Racerbear02

A flight is on its way to Sydney when a blonde in economy class gets up, and moves to the first class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”. The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy, and won’t move back to her seat. The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”. The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won’t listen to reason. The pilot says, “You say she is a blonde? I’ll handle this, I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde”. He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry” and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy. The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss. I told her, “First class isn’t going to Sydney “.

The why is actually fairly simple, at least in my mind [8-)] We just never got around to it, had no need to use any services, so kept putting it off, now the desire to create an auto entrepreneur business means we must do so. Thanks for the advice, pleaae keep it coming, I will examine the information sent in detail

This might seem an obvious question, in which case my apologies in advance, but  although we have lived since 2003, neither myself nor my husband have ever registered with the French social services system in anyway. Pause for exclamations of horror and questions about our sanity [:-))] So basically I need to know how to go about getting social security number, registering with health care system, etc. etc. Ideally online if possible, my French is OK, should be after so long here, I managed to get Cartes de Sejour in person just after we arrived, despite a degree of bureaucratic indifference, but online is less confrontational :) Thanks in advance

Thanks very much, informative as always on here [:)]

Sorry if this has been asked before but I did not get any search results for it A local guy wants to do some work for me but wants paying with a cheque d'emploi. How do I go about getting this and what should it cost me? Thanks in advance

Par contre [:)] You will feel much more better after reading this.   Brains of older people are slow because they know so much. People do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains, scientists believe.   Much like a computer struggles as the hard drive gets full, so too, do humans take longer to access information when their brains are full.   Researchers say this slowing down process is not the same as cognitive decline.  The human brain works slower in old age, said Dr. Michael Ramscar, but only because we have stored more information over time.  The brains of older people do not get weak.  On the contrary, they simply know more.   Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when they get there, they stand there wondering what they came for.  It is NOT a memory problem, it is nature's way of making older people do more exercise.

I have a big motorcycle show in Paris next weekend, I hope !!. I will go if permitted by the authorities, but I wonder how many people will get out to attend, particularly on the Friday evening. I think one of the differences between the IRA and the current bunch of mad bastards, is that the IRA predominately went for economic or military targets, not totally I know, where as this mob of cretins is totally indiscriminate and therefore of a greater risk to us ordinary folks. All because "my god is better than your god". The root of so much evil in the world when it should be a source of good for those who wish to believe. So sad, [:(] and ultimately probably utterly irrelevant.

I started to receive automated calls on this topic, but it was on my livebox VOIP number, which I do not give out, only use to call from. Not expecting any packages I ignored them. The 3 days ago I got a very nice lady who told me the same thing and gave me a number to dial, I also said "just put me through" but to no avail, so I informed her I had recorded the message and would inform the authorities of the scam. Very quick disconnection followed [:D] I have also received calls from 'Microsoft' purporting to be able to help me with my computer problem, In English !!  " Hello, I am calling from Microsoft...." my reply of "You know, and I know that is a lie, why don't you just $$ck off ?" was also met with a swift disconnect. Is there no limit to what they will try?

[:(]The whole Calais situation could be solved very easily by the French. If they told the UK government to remove the UK border control posts and checks from  Calais and back  to Dover, there would be some serious problem solving going on in Whitehall very quickly. Last time I came through Calais 3 weeks ago, the French  checks were very slow and methodical, if they decided to remove them, Dover would soon be utter chaos. **Update** Perhaps I was correct  The frustrated mayor of the port city of Calais says France should open its border with the UK if British Prime Minister David Cameron doesn't fully commit to solving the city's migration crisis.  

Out local Carrefour at Laon does not have a waste fresh food problem, they used to just leave the veg out till it rotted  [:@] However the recent opening of a Grand Frais nearby means that is now only left on display until it is so un appetising that no one would want to eat it  [:(] It is however heartening to hear that shops are finally getting to grips with the problem, I recall watching a spokesperson on a UK TV show saying that the shops binned the food to avoid any legal complications should anyone get ill from stuff they had donated, and sued them !!  Perhaps sanity is beginning to prevail [:)]

I would agree that the mixture does sound a bit strange, but if I ever have both items in the house at the same time, I will try it. My personal favourite way to eat crumpets is to  toast a good Cantal entre deux mers on top until it is brown and bubbling MMMMM Bit cheaper than foie gras as well :).

Prince Charles is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one.   The patient replies: "Fair fa your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o the puddin race, Aboon them a ye take yer place, Painch, tripe or thairm, As langs my airm."   HRH is confused, so he just smiles and moves on to the next patient.   The patient responds: "Some hae meat an canna eat, And some wad eat that want it, But we hae meat an we can eat, So let the Lord be thankit."   Even more confused, the Prince moves on to the next patient, who Immediately begins to chant: "Wee sleekit, cowerin, timrous beasty, O the panic in thy breasty, Thou needna start awa sae hastie, Wi bickering brattle."   Now seriously troubled, Charles turns to the accompanying doctor and asks, "Is this a psychiatric ward?"   "No," replies the doctor, "This is the serious Burns unit."

EATING IN THE FIFTIES Pasta had not been invented.  It was macaroni or spaghetti. Curry was a surname. A takeaway was a mathematical problem. A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower. Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time. All chips were plain.  Rice was a milk pudding, and never, ever part of our dinner. A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining. Brown bread was something only poor people ate. Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking. Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green. Cubed sugar was regarded as posh. Fish didn't have fingers in those days. None of us had ever heard of yogurt. Healthy food consisted of anything edible. Cooking outside was called camping. Seaweed was not a recognized food. 'Kebab' was not even a word, never mind a food. Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold. Prunes were medicinal. Surprisingly muesli was readily available....it was called cattle feed. Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of a real one. Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it and charging more than petrol for it they would have become a laughing stock. The two things that we never ever had on our table in the fifties...were leftovers and elbows!

Health and Safety Xmas initiative. Please be advised that all employees planning to dash through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are required to undergo a Risk Assessment addressing the safety of open sleighs. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers. Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance. Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all facility users are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks. The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that prior to shining his/her glory all around s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory. Following last year’s well publicised case, everyone is advised that EC legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr. R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. While it is acknowledged that gift-bearing is commonly practised in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded under provisions of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act. Further, caution is advised regarding other common gifts, such as aromatic resins that may initiate allergic reactions. Finally, in the recent case of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly.

Who Knew ??

Our local 'Grand Frais' had a promo last week on 'légumes ancienne', swede parsnips etc, they were FRESH, such a change from the rubbish normally served up by the rest of the supermarkets in this area . We cut them in slices, part nuked them in the microwave, swedes for the longest, with some carrots and a coarsely chopped onion and a few brussel sprouts, then roasted them in some goose fat at 230 dec C     MMMMMM   was a fabulous meal in itself but in the past we have also crumbled a bit of Roquefort over therm when they are out of the oven and one the plate. Also good with a roast anything meat wise.

Really ?? :)

The French system (s) was / were to apply to all over 3.5 ton vehicle regardless of nationality. That would have levelled the playing field in respect of foreign vehicles but would have cost the local hauliers a huge amount of money, and who would have ended up paying for that do you think?.  For sure after an initial reduction in mileage caused by the  shock effect, it would have returned quickly to current levels and someone would have had to find the projected 500 million the government was expecting, again guess who would have been the end payers?? There is now talk of hitting the autoroute companies profits to make up the shortfall, what will happen then do you think? In Germany, the charges apply for vehicles over 12 ton, not sure about Austria, so it does favour local, smaller truck using deliveries as compared to what had been proposed here. If the local truckers were given any form of rebate, surely that would be classed by the EU as the French subsidising the locals against the foreigners, and thereby wrong? I am afraid that it is just another example of the French government getting things hopelessly wrong :(

I agree Quillan, we have tried it and are happy with its performance.

The cynical part of me notes the fortuitous timing of the release of this information as being remarkably close to the launch of the book on Hollande, could it possibly be an attempt at misdirection?? surely not. [:D]

I just used them for the first time, very impressed. I sent money from my French bank yesterday at 1500, it was in the UK bank this morning. Fast and efficient

I am looking to buy a truck converted to a camper in Belgium. I need to bring it and register it in France, it is a common vehicle, Mercedes 814 with a body which has been professional converted. I have been told that it would be best to register it as a VASP, I guess I will have to visit DRIRE to ge that done. However, I have been told that I could register a 12 ton vehicle as VASP and drive it on a C1E licence, does anyone know if this is correct or not?  certainly in the UK if it is over 7.5 ton you have to have a C1E licence which allows me to drive upto 7.5 ton plus trailer.   I currently have a category C licence for large vehicles but am looking not to renew it. Any advice please Thanks

If Only it was this simple [:)] An Israeli with a good Sense of Humor at United Nations set the record straight.   An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly and made the world community smile. A representative from Israel began: 'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses: When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, "What a good opportunity to have a bath!" Moses removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them! The Palestinian representative at the UN jumped up and shouted furiously, "What are you talking about? The Palestinians weren't there then."   The Israeli representative smiled and said, "And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech."

Does anyone know what is required to change to a French LGV licence from a UK one? I am talking about category c, over 7.5 tonnes Do you need a medical/ if so how often, doy you need to renew it periodically  as in the UK every 5 years/ Thanks in advance

The 1st Affair A married man is having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. 'Where have you been?' his wife demanded. 'I can't lie to you,' he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary.. We had sex all afternoon.' She looked down at his shoes and said: 'You lying [nice chap]! You've been playing golf!' ------------------------------------------  The 2nd Affair A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?' The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'No, not this time!' ------------------------------------------  The 3rd Affair A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated and made a startling discovery.  Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.' So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home. 'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase. 'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!' ----------------------------------------------  The 4th Affair A woman was in bed with her lover When she heard her husband opening the front door. 'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.' She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. 'Don't move until I tell you,' she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.' 'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room.. 'Oh it's a statue,' she replied. 'The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.' No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2.00am. the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. 'Here,' he said to the statue, 'have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing..' --------------------------------------------- The 5th Affair A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer. 'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.' 'One Cent?' the man exclaimed... He glanced at the menu and asked: 'How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?' 'A nickel,' the barman replied. 'A nickel?' exclaimed the man. 'Where's the guy who owns this place?' The bartender replied: 'Upstairs, with my wife.' The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs with your wife?' The bartender replied: 'The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.' --------------------------------------------------------  The 6th & Best Affair Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly: 'I have something I must confess.' 'There's no need to, 'his wife replied. 'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace.. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!' 'I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison work.'