Chancer

There was a thread in another place by a first time poster, pretty much as Leven said, naive person that I am I did not twig that it could have been a wind-up or think of you but someone must have done because it was taken down.    If it was you then it was one of your best, if it wasn't then you have serious competition [:D]

Exactly what Dave says re the depot de ventes around here, always opening and going bust, you would think people would realise that its so last century and have more imagination, dont get me wrong I miss them but each one that opens becomes a personal Financial disaster for the owners and their families who are the guarantors, and thats gets a bit closer to explaining why so many obviously non viable businesses open and then go bust.   The banks have one sole aim, to lend money to good risks and by doing so leverage more non existant money to make further loans with, the seed capital for this is the funds of you and I which if we are Lucky might bring in 0.1% but can be lent at 10% and generate further ethereal money to lend.   But how could a brocante or another equally unviable business be a safe risk for a lender? It isn't and the banks dont give a 4X in fact they want them to fail so that another muppet can come along and borrow money to commit Financial hari-kari, they have the extended family on the hook as guarantors, the business plan etc is just a hook to lend money which is their raison d'être.   Same story for the cash convertor shops be they in the UK or here, they dont give a monkeys for the stuff they have in the window, behind each piece of tat is some unfortunate who has borrowed money against it at an usurious rate.   The charity shops that do do well are those supported by massive subventions with a much more altruistic intention of réinsertion, we have one like that here where I buy furniture to give a scabby chick re-looking so that a future generation can strip off all the hideous chalk paint (super cheap in Action) and say "can you believe some pr@t in the noughties (that would be me) could deface this lovely dark hardwood piece of furniture in such a way

That thread has no dissapeared, was it a wind-up?   Was it yet another reincarnation of ALBF?   Did I miss anything interesting?

[quote user="Leven"]ALBF how is the wife, was it the Skoda she used and have you found an Inglish speaking Lawyer yet LOL[/quote]   That must be one of your best Leven [:D]   I think that the genders may need to be reversed though, on second thoughts maybe not.  

Colle polyuréthane will do the job, this time last year in freezing conditions my tenant drove her car into the brick edged block paved infilled front step, knocked the top row of masonry clean off on both sides of the corner, gave it the foaming poly glue treatment as cement mortar would freeze in the conditions and its still rock solid a year later, I have coping stones on other walls I did the same to 20 years ago and they are still fine, the ones I re-mortared would last max 2 years.   You get good suction on a ridge tile but at this time of year nothing beats an external foaming polyurethane glue, try to get one in a mastic gun cartridge.

I am hoping that the commercial blackmail situation will resolve itself in the 9 months I have remaining on the €1 per month vente privée deal.   If another one comes up its a cheap way of trying it out and you can cancel at any time, like you I knew nothing about tablettes and Smartphones and I still will never use the smartar5e thing as a phone, something it is completely nul at, but being able to use it as a Wi-Fi hotspot in the UK was a revelation, I have never had such fast and bug free internet access, supposedly slower than my ADSL but in practice much faster.

Its a long answer I'm afraid Norman.   If you are close to a Free 4g mast (and most are) = metropole/large town then you are laughing, speeds which you cannot imagine!   However the minute it switches to Orange on itinerance they slow you down to less than dial up speed, I get 20 kb/s, in an eare of overlapping signals = most places if the Orange signal is stronger than the Free one it will switch automatically to Orange despite the fact that a weaker Free 4g signal will give you 1000 times higher internet speed than the throttled Orange one.   Cross the border into any other country and the EU itinerance comes into play, my Free carte is superb in the UK but hopeless in troudeculdemondeland.   All of the data I have used in France has been on Speedtest, I can drive for hours trying to connect to the Free antennes that I know are there and it will stick with Orange, I can drive 50km to Arras, through y local town where there is a Free antenne and it sticks on Orange 3g and most of the time will not even connect, get to Arras, force the phone onto Free and get 100Mb/sec download, I can then drive all the way back and it will stay with Free as there are antennes on the route, weak signal but superb speed compared to Orange, then 100m from where I live the signal drops out and I am stuck with Orange.   Sometimes I can get a free connaction across the road but my problem is compounded by the fact that Orange have a 3g Femtocell in the Airbus factory opposite.

Idun, said person knows very well I no longer like going to pubs, I see too many reminders of my former self [:D].   He rarely drinks and has never in 40 years given me Xmas  or new years greetings and also like you he now rarely drinks and mostly in moderation so I'm fairly sure he must have been bien arrosé!   The deluge of textos from the French is a real problem though, in the spirit of the other thread about giving la bise I am going to spend January as an exception just to re-inforce that as an etranger I really dont get it and so they will continue to humour my avoiding the kissy-kissy handshake thing for the rest of the year. For the whole of January I am going to wish everyone meilleur vouex every time I see them not just once, I will faire la bise with every woman in the running club but on the lips and I will kiss every guy on the cheek, then after doing everyone I will do the same again with half of them [:D]   After a month of being kissed and wished meilleur vœux twice each meeting they will be glad when I return to my normal self [:P]

Yes thanks, I did the same and found the same.   I currently have a Free €20/15 per month sim for €1 per month for a year just to get used to a smartphone while retaining my 2004 Nokia with my zero cost Free sim for use as a phone, I have a tiny bit of data included in the free Free one but have found its of no use where I live so I will not be retaining it at the end of the 1st year.   At least i know now for a little bit more than it would have cost had it worked I could have a really fast Orange connection through Sosh, if the price falls I might get one, it would be good to have a standby for if the ADSL fails or for when I have a lot of customers gobbling up the connection.

Lucky above all to have a huge number of friends and acquaintances who keep in touch with you.   This year I recieved 50% more PV's than Xmas cards [:-))]   En revanche le réveillon was une nuit blanche with a constant stream of long and flowery textos coming through to my phone from 2am throught to 7am, all sent in the seconds after midnight, all but one I have no idea who they are from as apart from my coiffeuse all these I am guessing snowflakes dont see the need to give their name and guessing again send a cut n paste greeting to their whole contact list.   I also got one from the UK, at precisely 23.00 CET (no delay at that time) the person giving their name and clearly drunk because they said that we must go out for a beer soon, I have been teetotal for 5 years!

I know how to say grace in French in several different ways also, that can be quite an asset if you are invited to eat with a strong religious family.   Dont tell them that you are a Hatter though, mad, brown or any other kind [6]

Peace be with you  ANother [:D]   Like you I had never been to mass, mess or Sunday service but my last girlfriend was devouée so I would go to mess with her, on a visit to the UK we went to my local C of E Church Sunday service and it was little different, peace be with you, la paix soit avec vous et al.   Taking her there was memorable, she was a very educated girl and I guessed she must have studied English at a high level, she never spoke it to me although a couple of times when I didnt understand  she would substitute an English word, often very advanced vocabulary which gave me an inkling,.   During the UK visit she did not utter a word to any of my friends and family only a stunted yes or no in reply. After the service the vicar asked her if she had enjoyed it, did she understand all or any of it and I was truly gobsmacked when she replied at length in perfect English, far better than my French is even now.

So how much a month is the contract for the 40Go ?   What network does it use? I hope that you are going to say Orange because they have a good 4g signal here, I am just outside of the "all I can eat" reception with Free and it switches to Orange who bride the download to 20kb/s which is useless, my cutomers with Orange carte sims get 100Mo/s on 4G [:-))]   Do Sosh do PAYG mobile data sim?

A very clear dialogue though, good enunciation, one of the few French broadcasts that I could listen to without watching.   Did not hear him make any reference to Brexit unless it was in the first minute or so that I missed or perhaps I lost concentration like ALBOF.   The real talking point for me was what on earth was the weather bimbo that came on afterwards wearing on her legs? [:-))]   Even a 16 year old would not get away with that, she looked like one of the hookers in Pretty Woman.   Bring back Evelyn Dheliat please!

If you are embarrassed and find la bise difficult then hold out your hand, stand your ground and retain your dignity and distance.   In any case you should never be giving la bise to someone that you address as vous.   It gets blurred in clubs, social groups, work colleagues etc where the norme is to tutoyer but it is still entirely acceptable to offer your hand, it also makes you own the situation and the Relationship will be on your terms.   For me it is a colossal waste of time, in my diving club there were around 40 people would turn up to the pool sessions, it was written that we had to arrive 30 minutes before so as to get to the changing rooms for 20.00 when they were opened, trouble is 40 people means 1560 kisses/handshake shared and it would take at least 45 minutes of mindless euuhhing and bises made much worse by those who would always arrive late but still insist on kissing everyone.   If you arrive late, and the Maire in question and myself do this purposely its actually bad politesse to greet everyone individually whether it be a handshake or bise, you should greet everyone collectively in a loud voice waving both hands at them all. The French do it with an apologetic "I'm so sorry" look on their face I do it proudly.   My running club sessions are just as bad, not so many people but loads of persistant late arrivals that want to be the centre of attention, at this time of year I can get hyperthermic whilst waiting, I used to run around the piste to keep warm while all the Muppets turned up and would  get in at least an extra 5km over the session, for this reason I changed clubs to one with a locale so at least I could stay warm while people do what they believe is expected of them, trouble is the noise drives me outside in the cold now [:(] I gain between 30 and 45 minutes 3 times a week by my strategy, thats a lot of time over a lifetime, I get away with it because I am l'etranger.   The new proviseur at the lycée where I used to teach had come from Papeete IIRC, she refused point blank to give la bise or shake hands and would also not respond to anyone who greeted her with a bonjour and outstretched hand, she just got down to the business of what the person wanted, it was really badly recieved by all my colleagues but I got her completely and respected her enormously.

I came across several massive fly posters for FREXIT in Amiens metropole this morning.   Looked like a political campaign but I forgot the web address.

[quote user="woolybanana"]Yes it is going to be phased out over several years for about 80% of folks; whether you pay or not depends on income. I think 23000 euros p a may be the plafond. But don’t worry, some other tax will be along to make up for it![/quote]   Not income but revenu fiscal de reference (RFR) which can be a lot different, 3.5 times less in my case.   Being phased out over 3 years, very much doubt that second home owners will get the exemption, the real question is what will replace it, I believe that the taxe d'hab will rise massively for those who will have to pay.

[quote user="alittlebitfrench"] You can walk around Paris or any other major city and you would think everything is fine in France. [/quote]   When I walk around Paris I truly believe that I have been transported to another country and not because of all the conversations carried out in English with many different accents in La Défense.   Even driving through or around its the same feeling especially after 19.00, between 12.00 and 14.00 or on a Sunday. 

Debra.   That was the first reasoned justification I have seen for applying for a C.D.S. and makes complete sense.

BiB.   You are bang on the money, TBF I think he does deep down realise that all his antics are a cry for help, he rarely denies any of the IMO truer accusations levelled at him and he has my respect for that.   Like me he lives in une cage d'orée, unlike me he does not hold the keys.

You've been doing it all wrong Mint, if you invite someone for Xmas dinner you must not bring out the first course till at least half an hour after midnight on the 24th, the preceeding hours are to be spent drinking loads, having multiple servings of amuses bouches and smoking.   When you bring out the onion soup they will know its time to go.   Xmas budget 2017 chez Chancer unchanged from 2016, also 100% more and 100% less.

A unique blend of incompetence and insouciance characterised by hausser les épaules.

Macron. ALBF and ALBOF.   Two are assets, one is a liability[:P]

Well it certainly applies to Eurotunnel crossings, or they would have you believe by the sheer volume of scary reminders that they send you telling you that unless you submit full Advanced Passenger Information (API) for all passengers you will be at the minimum delayed and may not be able to travel.   I've lived in France long enough to smell a scare tactic intended in lieu of anything concrete to achieve compliance by 99% and so did my usual and ignored all the hoop jumping invitations, I have travelled dozens of times without giving any API, never delayed and most of the time without my passport even being perused except for the time when I took French friends on a €20 E/T day return, I let them book it to give them experience and confidence to perhaps go on their own the next time (some hope!) they were panicked and insisted on giving the API I refused to give mine, they got the 3rd degree at border control, I was ignored, my passport at that time had been expired for nearly a year.   I suspect its the same story with the Airlines, the rules say that they must request the info, probably youman rights say they dont have the right, they ask for it, collate it if given and they have done their bit, I would not take the risk on a flight though and would give the info.

And non of these people are popular because of the 'good works' done on their behalf by their marketing people as a useful tax-dodge How does that work then Norman?   Now that I feel rich compared to previous years then I feel that I must do the same as the others, slight problem being that I have yet to pay impôts [:D] I did actually earn enough but they applied a décote thus denying all the charities [:(]   But hey, I'm sure the celebs you scorn dont actually pay any money out, they just get their marketing people to do good works on their behalf to dodge their taxes for them.   I dont like marketing people so how about I give my time to charities, become an ambassador for them, let them use my famous name, set up and champion a new good cause like restos du cœur, how can I dodge taxes by doing that and how can your celebs dodge taxes by getting others to do it for them?