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Well, I do seem to have broken the yolk when trying to poach a perfect egg, which is always a bother. Still, it tastes the same. I do try to maintain a strict attitude about language and thoughts which might land us and our owners in the ducking pond. Sometimes it would be nice to let rip but not on this forum. Henry, obviously you do not like being addressed as love or dear so perhaps I might suggest you nominate a word - you may NOT have any word with wooly or banana in it. Those belong to my daughter! Have you had to do with Norman yet? I’ll see if he has finished his carnal Xmas celebrations and is able to join the fun. Alternatively, lighten up a bit, relax, feel the life enhancing flow of the grape or the grain or other substance as they wipe away the blues, Grinchy moments and general detritus of the old year. It is worth it.

Point of order Henry 100. No one has ever called you racist on this forum ( I have the receipts ). As moderators however we have to view all posts through the eyes of the owners. My fellow moderator believed that in this day and age certain phrases in your stories could be seen to cause offense. I'm sure, knowing Mr Banana as I do, he would have tried to explain this to you privately. You may not agree, but the forum survives through the good graces of the France Media group. We, as mods, can only do our best to make sure that it continues.

Don't bother with NYE - utterly useless, but Vienna's NYD concert, always, with a bottle bubbly or something nice .. depending on what I have in ..didn't buy bubbly so it might be sweet white wine instead this year ..

So...there was NO accident, was there?

Must admit I forgot this year. Wanted to stock up with diesel so went to the garage this morning with a couple of jerrycans. Oops!🙄

Appoint a Power of Attorney. It can be you, your sister or a third party. Once appointed, the POA is authorised to make legal financial decisions, ie not to the detriment of your mother, and an arrangement can be drawn up as to the ownership or disposal of the property.

My Kangoo will be 25 this year. Nowadays she doesn't get a lot of use, just to and from the dechetterie. When we imported her into the UK, amongst other things, we had to have the speedo replaced before she could be registered. Around 10 years ago the UK speedo failed. Fortunately we still had the original. Every time she goes in for the C.T. the mechanic comments on the low mileage. I tend not to enlighten him.😉

This isn't a court of law, it's a forum. You seen to be determined to become offended by the comments of others. I suggest you take a deep breath, make yourself a cup of coffee, and go back to finishing that dog bowl. We're all looking forward to seeing the pics.

Celebrity - as in so many TV programmes feature so-called ‘celebrities’ who I’ve never heard of. It’s just me I suppose.