What would you change in France if you could ?

[Cassis]

[quote user="Jon"]

 the appaling

selection of breakfast cereals. Most of them are 96% sugar and are made

of chocolate. It cannot be healthy for the growing organism.

[/quote]

But they are advertised as 99% fat free, so surely they are good for you?

[Cassis]

[quote user="Weedon"]

Starting today I'd make it impossible for any more brits to come here otherwise in 10 years time it will be ruined.  You mark my words!  We need the rest of them to stay where they are so that they can keep paying in their NI contributions.  My pension doesn't go anywhere these days and as for that winter fuel allowance..well, nuff said.

[/quote]

Quite right, Weedon.  [;-)]

Any Brits thinking of moving over here - forget it.  Go somewhere else.  We don't want you.  Go on, keep walking ...

[The Riff-Raff Element]

[quote user="Cassis"][quote user="Weedon"]

Starting today I'd make it

impossible for any more brits to come here otherwise in 10 years time

it will be ruined.  You mark my words!  We need the rest of

them to stay where they are so that they can keep paying in their NI

contributions.  My pension doesn't go anywhere these

days and as for that winter fuel allowance..well, nuff said.

[/quote]

Quite right, Weedon.  [;-)]

Any

Brits thinking of moving over here - forget it.  Go somewhere

else.  We don't want you.  Go on, keep walking ...

[/quote]

Albania has very few Brits - a couple of hundred I think. They could go

there. Nice countryside, obliging peasantry and very cheap housing. Of

course the blood feuds can be a little wearing. More than once the

contacts we were trying to work with got shot and we had to start all

over again with the newbie, which was quite trying and expensive in

flowers.

I've thought of something else that  annoys the hell out of me:

French newspapers don't burn very well and are useless for starting

fires. The Free Ads are OK, but the actual newspapers just seem to

smolder away uselessly. The same goes for Brit papers printed in

France. We collected a big pile this year from guests with an eye to

the winter and they are hopeless. Imported newspapers seem to be fine.

[Cassis]

[quote user="Jon"]

Albania has very few Brits - a couple of hundred I think. They could go

there. Nice countryside, obliging peasantry and very cheap housing.

[/quote]

And if you tell them you're related to Norman Wisdom you'll be made very welcome.

[Frederick]

I would try and get some of the older tractor drivers to stop driving through the village with their grandchildren sitting straddled on the bonnet ....some two at a time ...the thought of what would happen if one fell off under the wheels does not seem to enter their heads . 

[The Riff-Raff Element]

[quote user="Cassis"][quote user="Jon"]

Albania has very few Brits - a couple of hundred I think. They could go

there. Nice countryside, obliging peasantry and very cheap housing.

[/quote]

And if you tell them you're related to Norman Wisdom you'll be made very welcome.

[/quote]

You're very well informed for a sausage. They call him Pitkin or Fitbin

or something very similar. Enver Hoxa (spelling!) banned practically

all Western cultural imports with the exception of Norman Wisdom films.

Personally, I think that stamps him very firmly as a complete fruitcake.

But can you explain about the newspapers? Is it just me or does everybody struggle with them?

[Cassis]

I've never noticed any problem with the newspaper we buy.  It's a regional rag and probably cheaply produced - maybe the posh papers have a special fireproofing treatment in case their highbrow articles are inflammatory?

Norman's known as Pitkin.  He visited the England team training in Albania in 2001 and got more attention than Beckham.

[The Riff-Raff Element]

[quote user="Cassis"]Maybe the posh papers have a special fireproofing

treatment in case their highbrow articles are inflammatory?

[/quote]

This would make sense. I have, without pricking my conscience too

badly, lifted about 20 copies of the free ads from a dispenser in an

unobserved moment. Should keep us going for a couple of weeks.

[quote user="Cassis"]

Norman's known as Pitkin.  He visited the England team training in Albania in 2001 and got more attention than Beckham.

[/quote]

Now, I didn't know that. Must have been a little painful for Mr B. Did

the WAGS go on that trip I wonder? I can't imagine that they found a

lot to do in downtown Tirana.

[Christine Animal]

There was a programme on last night about a rapist in the Arcachon area.  He terrorised all the women living alone in the area tracking them down and raping over thirty of them.  It took the police fifteen years to catch him.  He got the "maximum" sentence of fifteen years and they think he will probably be out in ten, at only fifty something years of age.   [6]

 

[Missy]

Jon.....

Your signature tune is very ancient..... My Grandfather took extreme pleasure to teach it to his grandchildren with sound accompaniment!!.... Grandmother was not amused in the least as we went round the garden and the house repeating after him, trying our best for sound track!....[:D]

Another one is : J'ai du poil aux pattes, En hiver, Quand j'sais pas quoi faire, j'en fait des p'tites nattes.......... [:D]

[Anton Redman]

I would run amuck with a chain saw removing tills, CB points and anything that took more time to serve you than it takes me to seduce the hostesse de la caisse, have a couple of kids, put them through Bac and retire before I have paid for the goods I want in cash that are in my basket.    

[chris pp]

Oh dear, this may not be popular....

I would get rid of the stupid succession laws and allow people to do what they want with their money and property, simply and easily by way of a will.

I would change the ridicules charges that are imposed on people just because they work.

I would get rid of all the restrictive practises that simply maintain the status quo.

I would have it explained to all French people that the hundred year war has finished and that when Joan was burnt it was just the done thing at the time, nothing personal.

I would make "equal opportunities" a reality.

and....I would get a lot of birds removed from the permitted hunting list and put an end to the barbaric methods that are still allowed in some regions because they are "traditional".

That's just for starters,

Chris

 

[Cassis]

[quote user="Anton Redman"]I would run amuck with a chain saw removing tills, CB points and anything that took more time to serve you than it takes me to seduce the hostesse de la caisse, have a couple of kids, put them through Bac and retire before I have paid for the goods I want in cash that are in my basket.    [/quote]

Have you been invaded by the spirit of another forum member, Anton? 

You're revealing a new side here! [:D]

[quote user="chris pp"]

Oh dear, this may not be popular....

I would get rid of the stupid succession laws and allow people to do

what they want with their money and property, simply and easily by way

of a will.

I would change the ridicules charges that are imposed on people just because they work.

I would get rid of all the restrictive practises that simply maintain the status quo.

I would have it explained to all French people that the hundred year

war has finished and that when Joan was burnt it was just the done

thing at the time, nothing personal.

I would make "equal opportunities" a reality.

and....I would get a lot of birds removed from the permitted hunting

list and put an end to the barbaric methods that are still allowed in

some regions because they are "traditional".

[/quote]

With you on those, Chrispy.  Though we don't get much aggro over the 100 Years War here ...

[Albert the InfoGipsy]

chris pp wrote:

<>

I once sent my French mother in law a spent match, explaining it was a 600 year old family heirloom.

Perhaps the succession laws are a good thing after all!

[The Riff-Raff Element]

[quote user="Missy"]

Jon.....

Your signature tune is very ancient..... My Grandfather took extreme

pleasure to teach it to his grandchildren with sound

accompaniment!!.... Grandmother was not amused in the least as we went

round the garden and the house repeating after him, trying our best for

sound track!....[:D]

Another one is : J'ai du poil aux pattes, En hiver, Quand j'sais pas quoi faire, j'en fait des p'tites nattes.......... [:D]

[/quote]

The teachers, I notice, haven't made much effort to stamp it out...I am pleased it is a traditional number!

[Deimos]

I would change: The way French Insurance companies work (or don't work). Having spent days trying to get a quote for something I have been plagued by policies that look OK but then you ask something and X is not covered or Y is not covered or it covered on Tues afternoon if it was sunny the day before.

Ignoring the aspects and challenges of claiming, its a wonder anybody actually manages to find a policy to start with !!

Ian

[LanguedocGal]

Everything Chris pp states PLUS southern French men in their 40s...[6]  Sorry but had to get that one off my chest! 

I hold impartiality highly but not on this specific point.

Forum moderator, please feel free to delete if my wish to Santa is inappropriate...

[Teamedup]

I have to ask, what is specific to french men in their '40's. If you don't think you can answer on here, please PM me, I am really curious.

[Jonzjob]

[quote user="Bugbear"]

[quote user="cooperlola"]As I fully subscribe to the barely cooked meals bit, how come I can indicate at roundabouts then?[:)][/quote]

but they use that route every day, so you should know that they will be turnng off.............anyway it saves their battery......[:@]

[/quote]

I was told that they were informed by the driving examiner that the use of the electricity when they used the indicators went on their EDF bill!

Priority a droite, BAD news. Aparently it is the cause of most of the accidents here, % wise.

Outside lane on roundabouts is quite handy. When they do that it gives me a chance to go past them on the inside lane. A truck did that for us today, quite handy.

Tailgating is dangerous and stupid!

Closing times, no problem. After all they stay open later.

Katie, English is 'the' official language of the EU. You don't expect our French friends to accept it do you.[:D] Having said that, very much toung in cheek, why should they learn another language to speak to someone who moves over.

Finaly expat clubs. I WOULD BAN THEM!!!

[Bob T]

I have no problem with many of the things mentioned here. I don't mind Monday closing or long lunch breaks. I like the slow way of life where people have time to chat at supermarket checkouts. I find the driving standards fantastic when they see a motorcycle. But the only thing that I would change is the way many Brits come here and think that they can drive their cars on UK plates and aviod any tax if they can.

I know of a fellow Brit who has been here for 4 years, runs a B&B, has a military pension, works on the black for other Brits whilst unqualified or registered and does not have a Carte Vitale as it would cost him money. He does, however, have a French registered car.

I hope that if things were to change then it will happen very slowly, I would hate France to end up the same as the UK with everyone in a rush and Tesco being open 24/7. These are the things that I left behind!

Oh, and as said above, expat clubs, I would ban them too.

[Pun]

The brits who try to bring all the head aches they tried to get away from in the U.K. here to France, and the Brits who have not got the bottle to up and move to France but keep on telling us ex/pats how and why  to live here.

And the Brits who do not want to learn and live the french way of life but come here just for cheaper housing.

[nufan]

I would change my actual boss, and replace him with someone who is keen to pay me triple with mondays and fridays off...!

[The Riff-Raff Element]

[quote user="Bob T"]

Oh, and as said above, expat clubs, I would ban them too.

[/quote]

Bit harsh isn't it? Wouldn't it be more fun to place them (the clubs)

under the control of some umbrella organisation and then take control

of that? Then questionaires could be issued.

"In your own words, please explain the roots of your desire to become resident in France."

Anyone answering either "Tony B-Liar" or "too many immigrants failing

to integrate in the UK" could then be de-bagged and have their bottoms

painted blue prior to being tarred & feathered and thrown in the

canal with weights tied to their feet. That would show them. I feel

this approach would be sure to keep the number of riff-raff polluting

the countryside of France (if not, in the short term, Her inland

waterways) down.

I've thought of something else that is an occaisonal source of vexation

in this household: why the hell is dried fruit sold from the baking

section of the supermarket up to twice the price per kilo of that sold

in the fruit & veg section??? And why did it take me so long to

notice?

[chris pp]

"And the Brits who do not want to learn and live the french way of life but come here just for cheaper housing"

Blimey, that sounds like me, Pun, sorry.

I'm actually serious about that, I didn't come to France for anything else but the chance to buy a place in the countryside with land and a better growing climate. That isn't to say that I'm not involved with "things French", but I have no intention of being anything other than what I am, and others can be what they choose to be.

Chris

[Dick Smith]

"The brits who try to bring all the head aches they tried to get away

from in the U.K. here to France, and the Brits who have not got the

bottle to up and move to France but keep on telling us ex/pats how and

why  to live here."

Sound familiar to anyone?