Alan Zoff

The ins and outs definitely require expert advice but, for those who might risk exceeding the allowance, I wonder if the answer is to look at creating a pension fund to hold say the UK assets. I know there are companies who will provide self-invested pension fund "wrappers" - but beyond that I have no information so don't expect the expert advice to come from me!  I can well imagine that a property retained in the UK will often be regarded, to all intents and purposes, as the "pension".

As a number of countries now share information with UK about bank interest paid to individuals, it's a fair bet that other information is shared. But unless the asset in the UK produces some taxable income (e.g. is rented out), perhaps unlikely that it will be picked up in this way. Depends I suppose on how far the French taxman takes an investigation. Self-assessment in the UK is seen by some as a chance to leave details off the tax return. The problem arises when the Revenue do a full investigation and find you out. You will then get clobbered with hefty penalties (double the tax lost), interest and - in the most serious cases - a potential prison sentence! It's then that declaring the income in the first place might not have been such a bad idea after all. But whether the same applies in France......

This joke sent to me today seemed pertinent: A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the young handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."  She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that but:  No.1, you have to be single and  No.2, you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!" "OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?" "Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."

If slicing off a trunk, make sure the remainder - and the surrounding large roots - are left well below ground level. A good way to kill an expensive lawnmower is to run over the forgotten remains of a tree.... When removing trees from the garden of our English home, we were fortunate to have access to the JCB that was digging trenches for an extension. It made light work of yanking out large tree stumps and roots which meant we could be sure the problem had gone for ever. (The power of a JCB is awesome - some of the roots were under a neighbours old shed which was also destroyed in the process but thankfully he had been meaning to take it down!) I wish I could get hold of a JCB in the French village for an hour or so. I'm still trying to work out how best to deal with the stumps from several large conifers that were felled last year - the chap who helps with the garden seems reluctant to try to dig them out with his tractor bucket and he can't get his hands on a JCB.

The programme-makers always feel the need to build in some kind of "will they, won't they" drama when making this type of programme. Invariably, they edit it so that disaster seems inevitable but, funnily enough, the participants always just scrape through. Whether it's doing up a house in the UK or starting a business abroad, or both, they're always down to their last penny when another huge bill arrives. But then we learn they somehow had overlooked the emergency savings account or the loaded parents (or fee from the TV company) or whatever. As you do. And miraculously, the cameraman is always in just the right place when the big news breaks. For some reason I've just brought to mind Kent Walton and wrestling on Saturday afternoon TV.  My very mild-mannered Mum would have attacked Mick McManus in the street had she met him on Sunday morning after the unspeakable things nasty Mick (or his mate Jackie Pallow) had supposedly done to one of those nice Royal brothers. Yeah, of course it's all for real. And my wife accuses me of being a sceptic.

Or you can try the following link: http://fr.weather.com/common/home/localweather.html The actual pressure will be changing of course but if you enter your location on the web page and then reset the moving needle on your barometer soon after the info has been updated, it should be close enough for domestic use. As I think someone has already said, it is the way the barometer shows movement in pressure that tends to be of most interest.

Can't say that I'm overly bothered about how much the agent takes. It's the bottom line that concerns me. If the inclusive price is acceptable, then I'm happy. All my negotiations through the immobilier concerned the total price inclusive of all commissions, notaires fees and taxes. And when we completed, that was exactly what I had to pay to the Notaire - not a penny more. If all agents worked on that basis it would I think make things much easier for purchasers.

When I asked my friend - in a very rural part of France - who describes himself as a wine connoisseur what he thought of Australian wines, he said he had never tasted any - nor Californian, South African, Chilean. etc. I said then he could claim only to be a connoisseur of French wine, rather than of wine in general. To which he replied: "It's the same thing". Not that he is narrow-minded or anything. (In fact, he a super bloke but just, well, very French.)

Thanks for the replies. It will be nice to get something for free from an electricity company.

The test button on my disjoncteur box (the first box leading to the consumer unit - the one with the main on/off switch and its top half sealed by EDF) does not work. For good measure, I have fitted an additional earth lead to the consumer unit (the original was the skinniest earth wire I have seen and seems simply to have been pushed into the ground - I have now buried a decent earthing rod and connected it up with 10 mil earth cable) but pressing the test button still does nothing. Does this fall within my responsibility to put right if the box is faulty or does the box belong to EDF? The box is 30A. Will EDF charge me to upgrade it - say to 80 or 100A? It copes with the loads at present but I suspect that higher loads will be added in future.

I travelled to Nevers by train from Paris twice a year or so ago, once after Eurostar trip from Waterloo and once after flying in to CDG. (For me, the Eurostar option was by far the better of the two, apart from hassle of getting to and from Waterloo.) I may have forgotten, but I don't recall having to change on the underground between Gare du Nord and Gare de Lyon. In any event, it didn't take long to transfer between the 2 stations and the trips between Paris and Nevers were extremely efficient. (Also good value car hire at Nevers station if prebooked.) If only Eurostar started from Cheltenham....

When I asked if I might qualify for a reduced Dechetterie charge as I was only occupying the house for a short time each year, I was told there were indeed 2 rates of charge depending on occupancy. The first was the standard rate I had been charged; the second was twice the standard rate for a "second home". She said she would reclassify it as a second home if I wished or we could pretend I hadn't raised the subject.... Eh, what subject was that?

12 foot wide oak tree? It's not this forum you need, but Guinness Book of Records. If this was a serious post but with wrong size for the tree, I would definitely favour keeping the tree unless there are other very good reasons for getting rid of it. A net will catch the leaves. Or if it's a small ornamental pond, perhaps you could consider filling it in and digging another one elsewhere - it's in the wrong place beneath a large tree  

I'm in Allier and have mainly used BigMat for materials. They seem to have depots in Limousin, too. Try: http://www.bigmat.fr/frontoffice/admin_accueil/rech_carte_pdv.asp 

We seem to have moved from Sonic Mouse Deterrent to Supersonic Cat Deterrent. Perhaps the answer is for someone to design a sonic device that looks like a cat. Dragons' Den, here I come. 

Hey, who are you calling a cat-hater? I don't hate them - I just don't want one. Of course they are doing what comes naturally. But as the pet cat is usually well fed by its owner, it's not exactly doing it to survive. (Whoops. We'll be back onto the rights and wrongs of fox-hunting next.) Pine cones, though. There's a thought.  

I, too, have wondered about the effectiveness of sonic equipment. Aldi had what seemed to be a good value sonic device but they had sold out before I got to them. Would be good to hear from someone who has tried this method. I am surprised that it can discriminate between mice and other creatures. (I've wondered the same about the sonic deterrents being used in UK shopping malls to stop teenagers loitering - seems a shame if the sound, inaudible to adults, also hurts the ears of innocent babies trapped in pushchairs)  Frankly, I'd rather have mice than a cat. The neighbour's cat seems far more effective at catching birds than mice - and I rather like having birds around the garden.

Thanks for the suggestions. Will give the DIY approach a try first but if it looks as if I will make a mess of it, the monumental stonemason is an interesting option. (It's one activity in rural central France that remains thriving business!)

I have a wooden kitchen unit fitted with a marble work-top. I now want to use it as an island unit and would like to shape the rear edge of the marble top (which has a plain vertical edge at the rear as it has been against the wall) to match the three other finished edges which have been chamferred. It will then have the same finished edge on all four sides. Anyone got any tips on what equipment/materials I might use on marble to get the chamferred edge? Is there a particular grinding stone I can put in my electric drill, for example? Do I need grinding pastes? I've asked at a couple of DIY stores and searched on the net but haven't had any joy.

If you get a microwave-only oven (as opposed to a combination oven with grill, etc) the power consumption should be quite low. (Ours was for some time plugged into what we discovered was a lighting circuit that the previous owner had seen fit to wire into a kitchen socket outlet; and even then, the microwave didn't overload the circuit.) I would avoid the combination type oven in any event. They seem much more prone to failure and frankly if I want to grill or bake something, I have a conventional oven which is much better suited to the task. Also avoids the problem of where to store the extra bits that come with a combination oven when (as is mainly the case - in our household at least) they are not needed. 

I thought I negotiated a good deal at BUT. About 15% off already discounted prices and free use of their van for 2 hours to get the stuff (cooker, fridge-freezer and washing machine) back to the village. It was a slog, taking up half a day, but seemed worth it. Found out in bar next evening (and subsequently verified) that the one-man band electrician in the village could have supplied exactly the same goods for almost same "discounted" prices I paid, free delivery and he would have installed it all for nothing, too. More importantly, perhaps, if any future problems encountered, his premises are only 150 metres away. And I would have gained a few brownie points for giving the business to a local. Now they tell me.

Having been suspected of being a stroppy functionaire, earlier in this thread, it's nice to know someone is thinking of me. (No need to elaborate and shatter the illusion.) Have to say though, much as I disliked said programme, I could easily find many more than 9 to place above it in a worst-ever poll. Aghhhh!  I'm turning into Victor Meldrew now.

Without wishing in any way to play down the seriousness of Stefan's post, I wonder how the danger from a few cans of paint in a hold compares with that posed by gallons of cheap vodka and other spirits crammed into suitcases, car boots, trailers, etc. Genuine comment - I'm no chemist and haven't a clue.

Zut alors! Perhaps I have misjudged Mr Thaw all these years due to some mis-casting in one series. Have to agree about Ms Duncan, though. Her inclusion in any cast is enough to ensure I give it a miss. I'll finish with this now as I seem to be turning into a theatre/TV critic - and there must be few people worse qualified.

I agree. I used to think it was all a bit too sugary but having recently read "Bon Appetit" and reread "Year in Provence", I have looked at him in a rather different light. He doesn't so much paint it all as rosy but apply a "so what?" attitude. I need to do more of that. He is also amusing without relying on the usual hackneyed phrases (expressions such as "hackneyed phrases") and is easy to read. The only thing that pisses me off is his ability to buy what he wants when he wants, rather than have to stop and think "Can we really afford to have a 3 ton piece of hand-carved granite and a dozen people to move it" or to eat out at smart restaurants every day? But everyone with more money than me pisses me off in that respect. I should just say "So what?", or shrug with gallic disinterest, of course. I think I was also put off initially by John Thaw as I am the only person I know who didn't consider him to be an acting genius. (And before all you Thaw fans send hate mail, I should warn you that my reaction will be "So what?")