Advice please for apero invite

[confused of chalus]

This may seem naive to those of you who have immersed yourselves in France better than us, but after seven years we have received our very first neighbourly invite for aperos to celebrate the birthday of our neighbour. We have never met him, just waved hello, but have got to know his wife quite well.

The invitation is for 6pm, we need to know how long we should stay, whether we should take a small birthday gift, or an English birthday cake, or booze, or what would be expected/appreciated?

The wife works in a small factory that makes sauces, flavoured mustards and vinaigrette and is always bringing us samples.. She is very generous an I have now enough vinaigrette to last a couple of years!

Hints and tips on etiquette all appreciated

Thanks, Kathy.

[tinabee]

I would take a gift, but probably not cake or booze, maybe something particularly "English". And maybe a houseplant or flowers for the wife for her hospitality. Round here aperos normally last an hour or two, but it has been known for them to last into the small hours of the morning . . .

[NormanH]

Strictly the apéro is just the drinks before the meal which can go on until 7.30 /8 as tinabee says.

There comes a moment when you have to play it by ear, because some people may be staying for a meal and others not.

I would imagine you wouldn't be after what you say about how well you know them, so keep an eye out for others getting their coats.

Of course you mat be pressed to stay[:)]

[Loiseau]

Or sometimes it turns out to be an apéritif "dinatoire", when the hostess brings out progressively more substantial nibbles till you are tucking into huge slices of warm quiche.

So don't eat anything before you go, just in case... But have something lined up to return to, as it might be just a few crisps after all!

Angela

[nectarine]

I was always told to never bring wine to a French household, since you're telling the host that his own choice of wine is suspect so you're bringing a better bottle!

However, I once brought a bottle of Stones Ginger Wine which was received with great enthusiasm, with everyone tasting it and remarking how wine could be made with ginger ( couldn't reply, I have no idea how it can be made!).

English biscuits, in pretty tins, are always popular.

Good luck.

[idun]

As long as you don't take chrysanths, I wouldn't worry about etiquette to be honest.

You have had good advice about how this can go down, ie do not eat for hours before you go. That the nibbles may be simple get more and more substantial. Or start off substantial. Or that you may be asked to stay for dinner. And have something at home just in case.

Even if you get asked to stay, where I lived, nothing more was served until every last nibble had gone, no matter how substantial the nibble, so if there is a last piece of pizza, quiche or melon, don't hesitate, eat it.

Seven years is a very very long time to not have been invited or in fact not invited people yourselves. I suspect curiosity about us was a factor in inviting us, but we invited our neighbours very quickly even when my french was lousy. The idea of not knowing them and feeling isolated did not appeal. I could have moved to parts of my region where there are little expat communities, and how easy that would have been for me, but I know that my learning french would have suffered if I had done that, me not having any gift for language.

[YCCMB]

Just don't do what I did...after having already been a veteran of several aperos. We were invited to the neighbours opposite, who are the son and daughter-in-law of our next door neighbours, with whom we'd already had a fair few meals and aperos.

Having been caught out on one occasion eating BEFORE we went (by that, I mean, some other guests - the people from whom we bought our place - popped round and caught us mid-pasta!) because I simply can't drink anything on an empty stomach, and a few peanuts just don't cut it, we decided on this occasion to stick something in the oven on a low light so we could have it as soon as we got back. Nobody mentioned it would be an apero dinatoire, so I had to make an excuse to pop home and switch off the oven at about 9 pm, to avoid setting the house on fire.