Re: Woman standing in front of the wardrobe mirror...

[Mr Coeur de Lion]

...she turns to her husband and says "my tits are sagging, my belly is hanging over my waistband and my arse is huge, could you pay me a compliment." The husband looks up and says, "your eyesight is perfect"

[Bugsy]

.[:D][:D][:D]

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[NickP]

Husband says to his wife if I died would you take a lover?  "probably" says the wife.  Would you let him into my house? says the husband, "I suppose so" says the wife, would you take him into my bed? says the husband, "I would imagine so" says the wife.  Would you let him use my golf clubs? said the husband,  "No said the wife, they wouldn't be any good for him,  he's left handed"

[Northender]

Man comes home from the Pub one night and tell's his Wife that local gossip has it that the Window Cleaner has made love to every women in the street apart from one.

Oh , says the Wife , that will be that stuck-up bi*** at number 8.

[Frenchie]

A woman buys slippers for her husband .. he says, hey, darling, look, even my willy likes them, he's looking at them.

And she answers" oh right...Next time I'l buy you a cap "   [Www]

[Northender]

Man gets up off the settee , puts his coat on and says to his wife , " I,m just off out to the Pub , are going to put your coat on?

Why , she replies , are you going to take me along for once?

No , he replies , I'm switching the central heating off.

[Bugsy]

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' So he tied her up and went golfing.

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A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house.. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'

The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'

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