hastobe Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 Proud To Be British......Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.And the most British thing of all?Suspicion of all things foreign!Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.NOT TO MENTION..3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.and finally...In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet pi**ed!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Smith Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 Yup. That looks about right...A quick look at the ROSPA site shows that in 2002 611 people were injured by sewing or knitting equipment, but writing equipment was more dangerous, causing 964 injures. Linen was far more dangerous than either, with 1,288 injured. Clothing or footwear caused a massive 33,000 accidents, ahead of art objects at 5,900! 932 over-75s were injured whilst shopping - though how many of these were assaults by other shoppers in Sainsbury's on a Thursday is not revealed.Fascinating, bizarre stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meg Posted September 7, 2006 Share Posted September 7, 2006 '5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.'HOW?? WHAT?? Were they giant ones?? I can't get my head round that one. Can someone with a scalextric please go and try and hurt themselves with an out of control car?! I'd be intrigued to know if its possible. (And a good injury, not just a little scratch!) I'll try if someone can lend me one. [:D]Louise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catalpa Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 [quote user="louweezel"]HOW?? WHAT?? Were they giant ones?? I can't get my head round that one.[/quote]Maybe it was a foot on one that caused the problem? [Www] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chauffour Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 ..well, i know at least one Italian who almost lost a tumb trying to open a tin of confit de canard.... so you are not alone... [B] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meg Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 [quote user="Chauffour"]..well, i know at least one Italian who almost lost a tumb trying to open a tin of confit de canard.... so you are not alone... [B][/quote]I wonder what the statistics are for that in France???Hows it healing up?Louise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chauffour Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 it's looking better, i started on monday the first of 4 weeks of fisiotherapy... lots of bending and massages to reactivate the blood flow... really painful and lots of electric shocks, but apparently is a good sign!..but tennis is still out for a few months... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fulcrum Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 Testing a nine volt battery on the tongue can kill!? I thought that was the only way to test them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bixy Posted September 16, 2006 Share Posted September 16, 2006 Ah, statistics - the enemy of the politician. For example: nearly 3000 people killed on [so called] 9/11 - a desperate tragedy. Each year in the United States 30,000 people killed by guns - some of them as young as five, both perpetrators and victims. But we won't talk about that, we'll just rant and rave about 9/11 and kill lots of Muslims.Patrick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassis Posted September 16, 2006 Share Posted September 16, 2006 Getting back to the lighthearted side ...REUTERS : PRAGUECzech Republic - A Czech tractor driver died under eight tons of manurein a bizarre accident that has baffled his employers, local mediareported.The34-year old man, identified only as Martin T., suffocated after theload fell on him while he was dumping it in a field near the westernCzech city of Karlovy Vary, news Web Site www.novinky.cz reported onSunday. “It absolutely beats me how this could happen,” said VladimirErps, chief of the company employing the victim.“Thetruck is operated from the tractor cabin, using hydraulics. There wasnothing for him to do under the truck, but it’s tough to blame him nowthat he is dead,” the news site quoted him as saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gardian Posted September 16, 2006 Share Posted September 16, 2006 Happy to be British and more than happy to be living in France, but ................Only in France can:the old boy in front of you in the boulangerie queue be virtually bent double, deaf, with opaque glasses and then shuffle out to his 2CV to drive homeyou be behind the aforementioned old boy for 5kms at 30kph, with missiles (cars) coming at you round every bend in the middle of the roadone's multiple requests for an invoice be met with a resigned shrugfailure to pay that eventually-presented invoice within a (quite) short period, risk a financial penaltyyou want to get some DIY materials on a Saturday and find that at 11.45 (it's got to be the potentially busiest trading time of the week), and find that they're tannoying that "closure for lunch will be in 15 mins"One could go on, but also:the people be as nice as you could meet anywhere in the world and (seemingly) happily immune to national or worldwide events much further than 5kms from their front door Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iain Posted September 17, 2006 Share Posted September 17, 2006 [quote user="Ian Horn"]Happy to be British and more than happy to be living in France, but ................Only in France can:[/quote]you go to a checkout in a supermarket with only one person with a basket in front of you and know - just know - that there'll be a problem which means she (normally) needs to call the back office, call the surpervisor, scan his/her barcoded lapel, type in a security code, get it wrong, have to call the supervisor back again, get the cash office supervisor to check the €100 note, oh I could go on. But I'm used to it now...there are so many rules. That are so routinely ignored... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Smith Posted September 17, 2006 Share Posted September 17, 2006 Oh Iain, why restrict themselves? What about chat for 10 minutes about her in the bakery, not get the purse out until all of the shopping has been transferred into the trolley (international, that one), sign the cheque VERY slowly and carefully, fill in the amount, subtract it from the total, write down the new total, say goodbye (often with bisous) then remember something else that happened at the weekend... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spongebob Posted September 17, 2006 Share Posted September 17, 2006 Ho ho. Love this thread.What aboutStand in a queue at the ONLY open guichet at a mainline station, behind an old couple who need to know EVERYTHING about the trainn they intend to take TOMORROW, while folk with trains to catch in ten minutes fume noisily behind you.Spongebob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Smith Posted September 17, 2006 Share Posted September 17, 2006 International, again.You forget to mention that this is at 7.10 am on a Monday morning, and the 7.12 to Victoria has just been announced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russethouse Posted September 17, 2006 Share Posted September 17, 2006 You should have seen the look on the face of the French head waiter (and very tasty in his own right, too) yesterday while he was interogated at some length about how the Sole Veronique was cooked: poached or grilled ? Grapes peeled or not? If grilled, for how long ? etcHe may have been thinking 'only in England' but I wouldn't bet on it ! [:D][:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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