Alchohol

[woolybanana]

Well Coops, it boils down to group or individual stuff and depends on individual personalities. Here are three starter references for anyone who seriously wants to get into this, but beware, it is a huge field:

http://adam.about.com/reports/000056_7.htm

http://www.doctordeluca.com/Library/AbstinenceHR/EffectivenessAlcRx05.htm

http://www.doctordeluca.com/Library/AbstinenceHR/EffectivenessAlcRx05.pdf

Quite clearly I favour one set of approaches whilst others favour alternatives. What is certain is that 12 step and group sessions are not the only way to go, nor is public confession.

I regret that the debate last night contained so little to be of help to those needing it.

And will now shut up

[Just Katie]

[quote user="woolybanana"]

Seven years of study, plus head of the relevant units at two major hospital. Is that enough for you Gluestick?

I will ask her about alternatives and the why's and wherefores and let you know.

[/quote]

Most professions take 7 years of study, and mine is no exception.  I also have PQE of 15 years.  Would I claim to be the best in the country?  No where near it and I would be embarrassed should my mother claim I was on an OPEN FORUM of all places.

Gay, please can we split this thread to enable those interested to stay on topic?

[Gemini_man]

[quote user="woolybanana"]Alternative viewpoints not allowed in your world then?[/quote]

alternative viewpoints should most certainly be allowed in open forums but dominating a thread to the detriment of the original posting simply because you have an alternative viewpoint surely should not be allowed and shows a most selfish streak in my opinion - and it seems pretty rude to me.

[Russethouse]

WBs reply to this has been moved to start its own thread.http://www.completefrance.com/cs/forums/1054719/ShowPost.aspx

Can we please leave this thread for the discussion of personal experiences etc and use the other thread for the discussion of the merits of different attitudes and treatments,

Thanks

[woolybanana]

One cannot now be read without the other so I will regard it as a continuation and use it for reference. OK?

[Russethouse]

I'll copy & paste your references and then if any one wants to debate with you in the other thread they can.

Further debate regarding treatment, on this thread will be deleted.

[Pads]

Chris and Mog well done to both of you to realise your problems and do some thing positive about it , and even more so to open up to people who have become your friends and have a lot of respect for both of you. I worked at the samaritains for years and I know the power of talking and getting things of your chest. Talking works its a very powerful tool.

I have lived most of my life with first my brother and then my father in law who were both alcololics, thankfully my brother who lost his wife because of his problems and was told he only had so long to live if he didnt stop, met married and had 2 children with a loverly lady who changed his life around , he now runs marathons, is healthy and happy. Sadley my father in law died a couple of years ago a very lonely and unhappy man.

This is only my own point of view but I have found by talking to people over the years and from the people I lived with when younger, That you need to be so careful who you fall in love with and live with , the wrong type of person who puts you down and trys to undermine your confidence all the time is the classic reason for self abuse i.e drinking to much. it then becomes a horrible circle and you blame your self and feel worthless. But when you are around people who love support and care for you , suddenly you can climb mountains and walk on water. So look carefully at the people you hitch up with and make sure your not only there because they have made you feel so worthless you dont have the strenght to leave them. Having the wrong people in your life be that bosses work mates family or wifes can drag you down until you become invisable.

I have had some personal problems myself recently and did think one evening about reaching out on here the, only reason I didnt was I didnt want people telling me how sorry they were ect ........(no matter how well meaning it was meant) what I wanted was some one to just be strong and sensible and friendly and I found that by e mailing some one who I have spoken to in the past on here but who is really a stranger to me, (but not any longer I hope) I found this helped me a lot for a short period and it was what I needed when I needed it. (So thankyou to you I know your watching this )

Wooley Im sad you dont feel you could reach out to friends/ strangers no matter where you are even if its on a forum, when you need it you just reach out dont think about it. Its a great way to find out who your true friends are when you need them,  dont cut your self off from people you will become a very lonley person.  

Chris dont worry about where the future is taking you, go slowley have some you time , heal , be happy and the future will take care of its self, by opening your self up to any possibilities a new path will open for you where you least expect it . Good luck to you and stay strong.

[Meg]

 But when you are around people who love support and care for you , suddenly you can climb mountains and walk on water

That is so true pads.

Anyway........ i survived a Friday night on tea! Cool or wot! [:)]

[Pads]

That is cool[:)]

I have also given up drinking and chocolate until christmas in a bid to lose some weight and to pay for my lessons Im having so I was with you last night.

[Meg]

Yep its very cool, been working some sums out. I reckon that since i was 15/16 i have only had at a guess no more than maybe 10 Friday/Saturday nights booze free.

Also i reckon that for the last few years on a 'normal' night i was drinking a min of 800 calories! So yep good plan for for shifting some weight.

Good for you pads, 2 good incentives, weight loss and money towards something positive! (Christmas will be a bit of a blow out then!!??)

[Russethouse]

I read Woolys link on the other thread last night and began to feel guilty, then I remembered I was only drinking tonic water and slimline at that [:)][:)]

[mint]

Is now a good time to start a thread on reducing alcohol rather like the dieters have on losing weight?  Then we can all "clock" in once a week and see how we get on?

I'm not on a diet, so can't legitimately post too much on their thread but I think I can manage to post on an alcohol one without feeling a fraud!

[Christine Animal]

I once read there's the equivalent of seven lumps of sugar in a glass of wine !   [:'(]  Good on you lot for your courage and your achievements.  Keep at it !

Even more sugar in those awful fizzy coca type drinks though.  Also some wine they say is good for cholesterol.   [:)]

 

[londoneye]

I had a friend who committed suicide.   We never really found out why, although there were signs that it may have been alcohol related.   He wasn't my best friend in the entire world, but he was a friend.    I still think about him every time I hear a certain song, and it is nearly 20 years ago now.  I cry for him because I don't think he really understood what a lovely person he was and how much support he could have had if he had only opened up a little to someone.  

Then, a couple of years later I had another friend who was suicidal.    I spent months, perhaps stretching to close to a year when I tried to support her, until I finally realised that if I carried on I would end up the same way.    I spent more nights than I care to remember when my phone would ring and there would be silence at the other end, because she was unable to speak.   I would sit at 4.00 in the morning talking for hours into a phone with just the sound of breathing at the other end.    Eventually, she would say thank you, or some such thing, and hang up.    It took weeks to persuade her to seek professional help, but eventually she did.     I wouldn't say she was cured as such, but last I heard of her was a surprise invite to her wedding in Australia, so it seems her progress continued.       I suppose what I am trying to say is that in my opinion (based on no expertise whatsoever), professional help is the best way forward for any serious illness, whether physical or mental.   However, I also know from experience that sometimes a little personal help is required also, and if Chris, or anyone else can get any comfort or help from a forum such as this then how can that possibly be anything but good.

[Chris Head]

Only just read your post londoneye...you sound like a goodun'! Suicide is sometimes the only option some folk can find in those darkest of moments.

Admitting that you need help is a huge thing; especially in one as stubborn as me....I'm a convert now, without the folk I've had behind me I wouldn't be sitting here on a Friday night; stone cold sober and looking forward to tomorrow, no hangover, no aching liver; no depression....just a pleasant evening researching, thinking, planning and sorting all the chaff that still exists and up at 5 with a crystal clear mind.

[londoneye]

Hey I'm stubborn too, I am very much of the 'do as I say, not as I do' kind !!!  I'd struggle enormously to ask for help myself.   And I am not good, there were times when I hated that woman.   Even one time when I didn't answer the phone at some ungodly hour.   Wracked with tiredness I just couldn't be bothered any more.    Still ...... half hour later I had to call - and when there was no answer I had to drag my a*s out of the house and call a taxi and go round - even then she wouldn't let me in !!!!!!!!!!     Her name was mud that night, but she was a good friend and I loved her to bits, so you do what you can.    Just hope I never need it myself.

Keep at it, you sound quite young and you have years of pleasure and other kinds of decadence to find ahead of you yet !!!!!!

[TWINKLE]

Interesting article

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/healthmain.html?in_article_id=490578&in_page_id=1774

[Chris Head]

Mmmm, this site said I was drinking about 204 units a week! 

http://www.at-bristol.org.uk/Alcoholandyou/Facts/units.html

 

[Pierre ZFP]

I'm begining to think that New Year has come and gone and no-one told me.  Let me explain, Just before this thread was started I decided that I would give up alcohol just to see if I could and therefore if I had a serious problem.  It seems that a lot of us have made similar resolutions at about the same time.  I've been lurking on the edge of this thread and drawn inspiration from it.  It's been a month now and I feel soooo much better.  Better sleep, fitter, more relaxed and the weight is coming off fast too.  Amazing!  I won't say I have been totally abstemious, I've had a glass of wine and 3 beers in the last month, the remarkable thing is that I can remember exactly how much I've had.

Thank you all for the tips and inspiration.  One of the best tips for me was 'Change your habits'  I found that my normal route into the Hypermarket took me past the booze and it was so easy to slip a bottle or 2 into the shopping without really thinking,  now if I haven't got it I can't drink it.  There have been times when I thought to myself I could really fancy a drink and those are the times when I deliberately didn't and the feeling soon passed ( I have drunk a LOT of fizzy water this past month though)

So, more power to you all and keep it up!

[Chris Head]

That's pretty cool Pierre, nice one! Feels good to feel good eh?

I wonder about Christmas & New Year, booze isn't even an issue to me now but it's going to be an 'interesting' time, I've chosen to be alone just in case...

[mint]

I have had my own little moment of triumph this evening.  Stopped by police and breathalysed (spelling?).  All was well, NOT over!  Not that I would have drunk and driven.  So now, I feel I need a drink to get over that little bit of excitement![:D]

[Meg]

Hey good one Pierre!

Day 17 here! 'ave it! [8-|]

[Pierre ZFP]

Thanks all, it's great to have some support isn't it?

Thinking back, one of the triggers for giving up the booze (or at least so much) was that the drink drive laws changed here in Lux to quite a minimal level and les Flicks got new stop and search powers and new breath test kit.  Boy did they go for it!  To be fair it was needed too as drink driving is quite prevelent around here.  So, I never drink and drive, but hang on, perhaps I did......  I'm pretty sure now that I would be way over the limit in the morning from what I had drunk the night before.  Makes me shiver to think how stupid I was and what could have happened.

Christmas and New Year?  Yes I will enjoy some nice wine and maybe some scotch but I certainly don't feel the need to throw large quantities down my neck.  It's a nice feeling to be back in control.

[ann49]

THANK YOU Chris,

You will never know the just how much reading your story has helped me to face the reality of my life.

regards Ann

[TWINKLE]

[quote user="Meg "]

Day 17 here! 'ave it! [8-|]
[/quote]

Well done! 

I've been feeling really tired for a while and after reading that Daily Mail article about all those worn out livers,  I asked myself last night if maybe it's my regular glasses of wine that are responsible.  So I'm giving myself  a well earned whole month off alcohol.  I'm sure I'll feel loads better afterwards and maybe be able to get back to just drinking on special ocassions. 

So.......

 Day 1 - I'm feeling positive for tomorrow night.  We're invited for a boozy meal and I've decided just to say that I'm on a course of anti-biotics so I can't drink.  If I say the real reason peoples eyes and tongues will fall out of their heads[:'(]