idun Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Quite a valid reason for leaving really. I'm wondering when the boredom sets in or was it always there, more or less, manifesting itself in say, being steady and reliable. They being the most important traits my mother believed a man should have and one's I avoided really. I suppose I'm saying, if one's lover is not very 'interesting' to start with, wouldn't it only get worse over the years? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NormanH Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Surely it's boredom that leads to infidelity? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idun Posted September 2, 2011 Author Share Posted September 2, 2011 I was listening to a discussion about that and men apparently liked the excitement of infidelity and didn't say that boredom was a contributing factor to their straying. Whether that is true or not, I don't know, people after all, do lie[:-))] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Val_2 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I think boredom is the killer of marriages here where the couple are either newly retired or work from home.They are just not used to being around each other all day if they previously worked seperately or in a workplace with other people and there is only so much you can go out and do. Not only that, less money to spend if dependent upon UK sources or even french wages can make some people feel agrieved against the other partner whose idea it was to move to France in the beginning. Me, personally, well we have too much to do to be bored and I like the OH about after all those 7 day weeks he did in the UK and quite often here too. It dosn't work for everyone especially if they are the very sociable type always going out with friends etc which we are not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Ice-ni Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 No more or less true than apathy maintaining fidelity.John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAiffricaine Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 [quote user="NormanH"] Surely it's boredom that leads to infidelity? [/quote]How does boredom start ?... From no longer doing things together ? not having enough mutual interests once the family has fledge the nest ? boredom from one part of the 'partnership' of always having to put up with (at first) silly little antic/dislike in the other which become major issues ? financial matters that are never agreed or acted upon ? Infidelity is a manifestation of anger to make the other one face up to his/her silly antics. Infidelity doesn't have to be an affair with another man or woman. It can be just moving to the spare room, no longer eating meals together, only appearing together (if the matter is at a too sensitive stage and best kept private between the 2 protoganists) at a major family event on the calendar, having financial independance, travelling on one's own ... Divorce ?... Mental divorce has been consumated years ago and becomes a mode of survival. Physical divorce is not always possible. The lesser of 2 evils is best so one puts up a public front to show that all is OK ...ish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idun Posted September 4, 2011 Author Share Posted September 4, 2011 My Dad and I were discussing my brother the other day and when he left his first wife. From the exterior it looked like the perfect marriage, but I knew that he was very unhappy and then left. My Dad only saw the perfect couple and the perfect marriage. He never thought me and my husband were suited at all, which just goes to show.Even before my brother's failed marriage, I never trusted perfect marriages, when a couple never had a cross word or disagreement in public and all seemed too good to be true. Ofcourse the odds say that it will happen, the perfect contentment, but it will be a very very rare state. Other couples will simply be putting up the front of contentment for everyone else. If I was unhappy or bored, I'd leave, my best friend would never leave and that is how different we are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAiffricaine Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 It seems that the word infidelity is less used in such situation than the expression being unfaithful.Why is it that only the act of going to bed with another man (or woman) is 'unfaithfulness'. What about persons that have to cope with a gambling partner or a drug addict partner or a drinking partner ?... These people are also suffering of unfaithfulness because their partners are committing the offence of no longer having faith in them, hence the guilty one is seeking some kind of other selfish satisfaction (drugs, alcohol, men, women, gambling) outside of that relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idun Posted September 4, 2011 Author Share Posted September 4, 2011 I agree, there are many ways to be unfaithful and it doesn't alway include being in bed with someone else. And I don't suppose it is being unfaithful, if both are in agreement that someone else's bed can be shared[:)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pickles Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Apparently, having sex is a legally-required part of married life, according to this:http://www.midilibre.fr/2011/09/05/il-n-avait-pas-assez-fait-l-amour-a-son-ex-femme-10-000-eur-d-amende,382321.phpIf you can believe what the newspapers write!RegardsPickles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pachapapa Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 [quote user="Pickles"]Apparently, having sex is a legally-required part of married life, according to this:http://www.midilibre.fr/2011/09/05/il-n-avait-pas-assez-fait-l-amour-a-son-ex-femme-10-000-eur-d-amende,382321.phpIf you can believe what the newspapers write!RegardsPickles[/quote]Maybe but not in a UK Divorce Court, review "Rape in Marriage".French séparation de corps does not exist in english law so communauté de vie and other marital duties not relevant.[:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cooperlola Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 I honestly don't care if my o/h sleeps with other women. The day he bores me though, I'm off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quillan Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 [quote user="Pickles"]Apparently, having sex is a legally-required part of married life, according to this:http://www.midilibre.fr/2011/09/05/il-n-avait-pas-assez-fait-l-amour-a-son-ex-femme-10-000-eur-d-amende,382321.phpIf you can believe what the newspapers write!RegardsPickles[/quote]I always love reading the readers comments. My favorite was "UNE BONNE NOUVELLE POUR DSK!" (Good news for DSK!) and the other was the person who asked "what is the minimum requirement". Got to smile [:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idun Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 It used to be illegal in France for a man to not to be able to get an erection, so there you go, I wonder if that law was ever rescinded? some old laws are not[:D]10.000€, well that has made me smile. I doubt any of my friends in the UK would believe that if I told them. In fact there are quite a few things I tell them that make them look at me in an old fashioned way, they don't realise that I'm not clever enough to make this stuff up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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