Tiger Woods

[Théière]

[quote user="Weedon"]

You would think, wouldn't you, that if any sports players needed some sort of drug to "liven" them up it would be snooker players.  [/quote]

I seem to remember Alex the hurricane Higgins consume more than chalk during his games, he was pretty lively

[buelligan]

Mmmmm..he was to snooker what Keith Floyd was to cooking.  [:D]

[mint]

[quote user="Weedon"]

During all this week some sort of snooker tournament has interfered with my sleep patterns in front of my television, so it was with some amusement I heard on the news today that the winner of said competition will not only get a substantial cheque, but his own bodyweight in Pukka Pies, the sponsors. Blimey!  I quite like the odd "kate and sidney" but 15 stone of them[+o(]

[/quote]

I thought Pukka Pies have saved themselves a fair few pies as Higgins lost and it was the Chinese man who won (can't remember his name).

I suspect that the Chinese man would weigh considerably less than Higgins who is quite a big boy![:D][:P]

[Gardian]

[quote user="sweet 17"]

I thought Pukka Pies have saved themselves a fair few pies as Higgins lost and it was the Chinese man who won (can't remember his name).

[/quote]

Ding (is his name). 

A nice Pukka Pie with spling onion is a new addition on the menu as No 73 at Telford's China Palace restaurant.   

[mint]

LOL, Gardian, if it's no 73, so be it.  Alors, dix numero soixante treize SVP!  Got to have at least 10 as j'ai faim en ce moment! 

[Weedon]

So there you have it.  Nike are still supporting the Tiger, as they say it was only a blip and everybody has those. Hello Mrs Tiger!  Calm down dear it's only an advert, as the affable Mr Winner would say.

[buelligan]

...is he really affable..?  Or is he a patronising, smug old tw*t....?  Such a fine line....[:D]

[Théière]

A wonderful thing is a Tiger;
A Tiger's a wonderful thing.
Their tops are made out of rubber,
their bottoms are made out of spring
They're bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy,
fun, fun, fun, fun, fun,
The most wonderful thing
about Tigers is:
I'm the only one! [:D][:D][:D]

[Théière]

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her
grades. There is really nothing to do. All the kids are restless because
there is nothing to do and it is near the end of the day.

 

 

The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and  correctly
can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself, "Good, I want to get
outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question".

 

 

The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before
Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln". The teacher
said, "That's right Susie. You can go". Johnny was MAD. Susie answered
first.

 

 

The teacher asked, "Who said, 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny could open
his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King". The teacher said, "That's right
Mary. You can go". Johnny was even MADDER than before. Mary  answered
first.

 

 

The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for  you'?"
Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John Kennedy". The teacher
said, "That's right Nancy . You can go". Johnny was BOILING MAD. Nancy
answered first.

Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, "I wish those bitches
would keep their mouths shut".

 

 

The teacher asked, "WHO SAID THAT?"

 

 

Johnny said, "TIGER WOODS! SEE YOU NEXT YEAR?"