"Due to unforeseen circumstances....."

[mint]

They've got to be the most weasley of all English words.  And, have you noticed that these words are NEVER said to you face?

Oh no, they are always contained in a letter or, nowadays, an email.

Either the senders have no sort of perceptive powers at all, or why else could they not have foreseen something major happening in their lives perhaps only a day or two previously or they are just the most cowardly and unconvincing liars in the world?

These words are usually followed by "we have now withdrawn our house from the market", "we are now withdrawing our offer to buy your house", "I am unable to marry you next Saturday", "the job I offer you is no longer available".

See, what I mean, BIG, life changes that could alter your future lifestyle completely but you haven't been able to foresee" circumstances" which render you unable to follow a major life event to its conclusion.  Why not just say, I am this unprincipled, selfish swine and I am only going to act in a way that will profit  myself and not you, whatever I might have promised or committed to do?  Certainly would be a change and a LOT more honest!

Personally, I'd respect someone better if they'd just come up with "actually, I have got a better offer than yours", "I can't stand the thought of spending the rest of my natural with you", "I was drunk when I made that marriage proposal", "my company is about to go bankrupt and I have no need of a new employee", "I have come into a large sum of money and no longer need you to buy my house/provide me lodgings in your house/engage your talents in any way".

I don't know whose feelings these people think they are saving?  Certainly not those of the recipients of their meaningless and insulting words.

Not only do they cause the recipients anger, anguish, perhaps even despair, they want to let themselves off the discomfort of a face-to-face, or even telephone conversation and are hoping to assuage their conscience (if they have any conscience, that is)  

[Swissie]

Our buyer shook hands and was delighted we would be able to move and look after my elderly parents and spend Christmas with them. Everything was just 'perfect' for all of us, he said. We went to our solicitor and signed our part of the contract and went for a celebratory meal - we were just having dessert when the phone call came - not from him of course, but from his solicitor. Our delightful 'friend' was there ready to sign, but how about 15% off the price! We told him to bog off - and it cost us a lot of money and a few more months waiting - but I wouldn't have sold to him for the world. xx Swissie  B******D

[AnOther]

Someone done the dirty on you sweets..............?

[woolybanana]

These words are followed by "we have now withdrawn our house from the market", "we are now withdrawing our offer to buy your house", "I am unable to marry you next Saturday", "the job I offer you is no longer available".

Good Bobo Sweets, you have had a bad day if you have had all those disappointments in one day?

But, usually in my not very humble life, I have noticed that changed events are usually for the best somehow. Ill wind and all that.

So, put on yer purple high heels and knickers, plus the stick on tassles, have a hunk of vodka and go for it, whatever that might be!!!

[Dog]

Rule No.1 do not get angry. Harbouring anger just eats you up - channel the annoyance into something positive.

 The people that say these things are spineless so it is to be expected of them. It is always most satisfying to tell the lawyer giving you such news what you think of his client in the most choice language.

If it is contained in a letter scribble something very very rude over their letter and send it back and see if they dare pass the news onto their client.

Never give in to these people and do not give any ground in negotiation - if someone wants to pay less they get less, it's quite easy.

Have a glass of bubbly and make a toast to not having to deal with such lowlife... you never know -  things often work out for the best.

[mint]

What a laugh you've all given me, especially Wooly.

Oh, I forgot the accompanying words to those:  we regret any inconvenience caused......as though they care a monkey's!

[suein56]

[quote user="sweet 17"]

Oh, I forgot the accompanying words to those:  we regret any inconvenience caused......as though they care a monkey's!    [/quote]

Did they give a reason Sweets?

Sue

[Gemonimo]

Wooly is quite right, Sweets... things do usually have a way of working out for the best.  Just keep a zen attitude and don't eat youself up about it - it won't change anything and won't do you any good.  But I can understand your enormous disappointment.

[mint]

Sue, people who start their emails with "due to unforeseen circumstances" dah di dah di dah......NEVER give you a reason.

That's the whole point of starting with those words ......it's because they somehow think that that absolves them from ringing you up like an sensible person and telling you the real reason.

As Dog says, only the spineless use words like those.  People of integrity feel that they need to at least explain their action to you.  It doesn't make the result any different but it would make you feel that at least they are not ducking and diving and being sneaky.

It's just something to hide behind and yes, I do think it's rather despicable.

[Swissie]

I'm sure it will turn out for the best - as you did have some doubts about the house, and were suddenly seeing your house with new eyes. There is a much better deal round the corner,  I am sure - that you WILL fall in love with. Thinking of you xx

In our case, the guy knew my parents were very unwell and that I wanted to be there for them - and he USED that at the last minute - hence the B******d - my mum died before we could move and dad soon after- and I shall never forgive him for that.

[Russethouse]

 When we were looking for our first house and lost out to a 'cash ' buyer, my old boss said ' you'll go further and do better' and he was right. Good Luck Sweet

[mint]

Oh, Swissie, that is terrible:  I mean for someone to use such an extreme brand of emotional blackmail.  Makes you wonder what makes these people tick.

No, no, Jen, Wooly, all my wellwishers, I'm not even disappointed anymore.  I don't want to say anything about other members' "areas" but I did always find that, as I drive North, the sky gets greyer and the air chillier.

Of course, we just happened to be up there during a week of severe cold and of very strong winds but, after Pons, the sun came out and I think the OH was happy to be back south again.

I'm now going to look a bit south of here rather than north.  So, anyone from, say, dept 82 and want to tell me about the weather there?[:D]

[bubbles]

You seem to be working your way towards our neck of the woods now!

If you buy our house we can always include the Clavinova - no extra charge!!

Just joking.

Glad you are up and looking around again.

Plenty more houses on the market.

[mint]

Are you going to pack up and go even if you don't sell straightaway, Bubbles?

Can't be an easy decision and you have my every sympathy.

[Babbles]

I had some Russians coming to stay but ended up no showing so I contacted them to find out what was happening, his opening line of the email was I'm sorry for the great incontinence caused, now I was pee'd off as it cost me a lot of money but certainly didn't cause incontinence !

[pachapapa]

Sounds more likely to me that the seller had "skeletons in the wardrobe" and the impeccable quality of your "due dilligence survey" was beginning to provoke uneasiness as to what you might discover.

[woolybanana]

All in all Sweets, you may be well off out of that house deal!

[bubbles]

Hi, Sweets.

Not sure what we are going to do really.

Once the pool is out of its hivernage it will need us to be there to keep it looking good so we can't really just clear off to the UK and let the agent get on with trying to find a buyer.

Fortunately, we are really near Perpignan airport and can nip back and forth (good old Ryanair) to see my mum over the summer.

We are buying out my brothers' shares of the family bungalow eventually but in the meantime my lovely freres don't mind us staying there whenever it suits.

AND it is really close to mum's new nursing home in Huntingdon.

We're even getting the bathroom there revamped and generally updating the place. My SIL is a great home improver and is organising buying all the stuff needed whenever B&Q are having one of their sales.

She is also contacting plasterers and electricians and plumbers for us.

All-in-all, we are really lucky.

It's just that, now we have decided to move from France, I would rather just do it and not linger on.

You know the feeling.

[mint]

Babbles, I hope you took a non refundable deposit out of them?

Pacha & Wooly, thank you for the kind thoughts.  There were loads of questionable stuff, you know, but the place had such charm and I must admit it wasn't just the place but I so wanted to be out of my present situation that I would have gone ANYWHERE so the pain was about losing the dream of moving on.

But, I am absolutely and definitely over all of that now and, today, OH said that he was probably more disappointed than I was.  Mind you, he'd spent hours measuring up the damn place and drawn a floor plan to scale plus came up with an ingenious solution of having the fosse right outside the front door if necessary but where no pumping was needed.

Thing is, as you have all pointed out, it's probably for the best and we would have spent megabucks getting it to the way we would have wanted it.

Also, the seller WAS always prickly and difficult.  He said at one stage he wasn't going to let us have a second look and, fool that I was, I persuaded him that it wasn't exactly unreasonable to request a second look as nobody spends thousands of euros buying something that they haven't been able to get a proper look at.

So, now, help me with suggestions as to where else I might go?[:D]

[suein56]

[quote user="sweet 17"] I don't want to say anything about other members' "areas" but I did always find that, as I drive North, the sky gets greyer and the air chillier. [/quote]

For 'blue' skies rather than 'grey' skies - even when the weather is not so good - IMHO, you have to be living near or on the coast. Our skies - here in the the 'north' of France, albeit southern Brittany - are invariably bluer than where we lived when we first arrived, when we lived inland for 3 months. It's not just me who says this as visitors from other (inland) regions of France are enthralled by our clear, blue skies.

So, wherever you choose to be, IMHO, the coastal regions or very nearby, will give you the bluer skies and the more temperate climate that you seem to prefer.

Sue

[mint]

Thanks for that, Sue.  In fact, I was rather hoping I'd be swimming in the sea same as you do!

In the UK, we lived in a seaside town and it was fine until Bank Holiday Weekends when it felt like the whole world came to town.

Do you think mountain areas will have blue skies as well?  Mountain air might be better for my asthma and I must say mountains do lift the spirits somewhat.

[suein56]

[quote user="sweet 17"]

Thanks for that, Sue.  In fact, I was rather hoping I'd be swimming in the sea same as you do![/quote]

Yes, I realise that and feel bereft for you!

[quote user="sweet 17"]In the UK, we lived in a seaside town and it was fine until Bank Holiday Weekends when it felt like the whole world came to town. [/quote]

Aahh yes,there is that, BUT you must share the beauty, tranquillity and sheer joy of living in a sublime area with those who can only benefit from it on a limited time-scale.

[quote user="sweet 17"] Do you think mountain areas will have blue skies as well?  [/quote]

IMO probably yes, as the air will be cold but clear; but caution is advised as too cold is not good either.

[quote user="sweet 17"]Mountain air might be better for my asthma and I must say mountains do lift the spirits somewhat.[/quote]

A long time ago I used to suffer from asthma, but that was before I came to France ;)

Sue

[mint]

Oh, Sue, what a lovely, lovely reply and I just want to thank you for that.

But, watch this space, because I WILL find somewhere and then I shall tell you all about it! (whether you want to hear about it or not[:P])

[mint]

Oh, Sue, what a lovely, lovely reply and I just want to thank you for that.

But, watch this space, because I WILL find somewhere and then I shall tell you all about it! (whether you want to hear about it or not[:P])

[Russethouse]

Sweet if you go to the mountains it might be worth looking for a house with level access, as you get older slopes and steps can be a real problem - sorry !