The value of drink

[Meg]

I got sent this email this morning: [:D]

The Value of a Drink

    "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink

    I feel shame Then I look into the glass and think

    about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes

    and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out

    of work and their dreams would be shattered.

    Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let

their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

    ~ Jack Handy

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the

hell happened to your bra and panties.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they

    wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're

    going to feel all day. "

    ~Frank Sinatra

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you

are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

    ~ Henny Youngman

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are

laughing WITH you.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."

    ~ Stephen Wright

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can

sing.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk ,

    we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.

    When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all

    get drunk and go to heaven!"

    ~ Brian O'Rourke

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

    ~ Benjamin Franklin

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like

an idiot.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "Without question, the greatest invention in the

    history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the

    wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does

    not go nearly as well with pizza."

    ~ Dave Barry

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends

over and over again that you love them.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a

can!

    ~ Dave Howell

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can

logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin , of

Cheers.

    One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo

Theory to his buddy Norm.

    Here's how it went:

    "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move

as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the

slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural

selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed

and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of

the weakes t members. In much the same way, the human brain can only

operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of

alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the

slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption

of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster

and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a

few beers."

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are

whispering when you are not.

[cooperlola]

I like to have a martini, one or two at most.  At three I'm under the table, at four, I'm under the host.

Dorothy Parker

[Meg]

[img]http://www.strangecosmos.com/images/content/8501.jpg[/img]

[Gemini_man]

and my wife would reply -

one drink and I'm anybodies

two drinks and I'm everybodies

three drinks and I'm nobodies

[Pierre ZFP]

One tequilla,

Two tequilla,

Three tequilla,

FLOOR

[Weedon]

I was in my village bar the other night............oh, have a look at the video of it instead.

 

http://www.fugly.com/videos/833/Chimp-on-Penguins.html

[Dick Smith]

Hah[:D]

[MrCanary]

Weedon - love it!