Re: The Ubiquitous White Van

[Gardian]

Now we've all seen them haven't we?  There are loads of them around: the more recent ones are a bit fatter and (dare we say it?) non-spec because they're dark blue or some other colour. But the real thing is something that's 20+ years old, white (ish) and looks as though its been through several Middle East Wars.

Our neighbour Michel has one.  A 'Seat Terra' and it lives up to its name.  I've been in it once on a journey and driven it once myself in order to ferry some material up to our house from 200m away.  Terrifying: brake and clutch virtually inoperable, in fact interchangeable. All that was six or so years ago and since then the 'vehicule' has sat close by with (according to Michel) the mice eating away at the brake pipes.

Current crisis: their No 1 and 'best' car is impounded in a dodgy local garage re a repair dispute (its been there for 8 weeks). No 2 car (a mid-90's Peugeot 106 - 'La Cent-Six') is operational, but has never been the same since flames came licking from under the bonnet on a short journey to the village a year or so ago. No 3 car won't go and is parked in our neighbour's house - last information was that it was full of wasp's nests, not having moved for 2 yrs.

So .................. the 'Terror' has been done up. Well, not exactly done up, just cleaned a bit and who knows what?

You couldn't make it up really. I love the man dearly (he'd do anything for you), but he insists that all these wrecks are "presque neuves".

I suspect that what I witness isn't unique.       

[nectarine]

ha ha, do keep us updated on this story!

[Lehaut]

Indeed. Our village carpenter has a blue deux cheveaux van, in "original" condition with a home made wooden roof rack and matching trailer. He took me out to visit a local PVC window makers one evening in the pouring rain. My seat had no stuffing, just a rag over the springs. The "lights" shone dimly and the windscreen wiper only worked when the button was held in. As he only has two arms, both of which shake, he overcame the problem of steering, changing gear and holding the button in with a piece of specially shapped match stick wedged between the depressed button and the dash. Due to the erratic movement of the van, this would drop out. He only had 3 pieces, so when the last one went, he stopped looking at the A84 on which we were travelling in the dark, rain pouring and covered in lorry spray and concerntrated on the floor of the van to find the match stick! Terrified, I spent the rest of the journey with my finger firmly pressed on the button. We eventually arrived at the factory and drove past it three times, as he could not remember the way in. Turning on the main road could only be accomplished with me sticking my head out of the window to gauge on coming traffic as he could not see out. On the plus side, both his eyes point in the same direction which is more can be said for the rest of his family, who also drive!

[Gardian]

[:D][:D][:D]

I've been reminded of another recent incident.

Some friends were over recently and Derek and I were returning from the village on the morning 'bread run'. There's a character around here who bimbles around the local roads in his clapped-out white van at a leisurely 35kph - he's got a transfer of a sanglier on the rear window and he looks a bit like one himself!

Anyway, Monsieur Sanglier had obviously been badly 'caught short', because he'd just pulled up on a bend in the road and was relieving himself with all his equipment in full view. Derek was surprised and amused, but then horrified when I told him that the very same bloke helps out on the chicken stand on the village market - he loads up the raw chickens on to the spit.

I've gone right off the idea of their spit-roast poulet fermier!!   

[Lehaut]

Should not think you have much to worry about, at least they are cooked.

If you are Catholic, you should be more worried about the fecal matter in font survey, Given the general hygiene habits of our locals, dipping your fingers in this stuff is a real risk!

[Gardian]

Update.

No change.

Best car still impounded, 'Terror' hasn't moved, Fiat still wasp-infested (though they've probably all flaked out by now) & Cent-Six still staggering along.