Im thinking of giving up the gites.

[Russethouse]

The only people I know who do this are Americans who now live in France.

I came across a lady transporting her cats from Paris to Quimper via the TVG  in mesh bags, but they were free to roam while we were travelling....

[Wendy_S]

Last year, we had two different sets of guests arriving with cats.  It was explained to us that they are appartment cats (they lived in Paris) and that they put leads on them in the car, so that they can get some exercise when the owners are driving, not so that they can go out for walks!  Might explain some of the eratic French driving in Paris!

Wendy

 

[dave21478]

I was beginning to think that the couple for the small gite today would be a "no show" as there was no sign of them and no answer on the number they gave me, until they phoned about 11pm - he had been delayed at work and their new ETA is somewhere between 4 and 5 am. I told him I would leave the door unlocked and a few lights on and he could sort himself out.

Just as well I didnt spend all evening waiting in for them to show up instead of going to a nice meal......oh, wait......I did.  [:(]

 

[Cendrillon]

[blink] Have they arrived?

[dave21478]

Yes, they tuned up at 8 oclock this morning. Seemingly, they were en-route at 11pm when they phoned me. By my calculations and what they said this morning, it took them slightly over 12 hours to get here from Paris.....I know Clio diesels are not built for speed, but thats very slow indeed.

Anyway, they slept all of today and have just left in search of a restaurant.[:)]

[just john]

[quote user="dave21478"]

 Just as well I didnt spend all evening waiting in for them to show up instead of going to a nice meal......oh, wait......I did.  [:(]

[/quote]

and dare I ask what was on the menu of the meal you missed Dave? or is it in the dog?[:)]

[mint]

[quote user="dave21478"]

Anyway, they slept all of today and have just left in search of a restaurant.[:)]

[/quote]

What, didn't you offer to rustle up something for them to eat?  [6]  I thought you were the gîte owner who always goes the extra mile?[:D]

[dave21478]

Well, they left today and I was quite disappointed. Today was the first time I have had to keep an entire security deposit due to the mess guests have left.

They were a young couple in their 20`s from Paris and they left it in a really manky state. I expected an argument from them about the deposit, but they didnt seem fussed. infact, as they left they said they liked it here so much, they would see about coming back later in the season. I think we are fully booked that week.[;-)]

Food and crumbs everywhere to the point that ants have taken up residence in the kitchen, empty packets all over the house, bathroom in an unspeakable state and a general stench of filth. The crowning glory was the selection of used condoms in the bedside cabinet.[+o(]

[bubbles]

Well, at least they won't be procreating then.

[mint]

And they didn't chuck them down your loo, clogging up your drainage system!  Surprising how considerate some folks are.....................

[AnOther]

You know you love it really Dave [;-)]

[dave21478]

What I definately dont love is busting my nads to get everything ready as quickly as possible, then realise the next guests dont arrive till tomorrow.

Curses.

Just had a thought too - I dont always remeber to check in the bedside cabinets when doing changeovers - maybe the used jimmies were from previous renters?[6]

[Northender]

[quote user="dave21478"]

Food and crumbs everywhere to the point that ants have taken up residence in the kitchen, empty packets all over the house, bathroom in an unspeakable state and a general stench of filth. The crowning glory was the selection of used condoms in the bedside cabinet.[+o(]
[/quote]

 

I've had to deal with soiled nappies in the bedroom waste bin and unused condoms in the bedside cabinet but I think your surprise was about as bad as it gets.

 

[bubbles]

I think Dave's guests had a better holiday than yours then!

[Scooby]

Our worst was a couple who didn't wash a dish during their entire stay - despite having a dishwasher. When they left the dishwasher was full, as was a double belfast sink - they had worked there way through an entire china 12 place setting dinner service - and a 12 place setting  plastic 'dinner service' (intended for picnics).  The sinks were thick with grease that we had to 'spoon' out of the sinks before we could clean them.  The heirloom quilts had been used as doorstops, furniture moved around etc.  The en-suite bath and bidet were full of discarded make up remover pads, dirty tissues, used sanitary towels, empty bottles etc etc.  It took a full day to clean the house. 

We're now a strictly friends and family house.

[Wendy_S]

Surely no one can be this bad, are you sure it was not just a bad dream! Just out of interest what nationality were they?

[Wibblywobbly]

I think that this has to go down as the longest and most entertaining thread that I have ever read anywhere in my many, many years on t'internet.

Bearing in mind that I have a place in France that I am half thinking of renting out (though now seriously thinking of using a rental company) it should have been giving me nightmares!

Thanks

Rob G

[Scooby]

[quote user="Wendy_S"]Surely no one can be this bad, are you sure it was not just a bad dream! Just out of interest what nationality were they?[/quote]

American - their excuse was that they were used to having a live in maid who did everything for them!  I felt very sorry for the maid if that's what she had to deal with everyday!

[dave21478]

If you ever realise that the slightly iffy smell in the kitchen of your smaller gite is coming from the fridge which has been unplugged for two weeks, and you realise that you never checked the fridge when the last guests left 2 weeks ago, then opening that fridge will reveal some interesting mould patterns, and the smell will get significantly worse. The plastic bag at the bottom full of  black liquid was probably carrots two weeks ago.

However..

Dont ever be tempted to try cleaning that fridge with a quick skoosh of over cleaner, simply because its the first tin that you found in the cupboard. The result is likely to be a slightly melted plastic fridge interior, with those interesting mould patterns forever embedded into it. This will result in an ear-bashing for your stupidity and laziness (deserved) and a rather more expensive than planned trip to town with the van, to buy a new fridge.

[:$]

[dave21478]

Just in time for the really busy period, I injure my neck and find myself sporting a neck brace, with restricted movements making me look like a cross between Robocop and a Thunderbirds puppet. Great.

[bubbles]

Excellent.

It will give your guests something to remember and tell their friends about.

As long as you're not in pain it will be fine.

Bit hot though I would guess

[AnOther]

[quote user="bubbles"]Excellent.

It will give your guests something to remember and tell their friends about.[/quote]Why not introduce yourself as Basil for added effect [;-)]

[dave21478]

Well, the neck pains are much reduced, but the pain in my side is refusing to go away and has been re-diagnosed as cracked ribs.

The other pain in my side - the guests - are refusing to go away too. Sadly, the current lot in the big gite are the first really, genuinely unlikeable people I have had here. I have moaned and ranted a lot here previously, but its all been pretty light-hearted, but this lot....I really do dislike them.

One of the chaps looks like a slightly younger Mika Hakkinen, and his wife has a face like a slapped ar5e - a premanent red scowl on her chops has effectively conveyed her disapproval of...well...everything. Overheard moans have included - Its too hot, the roads are too narrow and twisty, its too far from town, its too far from the city, there is nothing to see, there is nowhere to go, its too dusty, its too quiet, there are no street lights, the tractors make too much noise, there are too many flies.....the list goes on. I wonder exactly what she was expecting from a countryside gite, openly advertised as remote and isolated. The other couple they are sharing with are just as bad - the chap looks like a typical thug with beergut hanging over shorts, sunburn and a foul mouth. His wife is about the same.

Between the two couples, they somehow have 5 kids here. Maths was never a strong point of mine, but 4 adults and 5 kids in a gite that sleeps seven should be presenting some space issues, no? They stated 7 on their contract, and I counted 7 out of the cars on arrival, so im not too sure where the extras have come from. Makes no difference to me though, im not the one sleeping on a couch, and these kids are nasty little turds, regardless of how many of them they are. Litter, bad language and a complete lack of respect for other peoples property has seen them trampling through gardens (my own flower garden and my 86 year old neighbours veg garden) and leaving a mess in their wake. The one upifting moment I have witnessed was when the older kids, 10 - 12 years old, decided that badminton was a boring game when played with shuttlecocks and would be much more interesting using large stones. Two cracks in quick succession announced the stones making impacts in daddys windcreen and a younger siblings head. The kids responsible werent keen on sitting down for a while after receiving their punishment.[:D]

[Scooby]

One of the requests of our 'most favourite guests' (see comments in previous posts) was to ask if we could get the cows in the nearby fields moved!!  I kid you not.  We did try to explain that the word 'rural' was normally associated with 'farming' but to no avail.  When our neighbour and farmer had stopped laughing................

[Wendy_S]

Well I just hope your same guests do not decide to stay here next year, as we also have cows in nearby fields as well as a friendly donkey that likes to talk to people very loudly and a few tractors. [:)]