) must be translated into French if they are not in French. Forget it!

Follow-up to the sad demise of Mrs Beady (original post of this thread). One of her ageing sisters went awol a few days ago. A really clever hen, always the leader, and in pretty fine form. Blow me if today on a search of the undergrowth (the gardner is off at the moment[Www]) in the veg patch I didn't find her lying dead on top of the place where the other one was buried. The earth was all moved about. She either died of pining or killed herself trying to dig down to the other hen. When I found the first one dead she was there by the body, the others had gone. I feel a Walt Disney film coming on ... PS I am not completely stupid. I realise this could look like bird flu but it definitely isn't. PPS Juswundrin - agree with you completely. jo

If money were no object I would spend about four months a year here in our lovely house in our peaceful village, and the rest of the time having a life somewhere else! I think what a lot of us really want is the best of both worlds - and that's mighty difficult to achieve. Another good thing about flitting back and forth would be that neither the UK nor France would lose its novelty value. For me a trip to Sainsbury's while we're back is as exciting as shopping in France was when we first came. I think maybe some people find it easy to settle in one place while others have itchy feet, and I'd put myself in the latter camp (damn, where is that athlete's foot powder...) For us we actually could do it because I can work from anywhere via the internet (and doing that is what keeps me sane here). But we have school-age children, so we have to choose one place and live there. We've decided to move back and I agonise about it all the time (we're waiting for the house to sell). But I am 42, my husband 44 and unemployed, and deep down we KNOW we can't spend the rest of our lives living here in this village. I think more than anything I just need to be somewhere where I can communicate with people beyond smalltalk. I speak French quite well but not fluently, but often it's not the language that's the problem but a lack of any common reference point. I think it does something to you after a while when all your jokes or casual asides or whatever fall completely flat, and result in an earnest explanation of the point you were being ironic about ... So we will move back and live in a box in the UK, with traffic and all the rest of it (tho we're not going back to London or commuting, come what may). And agonise about why we left France probably. As well as enjoying all that's on offer there[B] Too much choice. It is a dilemma for the privileged, isn't it. I keep telling myself just to buckle down and 'bloom where you're planted'. Jo

I know how you feel. I have put mine off for this reason. (Funny, in all my history of having 3 kids I have never had anything 'intimate' done by a male doc, always midwives and practice nurses, and I just don't like the idea of it. [blink]What I will do, when I get around to it, is to look up gynaecologists in the phone book and find a female one. You don't have to go via your 'medecin traitant' to see a gynae. And as your male doc won't really expect you to go to him for it anyway, there is no risk of offence. Jo

Our childminder charges euro 1.89 net per hour per child. On top of this there is a flat 'maintainance of home' charge of 2.65 per day. On top of these amounts, if you do it legally with a registered childminder, you pay approximately 50% again as cotisations to the URSSAF. You are in fact classed as the childminder's employer, so you pay employer's cotisations and you also pay employee's cotisations (because the 1.89 is the net wage not the gross, so you are paying her social security contributions for her). Then we pay 2.15 per meal and 1.20 per gouter (snack). Finally, you pay an extra10% of her net salary per year as holiday pay. This is all laid out in the 'convention collective' for childminders, as is what to do if your child is sick, if you go away on holiday, etc. I think the 1.89 is the minimum under the convention, or close to it. The childminder can set a higher rate if she wants to. We are in a rural area, it may well be more in the towns. HTH Jo

Because policing in the UK is based on the idea of locally accountable forces that police their patch by consent. The police are not, in theory, meant to be an arm of the state or the military. They are now considering merging some of the smaller forces for efficiency, and a national force was set up recently to tackle serious and organised crime. Edit: I posted at the same time as Clarkkent. I don't believe that the division is purely administrative. There is a principle of local accountability.

The planet the author is on is 'choose a book title to gain attention and make money'. Which she has achieved very nicely. Round here (NW France), many people (men and women) are well built and upwards. At the swimming pool last week I noticed a good proportion of lardy children.

I wish people would not go on about how cheap medical treatment is in France as though that was a sign a of a good service. Doctors here are woefully underpaid. How would you like to study for 7 years to be a doctors then charge people the princely sum of 14 quid for a consultation, out of which you have to pay for your own surgery and receptionist and self-employed social charges?

Thanks everyone for your replies. Actually she went on her own - I went out there prepared to do the deed but by then the best thing seemed to be just to leave her, because she was resting quietly. A couple of hours later that was it. Relieved I didn't have to do it, but suppose I will sooner or later as we have two others that are getting on a bit. Funny how fond you get of chickens - they have loads of character. Jo

When people talk about all the anglais moving to France, don't forget to tell them about the thousands of young French people who are moving to the UK to work (it is estimated, not sure how accurately, that there are the same number of French living in the UK as British in France). The French have some very odd preconceptions about the UK and the English. For example, rather than seeing British incomers as a source of regeneration, some of them will think that you have come to France to take refuge from a dickensian social system and to claim the fruits of France's social utopia. France is very inward-looking and fearful for the future at the moment, fertile ground for resentment against foreigners. Also there are a lot of rednecks around who have never left France (or even their own region)and who treat French people from different areas with suspicion too (I've been told this by several French friends who are 'not from around here'). If you want cosmopolitan attitudes and anonymity, move to Paris (I don't mean that nastily). Having said this, I can understand the resentment of locals in those areas that have become swamped with Brits and other foreigners. Jo

Can anyone tell me how to wring a chicken's neck? One of our girls (now 3.5 years old) has a large maggot-infested area extending from her backside up under her wings. Only discovered it today - she seemed fine before. I am feeling pretty sick just thinking about it. Have put wound disinfectant spray on, but I know that such a wound on a human would be hard to heal, and realistically the kindest thing is probably going to be to put her out of her misery. She is has already stopped moving around much. So how do we do it? What is the kindest way to kill a chicken?? Any help really appreciated ... Jo

Should add that the 35-hour week is a joke for many people in professional and management grades (cadres), to whom it does not apply. They are often expected to put in very long hours; staying until 7pm is regarded as normal, not as working late. In many companies managers' workloads have increased because people who are hourly paid or on junior grades are on a strict 35 hours and so are not getting as much done anymore, or can't do overtime. So the managers have to do some of their work. In return, cadre grades get RTT (reduction de temps de travail) days to compensate them for working over 35 hours a week. The number of days RTT days off per year is negotiated within each company; some get a lot more than others. Doesn't correspond to the extra hours you actually work. Some people do very well out of it, others end up not taking the RTT.

Surely it's all to do with where you are resident. If you are not French residents, your French assets don't come under French inheritance or divorce law - yes?

Thanks Anton. Your point about 15 viewings is worth remembering. It's just that 15 viewings are looking pretty unlikely this side of 2009 at this rate. We're going to have to do more on the marketing side, although there is a fine line between good marketing and over-marketing, which makes people look desperate and makes buyers suspicious.

Teenagers around here do not appear to have much of a social life. The local town is completely dead at night except for one bar, where a few studenty types go. Then there are a couple of out-of-town discos. But you never see teenagers out and about in the evenings, not even hanging around getting drunk at the bus stop. If they do, they must hide themselves very well.

Is anyone else out there trying to sell their French house at the moment? How is it going? Or has anyone sold recently? Our house has been on the market for 3 months, with a large local agent and also an agent who markets houses in the UK. We've had only 3 viewings so far, one lot of which were obviously just being nosy and weren't the least bit interested in buying. I'm beginning to worry that it will take forever to sell. The house is lovely and in excellent order. But I get the feeling that the English are not buying in any numbers and that few French in rural areas have the money to buy a nice house. Jo