Chatham Chav

[Gardian]

 

A good chuckle in these gloomy times ............ (I expect that those of you not a million miles from Essex / Kent will have heard it already!) :

 

 

After having their 11th child, a Chatham couple decided that was enough, as the social couldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong enough to nick one, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Chav said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand...

This procedure also works in parts of Tottenham, Essex, Aberdeen, Merseyside and anywhere in Wales.

[Rob Roy]

[img]http://bestsmileys.com/lol/16.gif[/img][img]http://bestsmileys.com/lol/16.gif[/img][img]http://bestsmileys.com/lol/16.gif[/img]

[Missy]

[quote user="Ian Horn"]     This procedure also works ....... anywhere in Wales.   [/quote]

Bang goes next year's production of lambs !!   [:-))]

[marc62]

Ha Ha

 

Heard the same story from Gard

 

Marc (2 kids a cat & a few fish)

Kent & Vendee

[Tony F Dordogne]

Blimey, not heard that one for years .......

 

[egger]

Well as you get older Tony, you do start hearing the same jokes over and over again, as you have started to realise [;-)] lol.

[Renaud]

1. What do you call a Chav in  a box? 
Innit. 

2. What do you call a Chav in a filing  cabinet? 
Sorted 

3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a  lock on it? 
Safe. 

4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav? 
Innuinnit.   

5. Why are Chavs like slinkies? 
They have no real use but it's great  to watch one fall down a flight of stairs. 

6. What do you call a  Chavette in a white tracksuit? 
The bride. 

7. You're in your car and  you see a Chav on a bike, why  should you try not to hit him? 
It might be your bike. 

8. What's the  difference between a Chav and a  coconut? 
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut. 

9. What's the  first question at a Chav quiz  night? 
"What you lookin' at?" 

10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a  phone box? 
Paint three stripes on it. 

11. Two Chavs in a car without  any music. Who's driving? 
The police 

12. What do you call a Chav  with 9 GCSEs? 
A liar. 

13. What do you say to a Chav  with a job? 
Can I have fries with that? 

14. What do you say to a  Chav in a suit? 
Will  the defendant please stand 

15. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a  Nova a shame? 
A Nova seats 4 

16. What do you call a 30 year old  chavette? 
Granny. 

17. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a  river? 
A start. 

18. Why did the Chav cross the  road? 
To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.   

19. What do you call a Chav at college? 
The  cleaner. 

20. Two chavs jump off beachy head, who  wins? 
Society