Joh Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 I can see my faith in someone lowering the tone has not been mis-placed! Just surprised it took this long. Things shooting up are not due till Spring are they? You know daffodils and bluebells and things that do not grow too thick and hard? That when given a squeeze don't, Whoop's nearly! Seeing as the weather is so arctic down there at the moment Chris why not flood the Mole tunnels and wait for them to freeze. Then dig them up in the Spring and sell them to the Dinosaur museum in Esperaza as Jurassic remains? I'm sure there's a film to be made in here somewhere... Can't think of a title at the moment, Jurassic Mole does'nt work nor , The Mole that time forgot. Still something's bound to come up eventually, probably in the Spring..Terry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chirpy Posted January 28, 2005 Share Posted January 28, 2005 wELL MY RHS EXPERT TELLS ME CROCUS AND SNOWDROPS ARE POKING UP DEPENDING WHERE YOU LIVE APART FROM XMAS ROSES. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexis Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Don't worry Ab, I think it was meant for me. A perfectly innocent remark regarding a fairground game. Crocus's are not only up here they are in flower. Primroses too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quillan Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 Like the idea of turning the grass up side down only problem is I have about two acres of the stuff. I am off to the UK for a few days, the LR Discovery, all 2 tons of it, that I bought to flatten the tunnels with was a bit of a disaster. I did not take in to account the fact that moles tunnel on the left. I though while I was there I might pop down to Porton Down to see if they have any new exotic nerve gas's I can try. See you next wednesday chaps, keep the ideas coming.Toddle Pip Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chirpy Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Inspiration-has come at last-when you are in england why not bring back some mole wrenches.? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonzjob Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Ab that's a fantastic idea. If Chris's moles are bloke moles they will be too interested in the wenches to do any digging and if there are wenches themselves then they will be too busy fighting! Brilliant!John ( disliksea lures KO) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chirpy Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 NOT SURE IF THIS MESSAGE REACHED QUILLAN WHO IS ON THE WAY TO U.K.urgent do not repeat do not use eurotunnel as interpol are looking for moles -a huge uprising is expected this week,\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joh Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 Call in the SAS, Squirrel Attack Squad. Nature fights back....Terry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quillan Posted February 3, 2005 Author Share Posted February 3, 2005 Having just returned from the UK with some more highly toxic stuff from Porton Downe I had the opportunity to watch the BBC news, more important, President Bush's State of The Union address. I am somewhat alarmed that he said that whilst they do not know where Mole Bin Laden is they won't stop spending billions of $'s searching for him, this I find alarming as I know where he is and I don't require several millions of dollars of space technology to find him, in my bl00dy garden thats where.I am rather of a mind to email the White House (thats assuming they have someone there who can get their head out their bottom long enough to read it if in deed they can in fact read) and ask if I could have the reward offered but stating they will actually have to make the arrest themselves, I shall just provide the location. I would of course have to bring them next door up to speed as the sight of a full on attack by Navy Seals along with all their support bit's and bobs might give them cause for alarm. I would of course have to state that they would, like all of us that live here, have to stop between 12 and 2:30 for lunch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piprob Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 Never actually seen any seals in the Aude, Quillie, Naval or otherwise. Don't think they coexist particularly well with canoes. Still, if they do come, you can add them to your mole collection and your rogue chickens and advertise yourself as a wild life attraction. You do sound pretty wild, and you can't be blamed for that.Glad your trip to Blightie was a success. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonzjob Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 Crikey Chris, you have a long lunch brake! I have to start agan at 2.15!Be aware that IF you inform the White House they will problabl just send you a cruise ship missle, without the DIY instructions, under it's own power.....Does the modern navy need seals, I thought their boats didn't leak now. I'll have to ask one of my neighbours, he's an ex-fish-head (navy).John.Spare the rod and spoil the mole? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quillan Posted February 4, 2005 Author Share Posted February 4, 2005 What do you mean they are really seals like in the zoo. Her in doors was getting very excited about the idea of chaps running round the garden in tight fitting rubber suits with big long things, this could be a source of great disapointment to her.New tunnels again today, I wonder what they call the 4th, 5th, 6th etc. I mean we all know about Tom, Dick and Harry, but where do you go from there. Of course we could try legal proceedings based on sexism, only giving the tunnels male names, must be against the law. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opas Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 Well seeing as the post bag has turned into a south england forum perhaps Lydia and Sharron(so we span the London area) Sharron can wear her white shoes and Lydia could bring her horse! ...even more holes in your garden. Mrs O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piprob Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 And what about Tracey? Can't leave her out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David584 Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 I did read elsewhere of an old wives tale that if you were to pour Lait Ribot into the tunnels, it will drive the critters away for some time. However, I shudder to think what the odour in your garden would be like after a few days Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joh Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Perhaps if Sharon and Tracy are for hire (in a non-sexual manner) they could walk up and down Chris's garden in their white stilletto's and spike the little bighters.Steady now, I can see this forum degenerating into Essex girl jokes....Or is it tooooo late,Terry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chirpy Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 too late how many essex girls does it take to spike a mole? -answer at lleast 4.1 to find it 1 to hold the spike 1 to push the spike in and1 to !!!scream !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joh Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 AB, you forgot the fifth one, to hold the other's handbags....And all the blokes standing round the outside holding their beer making derogatory comments.Terry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quillan Posted February 7, 2005 Author Share Posted February 7, 2005 I have a plan, it involves Mole Bin Laden, fox hunting, getting drunk and the local chasse, let me explain.I intend to set up a company called Tally Ho France. The object of this company is to get fox hunters across from the UK where they will no longer be able to hunt. They can bring their red coats and bottles of Port or whatever and hunt Mole Bin Laden down.... for a fee of course. They can all have a good old drink before they head off, preferably on a Wednesday or Sunday morning. This would also provide some alternative sport for the chasse so instead of 'accidentaly' shooting the old Pyrenees mountain bears they can take pot shots at the hunters (for another fee of course and money up front for both parties), sort of a win, win situation I thought. Could this work I ask? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joh Posted February 8, 2005 Share Posted February 8, 2005 Sounds good from here, give the English huntsmen a start (on foot) while the French count to a hundred, But, having seen what the hunters do, when after a successful hunt, they hang the boar by the back legs over a bucket/dustbin and then proceed to skin it and carve it up. As we are aware when the French go hunting it is for the purpose of ingesting the spoils as well as the sport. I cannot see it working, try to imagine some English hoi polloi strung up by his ankles, throat slit and being distributed in part for dinner, cannibalism in the Aude I think not. There I poo-pooed that idea. Had some very nice visions for a while though.... So don't wear red coats in the forest on hunt days. I was going to make an amusing comment about huntsmens horns but nothing will come to me at the moment , deleted deleted deleted deleted. Idea, Get the other good half to knit little red jackets for the mole's, Terrywhere the sun does'nt shine out of my deleted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opas Posted February 16, 2005 Share Posted February 16, 2005 Saw your add on TV last night( caisse d`Espagne) ,how did you get your moles to smile for the camera like that? and fancy not holding out for a better offer from the Banque de france! Mrs O PS you should have had the gun ready. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piprob Posted February 16, 2005 Share Posted February 16, 2005 I could warm to these ideas. But I see one flaw. Or rather, I don't see it. Where does the getting drunk bit come into Quillie's plan? I was wondering how this (essential part of any sensible scheme) didn't get a full mention in the advanced publicity. I know there are 'pros and cons' but I am voting for the 'getting drunk first' option. It think it will be kinder on our memories of the the occassion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joh Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 Where did the getting drunk part come from? Now I have visions of E**ex girls running around holding their shoes on high ready to spike anything within arms length. Will I ever get back to sleep again without the aid of Stugeron......So much for hibernation. T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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