TWINKLE Posted October 7, 2006 Share Posted October 7, 2006 Saw this the Mail - Allison Pearson has decided to do a similar thing to Debretts guide to Etiquette for Girls.YEAR ONEENGLISH: Womens Words And How To Define Them: Why, when she says she's 'fine', she doesn't mean it.MATHS: Analysis Of The Female Use Of 'I'll just be five minutes'. For a woman, this ranges from ten minutes to two hours. At least.PHYSICS: The Washing Machine:An introduction.HISTORY: Why She Does Not Want To Meet Your Ex. Or talk about the great holiday you had with Gill in Phuket.SOCIOLOGY: Parenting: It Doesn't End With Conception. YEAR TWOBIOLOGY: Pre-Menstrual Tension - Keeping Your Mouth Shut And Other Survival Techniques.ECONOMICS: What Was Yours Is Now Hers.IT: The Remote Controm: Breaking your dependancy.PSYCHOLOGY: Present Giving: Why saucepans are NEVER acceptable.BOTANY: Reaons To Send Her Flowers. Why this always works!MATHS: Advanced Problem Solving/Calculus: Remembering birthdays and anniversaries - you can do it! YEAR THREEDRAMA: Learning How Not To Interrupt Soliloquies.ADVANCED BIOLOGY: Staying Awake After Sex.GEOGRAPHY: Introduction To Globalisation: How to book a foreign holidayDOMESTIC POLITICS: Conflict Resolution: Why she does not want to spend Christmas with your bonkers family.INTERNATIONAL LAW:The War On Terror: Coping with two kids under five alone without violating the Geneva Convention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meg Posted October 7, 2006 Share Posted October 7, 2006 Ha.............in three years, you'd be lucky! (unlikely a man could pass year one's English let alone the rest!) Sorry chaps i can't resist having a dig [kiss]Louise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Head Posted October 7, 2006 Share Posted October 7, 2006 Right Twinks, perhaps an interpretation of women might be more useful for us blokes...if that's possible? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 >>>Right Twinks, perhaps an interpretation of women might be more useful for us blokes...if that's possible?<<<Unfortunately when God created Adam and Adam was SO lonely that he pleaded with God to create him a companion, that God ask him to forsake one of his ribs to create Eve, Adam forgot to ask for a 'How to use Woman' manual ....So here's your downfall blokes!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Head Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 You lot should learn how to care better for your men, first weekend off in yonks and I get struck down by MAN-FLU, great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TWINKLE Posted October 8, 2006 Author Share Posted October 8, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Head Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 Thanks for the sympathy Twinks, if you women experienced man-flu just once you'd never moan about childbirth again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 It says it all really MAN!! flu ?...What is MAN-flu!?! if not some moaning affliction of not being able to go out with the lads 'coz 'er indoors has asked you to look after the kids whilst she is out on duty with the girls to paint the town red!... Poor Chris!... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Head Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 You don't understand MB!Tell me, is selective hearing exclusively a male affliction and selective headaches a female one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tresco Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 [quote user="missyesbut"] MAN!! flu ?... What is MAN-flu!?! [/quote]It's what women call 'the common cold'. [:D] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 Aaahh! Chris! If I wasn't living so far away I would come and nurse you... >>>selective hearing exclusively a male affliction<<<So you are admitting that members of your gender DO have this permanent problem!... >>>and selective headaches a female one<<<Selective headache ?... What's that?...Girls!! Twinks! Jayjay! JK!! Lou!... Help!! Chris is talking of 'selective headaches' Have you come across those?... Could you give me a crash course in 'selective headaches' ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 >>> missyesbut said : MAN!! flu ?... What is MAN-flu!?! and Tresco replied : It's what women call 'the common cold'. <<<Ah!! Nothing that can't be sorted out with a hot shower, warm bed with a boiling hotwater bottle, large whisky and lots of TLC from partner, if there is one around, if not a box of chocolate!... how to cure the MAN flu though is quite a mystery... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meg Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 I've never had a selective headache before. What are you on about Chris, the man flu must be affecting you badly. I feel for Mrs H today though...............those affected with man flu tend to whinge a bit! That plus the constant groaning and ill sounds you blokes like to make...............'uuurrr but i'm reaalllllyyyyy ill, groan, grumble'.Hot honey, lemon and whisky will sort you out.And eat a clove or 2 of raw garlic.Louise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Head Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 You lasses just don't understand the gravity of man-flu, if I don't make it through the night you'll wish you'd been more sympathetic, apart from Missy, thanks mate, get yer butt over here! ACTUALLY I've tabbed 10k through woodland today trying to shake it off but that failed so it's plan B, alot of red wine!edited, usual rubbish grammar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 >>>I feel for Mrs H today though.... <<<Don't worry louweezel! Mrs H. will give him as good as she gets!! That's why he is on the forum trying to get sympathy from us!... And dya knowat !! we must be blonde to pamper to his whingeing !..... PS : Must be contagious this MAN-flu! OH has just arrived back from a biking weekend with his mates and is complaining of 'flu' symptoms! Just as well I start work at 8 tomorrow ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tresco Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 [quote user="Chris Head"] ACTUALLY I've tabbed 10k through woodland today trying to shake it off but that failed so it's plan B, alot of red wine![/quote]Chris, if you really had flu you wouldn't be able to lift a glass of wine to your lips, let alone traipse around the woods.I rest my case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Head Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 Thanks Tresc, you wenches are a hard lot!Night all, if I don't make it, it's been nice knowing you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tresco Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 It's Sarah I feel sorry for...[kiss] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayJay Posted October 8, 2006 Share Posted October 8, 2006 Hey Chris, I'm surprised you have the energy to type![;-)] Sleep well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonzjob Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Well Chris, I have been hobbling around on a pair of crutches for the last week and I have had nowt but simpathy from my lovely wife. I hate to think what I would have had from this lot after the operation on my foot put me in agony for such a while. Never mind, we blokes will out and show the way in the end.I even had to go through the process of not having more than a small glass of wine because of the painkillers, but would this lot have given me any simpathy, I doubt it?They go on about child birth, but they never think of the poor bloke who had to start the ball roling in the first place and who has to put up with the sleepless nights, after the child is born, not being able to sleep because of the noise of nappies being changed. Oh what we men have to put up with... [Www]! Having to dodge all the nappies on the line (crikey that dates me don't it?).I will go and rest my weary head now and try to do some more recovery tomorrow [B]. Knight, knight! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayJay Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 John, I was gonna come out with a load of sympathy, but then I read on & thought nah![:P] Take care my sweet![;-)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meg Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 me too jayjay.....that first bit nearly bought out my sympathetic side! Louise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayJay Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Well Louise, how do we contact his wife?[;-)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meg Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Maybe Mrs Jonzjob has already set up a support group with Mrs Head! I feel for the poor lassies!Louise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayJay Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 Let's hope so, as it can't be easy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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