great translation booboos

[odile]

when I first came to thw UK in 1970, I made some VERY embarrassing 'faux-pas' with my use of English- Tell us about your French versions...

[Lou]

Not actually mine but from friends (honest)

A friend asked his insurance company to insure his "cuisine" to drive his car (meaning his cousin of course)

An acquaintance baffled the concierge of a building as he did his good deed for the day and reported that a yellow "citron" (meaning Citroen) was in the car park with it's lights on

Another friend asked for a "cravate" of wine in a restaurant

None really embarassing, just amusing, I'm sure there will be better ones coming along!

Lou

[odile]

my husband Hedley could never pronounce 'u' - which always turned out as a 'ou' - until we arrived for dinner at some posh friends of my parents. When asked how he was, he replied ' pas mal mais j'ai un peu mal au cul' - perfect pronunciation for first time - he actually had a sort throat!

[yetagain]

My sister made a great one when she first moved to France. She announced that ther was a dog breeder locally as she had seen a sign "chien mechant" I dined out one that for a while.

[Gastines]

Friends taking some home-made jam to a neighbour,advised them that there were no "Preservatives" in it!!

Regards.

[Nickel]

Asking at the poissonerie if they have any "mackerel"

[Callie]

When I handed out some K-Ways to our first aid team, I said "Tous les secouristes peuvent porter des cagoules"

[brianagain]

Some years ago I enquired of the proprietor of a gite we were renting if she required a pig, much to her amusement.

My pronunciation of une caution (deposit against breakages, etc) was mispronounced and heard as un cochon.

Brian (again)

[tinabee]

Early conversations with our neighbours:

What we wanted to say - do you like to eat andouille?

What we thought we said: "voulez-vous aimer manger andouille?"

What they heard: "voulez-vous aimer manger enduit?"

What we wanted to say - we like to cook spicy food.

What we thought we said - "Nous aimons cuire avec l'épice"

What they heard: "Nous aimons cuire avec le p*ss"

 

[Mr Coeur de Lion]

When I went to pick up my car, I told the car salesman "Je suis tres jolie". I thought I was saying I am very happy.

Lynda once said Bonjour Madam to a Monsieur.

I said "Je ferme mes yeux" with my hands over my ears.

Too drunk to think of anymore at the moment.

But it's a laugh, innit?

[Kim]

My husband, who continues to this day to have a incredible accent, was once brought a plate of butter when all he wanted was a beer (he had to insist several times to get the butter). 

[Kitty]

Mon pull - my jumper (with the 'u' difficult to pronounce)

Ma poule - my hen

I was trying to ask a family for my jumper but instead said: Ou est ma poule?

[5-element]

OH wanting to say that someone (a man) was a teacher: "Il est enseigneur" (instead of "enseignant").

 

[Martin963]

I asked tenderly after a friend's "chenille" - she had recently hurt her ankle  (cheville),  not her caterpillar.

A Dutch friend told us (in English) that "the monkeys are making a lot of noise this year"; - unaware that we had monkeys in our part of 24 we played along with her by asking questions that we hoped would enlighten us as to what she could hear - in the end she snapped - "you know - Hee Haw,  Hee Haw",  at that point the penny dropped,  making us realise how hard working most French people are at second guessing our errors.

The local doctor asked an Irish friend during a consultation about her "selles" - she replied that she used very little in the cooking.   She still shudders at the memory.

Finally - in trying to distinguish one woman from the others in a distant group so that a French friend could identify her,  I referred to the fact that she was the only woman with "les jambes ecartées"   In fact according to our (somewhat innocent) dictionary I was entirely correct in saying this,  but judging by his public collapse at this remark I think one had better not say "a woman with her legs spread" in future.

[David_Janet]

I once told a waiter, when offered more cheese that I was "pleine" - meaning full up.  I knew you said "la pleine" when you wanted a garage to fill your car with petrol so I naturally thought I was on safe ground.  Imagine my horror when it appeared I had announced to nearby diners and to the waiter that I was pregnant (used for animals only!).  It was even more amusing considering I was obviously well past child bearing age.

[Callie]

A lot of English people have difficulty pronouncing the tight-lipped "u" in French and come out with "oo". The run the serious risk of saying they like "jus d'orange avec poulpe" instead of "jus d'orange avec pulpe".

i.e. instead of saying they like orange juice with bits (pulp) in it, they like orange juice with squid in it ! !

[Ron Avery]

In the same vein of the problem of not making the exact French sound, I told my neighbour "mon chat a mangé deux sourires hier"

No wonder he smiled. I thought I was talking about mice.[:D]

[DZ]

My husband went to a restaurant with our daughter and asked the waiter if the cake she was being served had any Allemands in it, as she is alergic to almonds!  The waiter just stood there, scratching his head in incomprehension...

Thank you to the person who has started this funny thread!

[odile]

by the way   'je suis plein/e'  usually means that your are drunk!

[odile]

any funny stories about French friends who got it seriously wrong 'tother way round'? When I visited my future parents in law in the UK, there was a downhill ski race on the telly - future father in law said he could not understand the sport and the skills needed to win! So I dutifully explained that as well as skill it was about who farts the best! As he seemd bemused, I went on to explain that they had to take account of the type of snow, temperatureetc, and then fart accordingly. He seemed really confused, so my explanation got even more technical- until he called future husband to explain we had a bit of a language problem - THEY all thought it was very funny ahahaha!   (farter = to wax skis)

[Llantony]

A friend caused a laugh when she assumed that if a puppy is a chiot, a female puppy would be a chiotte (sh*tter) which the dictionary says is rude!

Not exactly translation but my husband confused our neighbour by talking about a bird called a zool.  He'd looked up 'magpie' and the word next to it was zool. i.e. zoological.  She said, oh you mean 'une pie'.

We live not far from Montcuq.  Visitors sometimes don't pronounce the q so it sounds in French like 'my arse'.  The locals find it very funny.  (To quote Blackadder: 'The long winter evening must just fly by').

The dangers of small dictionaries:  a friend wanted some sort of seal for a window and popped down to the quincaillerie and asked for a 'phoque' (the animal).  Made worse when she realise what it sounded like and got the giggles.

 

 

[Dick Smith]

I once informed Avis that I had burst a nude person.

How was I to know that the French always pronounce the 'p' of pneu?

[Will]

I make plenty of mistakes, but one by somebody else that I remember was some Germans in a restaurant who were struggling over the menu, the word 'peche' in particular, and couldn't work out why fish was being served for dessert.

 

[Albert the InfoGipsy]

I've always wondered what's so sinful about fishermen.

[odile]

les chiottes = the bog! When we used to ski in the Verbier area our girls used to love going to a slope called 'les chottes' - and they used to giggle like crazy by saying they were going skiing in 'les chiottes'! As far as the dangers of small dictionaries- my husband was driving overnight to Switzerland and his headlights broke down. he looked in the dictionary and found 'avez-vous des allumettes, for ' have you got a light. so at 3am in the middle of France he stopped at a garage and rang the bell. The very irrate garage owner openened his stutters and shouted that he was closed ... to which my future husband replied 'vous devez m'aider, mes allumettes sont cassees et je me marie demain' - reaction was not very pleasant - my in the end the guy came down, repaired the lights - and ... no we didn;t get married the next day as I broke my leg 30 minutes after his arrival. the rest is history, as they say.