Sleep deprivation!

[Tresco]

Mr Outcast, i'm not sentimental about Cjb, i've never met him, but like you, I am a parent, and so, like you, have been through something similar to what is going on in his life.

It's not boring, it's part of the human condition. I like it, it's normal. Let's face it, the LF site isn't about cybernetics and control engineering is it? (Please, if there are any cybernetic guys or gals reading this, don't read anything into the above). It's about people who live here, or want to live here, and that means children, houses, goats, chickens, septic tanks, insulation, CPAM, ridiculous lists of stuff for schools etc etc. Are these things all boring? 

Mr Outcast, if you're going to start asking about wives, can I ask you, again, why you claimed Opas as your wife, and signed off as MrO (the name Opas's husband used to use when posting under her name)???????????.

Here's my guess. It was NYE, you'd had a few, you forgot to do what you usually do, you******d up and revealed what many people already knew (please don't start up with the data protection guys threat again).

I don't know how many id's you have,  but I do wish you would stick to one. The moderators here don't get paid for what they do, many of them have paid jobs. Give us all a break, please.

tresco

[Cjb]

We're going for a mix of breast feeding and bottle feeding from this point on. We're also going to be doing our upmost to keep her stimulated in the daytime as opposed to at night. I'm back to work tomorrow (bit of a holiday for me), but will be taking my 11 days paternity leave in early February. I've timed it so that I'll have 3 weeks off as I've taken the 11 days prior to the half term holiday. I know we teachers have a lot of holiday, but who wouldn't want to benefit from having as much time with their first born as possible.

As for the relevance of this post to life in France, from my experience, the clinic where our little one was born was fantastic and my wife was able to stay in for 5 days, in which time the midwives were more than willing to offer her tips and advive on feeding, changing nappies etc...... As for paternity leave I got 3 days for the birth and then a subsequent 11 days (includes weekends) and my wife has got 18 weeks of maternity leave, 8 before the birth and 10 after. You have to register the birth at the local Marie within 3 days (failing to do so can result in subsequent headaches with the regard to the allocation familiale)although this proved to be a fairly straightforward process.

To be able to receive advise from other parents is a great help, certainly as our own parents live so far away.

[Tresco]

Chris, are you able to take any of that 18 weeks, or is it just the mother in France?

The thing about being able to stay in after the birth for 5 days struck me, as friends/family who have had babies recently in England have been booted out after a few hours, well not booted, but it was definitely 'expected' of them to go home, and get on with it.

Complementing breast with bottle sounds good to me, getting into a shared routine, sharing the joy of 3am feeds, we hope, particularly if both of you are intending to return to work.

That limit the stimulation stuff is true, if you can bear to do it, be as boring as you possibly can be at night time, sleepy voice, slow movements. This was something I only learnt long after it was of any use to me personally, but I do believe in it now, and use it.

Again, best wishes to you and your wife, it's a wonderful thing new parenthood, nothing has ever beaten it for me.

[Cjb]

No, the 18 weeks are for mum. Normally it's 16 but there was a risk of premature birth with our daughter. I know that some Scandenavian countries allow mum and dad to share the leave, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't apply here. My wife's hoping to go back to university rather than her old job. And guess what, she wants to take the CAPES and become an English teacher. Two in the same family!!

My sister in law (lives in North London) left hospital the same day that she had her last child. This happened to be her third child, but first time mothers were getting the same treatment due to a lack of beds. My wife had a single room, with a colour TV and an en suite bathroom! Practically all of this was covered by our carte vital and mutuelle. I'd have thought this would be pretty reassuring for any young couples/families wishing to relocate to France.

We've also got the bilingual issue to deal with. Right from the off I'm speaking English with my daughter and her mother speaks to her in French. Apparently, even at this very early stage, it's the best approach to bringing up a bi-lingual child.

[Tresco]

My brothers children are Swedish, and in his family they did that, and it worked fine, the two oldest are 13 and 11, both fluently bilingual. If you are interested I will ask about the writing side of things, and pm you.

tresco

[Cjb]

Many thanks, Tresco. Any help/advice will be most welcome.

[0BRIAN WOODHEADI,m here in franceddMMyyyy0Falseen-USI,m here in franceTrue]

At least now cjd is posting some thing interesting and not just whinging about being tired,"we are mixing breast feeding with bottle feeding"???really, let me guess cjd is not the one breast feeding.Mr abcdef,have a nice day,ps from on parent here in france to another,cjd you only get the fam for 2 or more kids you wont get nowt for one,or is there something you have missed out.

[Jennys]

Dear CJB

I would like to add my bits of advice re baby sleeping through the night, having been through it with my 2 children. I agree with trying to keep the room dark, not making too much noise etc etc but one thing I would advise is NOT to change the baby's nappy during the night unless absolutely necessary. 

With our first baby, we were told to change the nappy before feeding, then you didn't wake them him again after feeding him.  We did so and often found that the nappy was hardly wet and after getting out of bed to change the nappy we were thoroughly awake.

With the second baby, we only changed her if the nappy was fat and sodden or smelt!!  (By the way she is called Amy as well!)  If she needed feeding in the night, I just took her out of the Moses basket, fed her quietly and put her back without getting out of bed myself.  I have to admit that at times when I was exhausted, even if the nappy ought to have been changed, I couldn't be bothered and she suffered no repercussions!

Good luck and hope things improve.  Once things get better, you will soon forget - that's why people have more than one!!

Regards

Jenny

 

 

 

[Me0wp00]

**ps from on parent here in france to another,cjd you only get the fam for 2 or more kids you wont get nowt for one,or is there something you have missed out.I,m here in france**

You get a monthly payment from the CAF until they are aged 3 if you qualify under the income bracket. I think the government then think you'll have decided that No 2 will be on it's way by then to get the benefit for the both of them until older Children at school.

My son is now 21 weeks and the same in lbs and gladly has been sleeping through the night *12-14hrs* for the last month to 6 weeks, He always slept quite well but woke up for a feed. We were advised by the PMI midwife to change the nappy before feed to help with reflux and also to keep Jacques sleepy enough although I'm using Lidls nappys that have a wetness indicator so ideal for not having to change them unnecessarily.

I fully recommend having children in france and am reassured by the care he and I have had, I'm very glad I didn't start my family in the UK from some of the horror stories I have heard recently.

We're even talking about no 2 although won't be attempting for another 9 months or so

[Teamedup]

Allocation Familiale isn't paid for one child though, which is basic family allowance. The other allocations are for those families on lower incomes and some of these allocations are fairly recent.