Do French women often use their maiden name?

[Missy]

I use my maiden for banking as we need to make a distinction between our business account, our savings accounts, OH's account, his family's business account (which we run on behalf of his siblings), his mother's account, our kids own accounts and ... mine. All held at the same branch. All with the same family name on it. In the past it caused endless confusion to staff when calling in to have info on any particular account. As it is a very small town and the family has been here since before the year dot, we just need to poke our head round the corner of the door and the staff on duty immediately pulls out ALL info regardless which I found .... embarrassing... So they know now that with my account bearing my maiden name, not to send info over the counter.

Having said that, it annoys my husband intensely that I use my maiden name, saying 'Why have I changed my name? No married women do so!' to which I reply 'I haven't changed my name! I was born with it! and anyway the town's lady doctor does use her maiden name!' (as together with her husband, she holds the practice)

Furthermore on my French passport I am first : 'Madame with maiden name' and second : 'épouse with married name' ..... and for OH's name to come second.... some uncomfortable male pride/chauvinisme is at play [Www]

 

 

 

[TWINKLE]

I've just worked out that out of 10 of my close girlfriends in France only one of them is married to her partner.  They've all been with their partners between 8 - 20 years and all have children with them. It's very common here not to get married therefore women have their surname for life.

[Just Katie]

Names in Iceland are quite interesting.  A son will take his fathers christian name.  For example, it the fathers name is Michael Johnsson, the son will be given a chosen christian name and will use his FATHERS christian name as a surname such as Magnus Michaelson.  Magnus' son could then be called Andrew Magnusson.

In the event of daughters, the same rule applies except the surname is followed by 'dottir'.  For example, Michael Johnssons daughter could be called Apple Michaelsdottir.

[Danny]

I kept my maiden name after marrying. Before we moved here we opened a bank account in France from the UK -  we put my name down as the 1st applicant, with my husband as the second as it was a joint account. All the paperwork, chequebooks, etc came through with M et Madame 'my maiden name' and weirdly, we never had a problem when my husband signed cheques with his proper name. We have since opened another account here in France and it caused no end of problems when we requested the names we use every day for our account. The computer automatically gave me my husband's name because the 'married' box was ticked. The official documents were printed with my married name and it all had to be altered by higher powers afterwards. We insisted because bank statements are a good proof of residence/ID and useless to me with my married name as no other ID corresponds!

Our son has my husband's name as a surname, and my maiden name as a middle name, rather than being double-barrelled.

I have also come across many unmarried couples with children in France (I would say more than in the UK but that's just those I have come across). In all cases I have seen, the child uses the father's name whilst the wife uses her maiden name.

Jane

[Missy]

[quote user="Jane and Danny"] ....... I have also come across many unmarried couples with children in France ...... In all cases I have seen, the child uses the father's name whilst the wife uses her maiden name. [/quote]

 

My youngest brother is not married to his girlfriend of 10+ years and they had a little boy. My nephew bears his father's name as a surname and no one minds in the least except ... our Mother ! [blink]

[oglefakes]

[Ejc]

I find it weird after using my married name for longer now than my maiden name, that it is often used in official documents and I sometimes need to sign it...... can hardly remember how. When I wen,t to oen a 2nd bank account to handle my work expenses - I had to open it in my maiden name

[Judith]

I kept my maiden name after marrying for the second time, [in England] as getting my own name back again when I got divorced was legally only possible by using a change of name deed, which I felt insulting (considering you can just show a marriage certificate to change your name, surely the converse should apply on divorce, show divorce and birth certificate should be all that is required). In our case double-barrelling made a nonsense of both names so we quickly threw that idea out.  Perhaps unusually for most contributors on this forum I use my maiden name in all instances with the title Miss (and don't start me on titles!) and have never used my second married name which confuses all who do not know us, but allows me to determine if the caller asking for Mrs .... knows us, and take appropriate action.  This highlights the need to have some sort of naming and title convention that does not discriminate either sex, or indeed one's maritial status - in the end you are you and sometimes also by chance happen to be someone's spouse, mother, etc (I use the feminine as in  most cases  it seems to be the woman who is most discriminated against here.)  However since this is all down to culture and attitude, and these are the slowest things to change, I don't expect to see a sensible solution for some time to come.  And - I throughly enjoyed using my own name throughout the purchase procedure and had to make sure that was the name used in all the deeds!  (English agents being notoriously stuck in the English naming tradition in most cases!)

[hoverfrog]

I've also had the "shock-horror" treatment that I still use my ex's name. Of course it doesn't help that we're not married so my name is different to his, and that on all the official records it's my maiden name that counts!

Actually it pleases me when they use my maiden name - Dad was unique in the UK phone-book (although there are quite a few of them in Belgium where the name originated) and was a bit disappointed that with 3 girls there was nobody to carry on the name. Perhaps by moving to France I've done just that!

[TreizeVents]

In the early seventies, when many of my freinds were questioning the surnaming business (and even the first name or "Chrisitan names" as it was then), given the various possibiities for naming children, a number of parents invented a fascinating.  Rather than choosing the name of the father or the mother, double barreling, or inventing some oddball name the kid would have to live with forever, they (I think there were some 20 parents or maybe more) named all the children with the same surname, Wild.  The kids all knew each other too, a bit like cousins.  The parents were fairly close friends.  Of course 30 years or so later, I have no idea what happened, but somewhere in Britain there are quite a few children who are all part of the same "family", called Wild.

[Evianers]

Here in Belgium, almost 100% of women keep their nom de jeune fille. It creates havoc and confusion if a married woman has to be taken to hospital as friends do not always know what this is and therefore cannot find her. Equally, if you are looking for a married woman in a telephone book here, you have to know what her husband's name is before you can find her. I battled for years to retain the right here in Belgium to keep my husband's name and the curious and often uncomplimentary remarks I received had to be seen to be believed. Even the bank 'insisted' I give my maiden name and when I point blank refused to give it, our statements started to arrive addressed to Mr and Mrs Smith-Smith [not our real name]. How daft can you get?

[KathyF]

This has been a fascinating thread and has explained a lot to me. Our cottage in Normandy was bought in my name, which of course we both thought would mean in my married name which I have used for the past 39 years. We were very surprised to find that the house deeds are in my maiden name, even though all correspondance with the notaire was in my married name and our bank account is also in that name.

I've finally managed to get the tax office to use my married name, but it has taken years to do so! The utilities are also in my name and there has been no problem there, but neither of us knew that property transactions by a woman are in her maiden name. A mystery solved....[:)]