Re: Treated Like A Hotel.....?

[Iceni]

[quote user="Simon-come-lately"]but....they're on H O L I D A Y......... I guess Gardian is just really lucky with his guests... Simon :-)[/quote]

This thread confirms my view that when faced with a potentially embarassing situation most Brits are spineless. Don't even breathe a word to the freeloaders but moan loud and long here or TF or any other places where the whingeing Poms congregate.

John (who chooses his guests with greater care than many of you seem to)

[Bugsy]

[quote user="Iceni"]

This thread confirms my view that when faced with a potentially embarassing situation most Brits are spineless. Don't even breathe a word to the freeloaders but moan loud and long here or TF or any other places where the whingeing Poms congregate.

John (who chooses his guests with greater care than many of you seem to)

[/quote]

Some, maybe John, but not all, I can assure you.

I took two 'friends' who had offered to 'contribute' to their one week stay (but never did) to a cash machine on the way to driving them to the airport.

Strange, but they haven't been back [:D][:D]

.

[Simon-the-censored]

 

I guess one of the great things about being a Brit is our inate ability to demonstarte manners and politeness in any given situation (generally!) - sets us apart don't you think?.........I can fully appreciate that we are the envy of many other nationalities in this one respect.

Oh, and the other thing is....I do so love a good whinge - another endearing trait. Thanks for highlighting it Iceni :-)

Simon :-) (who cooses guests he can have a good whinge about!)

Bugsy - love the notice !

 

[NickP]

I keep reading this thread and am beginning to wonder if there is something wrong with our family. My lovely Irish wife is one of 7, so with 14 brother and sister in laws, children and grandchildren we now total over fifty, last count yesterday! Because it's a big family it's just normal for everybody to chip in, muck in whatever. We are also spread over a large area of the country so visiting and staying over is normal; and when we have our annual family party or are just visiting for a couple of days, whether in England Ireland or France everybody arrives with or immediately acquires from local shops the necessary food drink etc. I think this is one of the wonderful advantage of having a big family,  no one thinks you are there to pander to them, and  they visit to enjoy family life and I assure you we do. In fact I feel sorry for people who don't enjoy this privilege. [:D]

[Hoddy]

We have annual get-togethers too. I'm off back to the UK next for ours. I shall still mind if the eight year old eats strawberries

and cream with her fingers though.

Hoddy

[KathyF]

When our family members visit (we haven't had friends so far, pehaps because we're not in France all the time) they always insist on paying their share of food costs - even our two children and their families. That way they know they will always be welcome and we know they won't eat us out of house and home.

Minor whinge - my smilies aren't working.....

[KathyF]

Oh yes they are - I just remembered to refresh the Compatibility View settings. [:D]

[Simon-the-censored]

NickP - I envy you! Sounds idyllic and great fun - just not something I've experienced.

You know what, members of my family arrive completely empty handed - i.e. bearing no gifts or token gestures whatsoever. It's weird because we don't expect or need anything but....when they bring absolutely nothing - not even a newspaper - it just serves to highlight their extreme rudeness and lack of any etiquette. Call me old fashioned......but I wouldn't dream of going to a neighbours for aperos or dinner without taking something - even if it was 6 eggs!

Next 'batch' arrives in a couple of weeks so we'll see......

Simon :-)

[idun]

As you say, very very rude.

And no, I wouldn't go anywhere without gifts.

[mint]

En plus, if you are on a tightish budget (and lots of us are, now the exchange rate is so dire), having a couple of visitors for a few days can really knock that budget for six.

I know this for sure.  Had a couple of visitors last month and I had to check the figures twice and run them past the OH before I could believe them.  The amount was over TWICE the usual credit card bill.

Edit:  I don't want to give the impression, however, that I grudge spending the money.  When they are visitors whose company I enjoy, I don't mind tightening my belt for the next couple of months after their stay.

[Iceni]

[quote user="idun"]

And no, I wouldn't go anywhere without gifts.

[/quote]

When I first arrived here I was living in a small caravan on-site while working on the conversion so had little space to keep things. When invited out to dine in a French home I had no idea what to take but having been advised that it is better to take something I had made or grown I took a bowl of radishes. They were pounced upon by my host, washed and returned to the table within minutes, each one sliced open with a small snip of butter inserted. When I tried to apologise for not bringing something a bit grander I was informed "but these are so much better than just going into a shop and buying something that we probably don't need or want".

Aren't the French strange?

John

[mint]

Not at all....it's the thought that counts, n'est-ce pas?

I have often taken homemade biscuits, cakes and flowers in pots that OH has grown and the recipients have often been thrilled that we'd gone to the trouble!

It's just so much more personal and, from the giver's point of view, often cheaper......therefore, win-win, wouldn't you say?

[idun]

I am expected to take cake or pastries and if for any reason I cannot, have to give a full and proper warning in advance. No one ever brings a cake or dessert to us.

On top of that we usually take choccies or flowers or a plant, AND at least one decent bottle, usually two.

I cannot remember life being other than that. The only thing I remember about the early days  and later with 'new' friends was people telling me that they had been worried about what they would eat chez nous and then being worried about what they would feed us when they invited us back.

I am not expected to take cake here in the UK, though, although sometimes I do.

 

 

[mint]

I like taking something homemade because flowers cost so much here in France and sometimes, where we lived (though I don't know about the present place), you can't get anything for an affordable price that you'd want to give anybody!

We take wine to Brits but not to French (as they like to think they are so much more knowledgeable in that department!) and then there are the special patisseries.....cost an arm and a leg and they look like the most unappetising confections to me!  Mind you, could be I don't like things that are too sweet but....all that goo and colourings....yuk!

 

[idun]

Chocolates and flowers cost a lot.

Think about it, unless something has really changed in the last three years, boxes of chocolates, decent ones are only available around christmas. So that means buying chocolates from a chocolatier, or a bakers. I reckon that choccies or flowers always cost at least 12€ and more usually around 15€.

I have to say that because I make so much for others, over the years, I have had gifts in return that are marvellous and have been unexpected.

[EmilyA]

I take pots of home-made jam, jellies and chutney, with our own label on them. OH sometimes takes his home-made bread, baked in our bread oven. We have some friends where it seems fine to take wine (others not) and we usually take Australian or South African wine brought back from the UK.

[Cendrillon]

If you were still in U.K. and family or friends came to visit would you expect them to contribute to the housekeeping or just be content with a token gift or perhaps being treated to a meal out somewhere?

 I guess the feeling is that they are coming to France on holiday and if they don't contribute then you are effectively funding their foreign holiday, airport transfers, sightseeing, the lot!

We have friends in France who now write to their would be guests saying that if the guests plan to stay with them for more than 3 or 4 days then they should hire a car at the airport and be a little independent. A brave step!

[KathyF]

Cendrillon, in the UK family and friends normally only come for the weekend and most people wouldn't mind funding that. I certainly don't.  They also normally come under their own steam and don't need ferrying about everywhere. If they come for a week or a fortnight I for one would expect a decent contribution, even in the UK.  I'm retired and they are mostly still earning.  'Nuff said.....

[Cendrillon]

Kathy, I think that is the point I was trying to make but perhaps I didn't make it clearly!

I think the visitors / friends who come to France to stay on holiday probably imagine that it is the same thing as visiting in England. A mindset problem perhaps.

edit: posted in haste this a.m. and have now corrected my post, one "s" only in friends whatever baggage they might arrive with! [;-)]

[KathyF]

Sorry, Cendrillon - probably didn't read your post carefully enough.....[:)]

[Rabbie]

I had an elderly relative who never stayed more than three days on an visit. She explained this by saying that guests are like fish. After 3-4 days they begin to go off[:)]