Dream dashed

[wishiwasthere]

I have spent the last 25 years getting away from the rat race once a year to spend time in my favourite part of France I have seen my kids grow up and move away (apart from youngest now l4) my company is in its death throws, my l6 year relationship has finished and Im just about at the end of my tether, so I thought sod it, Im out of here - move to France, start a new life and get some happiness.  However, it doesnt seem to be working.  All advice says l4 is a bad age to move a child (child? he's almost 6ft for heavens sake) into the french system, but what about English schools there? I cant seem to get my head around all the legalities, health cover, mortgages, driving licences, social security.  Perhaps Im just not up to it although I have always done things on my own and been admired by kids for doing so.  I feel as though I need someone to sit down with me and just say - this is what you need to do - and just point me in all the right directions.  I have a reasonable maintenance settlement from ex husband and private medical cover in this country, so I could probably live without needing to work.  How would this affect health cover and should I continue paying into insurance in this country. I Know, I know, this subject has probably been covered before, but I feel so confused about everything and I feel as though my dream is sliding away.  Anyone held a maiden in distress?

[Pucette<P><FONT face="Times New Roman" size=3>Pucette<FONT><P><FONT face="Times New Roman" size=3><P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt">"Qui ne connaît pas la campagne lhiver, ne connaît pas la campagne et ne connaît pas]

The driving licence is easy, you can keep your existing one.

You have asked a lot of questions, not all of them to do with education - if I were you I would sit down with a piece of paper and try to separate out all the issues and come back with precise questions that are easy to answer - for example "are there any international schools in the XXX area?" (XXX being wherever you want to move to). You could then post your queries under the relevant topic, making it easier for people to offer helpful advice. To offer advice, or even share relevant experiences, on healthcare or mortgages I think people would need more information.

Knights in white armour are all very nice but no substitute for thinking for oneself.

[Val_2]

Pucette is quite right. From your original posting it was only connected to your 14 year old. You have now given details that say you can support private education financially which puts a whole different light on the matter. People can only reply to info given and then from their own personal experience of which in most cases,the thread poster often dosn't like the response given. Be under no illusion that France will offer a solution to your personal and financial problems that is different from the current UK position.You have to work  at it yourself. The best way forward is to address the most important issues that you are concerned about singly within the forum sections that they refer to and remember each dept of France is different to others and nothing is ever straightforward here. I get the impression that you are frightened of making a commitment to upping sticks and moving here,but I am afraid that sometimes this is the only way to find out the reality.

[Deby]

Hello,

The fact that you are aware of all these issues already will in itself set you in good stead for a move to France.  Many people move without any knowledge whatsoever of the issues which are causing you to fret.

You do have alot of choices you just need to break them down into manageable tasks.  There is a good International school in Bordeaux I hear, also is there the chance that your youngest could stay in UK and finish education there, would that be a possibility - you need to make a decision what best works for you and your family and then onto the next task.  If you try and answer all those questions at once you will never move!

And what is the worse that could happen - you dont like it, well then you move back.  Remember the only regrets in life are those of what you never did!

Sometimes I love it in France and sometimes it frustrates the hell out of me, but as a family this is the best life for us now - in the future things, people change, situations change - nothing is ever written in tablets of stone unless you want it to be.

Deby

[Tresco]

You have already been given some very good advice and I hope I don't offend you if I focus on clearly personal matters, but your posting is very personal and emotional in tone.

What comes through to me is that you are very unhappy in your current situation. My first thought was that your user name could as well be 'wishIwasnothereandinthiscurrentsituation'

Becoming single, after a long (even unsatisfactory) relationship is quite a shock to the system - to be parted from your son, who may be tall, but is still very young, also, could prove to be equally or more traumatic. (I speak from experience).

Does your son want to be able to maintain his relationship with his father, if he comes here, or with you, if he stays in the uk?

You clearly have a long relationship with France, but would you be 'running away' from things as they are now, or running to something good? Well, I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide.

tresco

 

 

[Wicce]

You know what, isn't there a little saying that goes something like "act on impulse, regret at leisure" ? You sound really emotionally distraught at the moment, and that is not a good time to make such a dramatic change of life - even if you do love France (as do we all). You need to take some time for yourself to get to grips with your situation emotionally - it can be tricky enough in France if you are a couple, never mind just single again, and worrying yourself to death about your son liking his new school in a foreign country will not settle you in. Do plenty of research before you leap - even though you can always go back to the U.K., doing that can be mighty expensive - discuss it with your family and friends and make sure in your heart (and head) that you are doing the right thing.

Sorry to nag.

Mary

[Russethouse]

What does your son think ? Whatever you do will be a lot easier with his support, then there are your other children, expartner, grandparents etc all of whose opinions you may, or may not, value.

It may seem as if members here are not very supportive but the advice to 'hasten slowly' is well meant.

Bon Chance

[wishiwasthere]

Thanks everyone for your help and advice.  Im sorry if I sounded emotionally and garbled.  This is something I have been thinking about for a year or two now but I have never really had the courage to make the final move.  The trouble is that there isnt anyone else to talk it through with.  No grandparents/parents or other family apart from two daughters who are emigrating to Aussie anyway and just want me to be happy.  Son is not fussed about his father, as he has not been around for most of his life anyway.  Why I am bleating on here on this forum - do forgive me.  Iwill go away and make a list as suggested and hopefully come back here talking some sense!

[Tresco]

Come back quick.

I don't know how much info is still in the archived threads, but there may be some quite recent threads of interest to you. You may not know this but this forum went through a 'change' recently during which a lot of information was lost in cyber spave. Some of it is retrievable, by using the search function. It's a bit unwieldy but it may throw up some issues you need to consider. Then there are all the people who have been here in France for a long time, and seem to be endlessly patient and generous in answering questions or giivng advice.

tresco

 

tresco

[Hoddy]

You don’t say if your son has already started his GCSE courses. If he has, I suggest that you let him finish these in the UK. He will have finished them in 20 months time, June 2006.

You could use the time in between joining a French class, researching all those questions and, very importantly, finding a house that you like and can afford. It took us two years to do that. Perhaps you could use next summer’s school holiday on an extended trip to France - that would help both of you with the spoken French too.

That way, you could be ready to leave the UK the day after his last exam and you would be very well prepared.

Don’t give up your dream - there are many on this forum who had to wait ages but found what they wanted in the end.

Hoddy

[Russethouse]

Which area is it that you are thinking of moving to ?

[wishiwasthere]

Thank you everyone who has posted very kind and helpful replies.  I am going to try to calm down and bit and I think those who have suggested waiting until my son has finished his exams are probably right - only thing is I will probably have to move there alone, as he will then probably want to go to Uni  ( if he gets the grades!)  The area I was looking at is the Var district.  Does anyone have any info. on this area or is anyone already there?