AnOther Posted January 20, 2007 Author Share Posted January 20, 2007 We're in the fortunate position (?) of not having any surviving aged parents to either to worry about or to influence our decisions (nor inheritances to be cut out of either) and our 2 children are very supportive so we can make the break quite cleanly.I do however feel for and sympathise with those experiencing parental pressures though, it must be a very difficult situation to be in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blanche Neige Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 "It's a generational thing also because with todays wall to wall entertainment the younger generation seem to have lost the ability to entertain themselves or be at peace with silence and solitude." ErnieY LolI know quite a few French families with young children and they seem much the same as any youngsters in the U.K. ................T.V . computer games etc. all part of your average french family.Anyone thinking about a move to rural France / U.K. anywhere would do well to read Judy Rumbold's "Reasons not to move to the country" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail17 Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Hi Agree with you there Blanche Neige. We were at our house in France, as you know we live in a small rural hamlet, for Christmas 2005 and our neighbours kindly invited us over to their house for Christmas night. We have two boys 14 & 10 who were amazed that all the children of the large french family spent the entire night on the playstation. Our boys without doubt enjoy games/pc etc but as a rule Christmas night is still treated as a real family affaire, if you get my gist. Our french neighbours were absolutely great and made us feel really welcome but it does just show that regardless of whether in France or the UK technology does play a large part in children's leisure time. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali-cat Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 [quote user="bedders"]Thanks for your thoughts.Aliards, i remember your problems and "final arrangements" how do you find Charente?Yes is know its drive off the ferry and turn right, [:)] but generally, are you pleased with your choice?We certainly enjoyed our visit there, but there are so many regions in which we would be quite happy.[/quote]Very mixed reviews, I'm afraid. I love it - Mark dosen't. I know he would go back to NI, tomorrow, if it was possible. We move into our own house in 2 weeks - so I hope (& pray) he'll be happier, there. He hates having nothing to do (not that we did anything, before we moved!) but at least we will be able to get stuck into doing up the house & garden & come spring & summer I hope he'll start to appreciate our new life. Sorry, to sound so down, about it all - but the last few weeks have been a bit rough. [:(] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catalpa Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 [quote user="bedders"]When our house went onto the market last year, the reaction was, "you go with our blessing of course" which was totally out of character. Now the reality has set in this has turned to "we're being dumped" "have we been such bad parents" "we're finished with you if you go" etc etc.[/quote]My parents were in their early 80s when we moved and generally healthy but not that mobile. They've always been supportive but were definitely sad as departure day drew close. Since we've been gone, they have realised that - because I only used to see them every few weeks anyway - nothing much has changed though they do have a keen interest in what we're doing. You may find, Bedders, that it is the fear of the unknown - life without you in the UK - that is causing your parents such angst at the moment. When you've gone and they realise life isn't actually that much different for them, they'll probably get used to it and become more positive again. I go back every 2 months and stay with mine for 4 or 5 days. They now feel they see more of me than when I lived 45 minutes away and say I'm a nicer, happier person to be with because long work hours and difficult, stressful jobs meant I was mostly an intolerant c*w when I was with them previously - because you can be with your parents. [:$] They are fascinated by what we're doing and I send them photos, notes, dvds, etc. That may work for your parents too - making them feel involved.Good luck. [:)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catalpa Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 [quote user="ali-cat"]Very mixed reviews, I'm afraid. I love it - Mark dosen't. I know he would go back to NI, tomorrow, if it was possible. We move into our own house in 2 weeks - so I hope (& pray) he'll be happier, there. He hates having nothing to do (not that we did anything, before we moved!) [/quote]When you arrive in your own home and establish your own routine and "knowing" the area (shops, cafes, markets, doctors, who's who) and make start making the area "home" it will probably be much better for him. We had the house here for 4 years before we moved so we'd already got a basic routine and it was our home - albeit holiday home. But it took a year or so before I felt we had a proper, familiar, settled life here with a proper routine. Good luck with your move. [:)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnOther Posted January 21, 2007 Author Share Posted January 21, 2007 [quote user="Blanche Neige"]Anyone thinking about a move to rural France / U.K. anywhere would do well to read Judy Rumbold's "Reasons not to move to the country"[/quote]I haven't read the book but can well imagine the contents and it should probably be required reading for those considering such a move.It's certainly not my place to praise nor criticise parents who choose to decamp to the country (be it in UK or elsewhere) with pre-teen or teenage children and I'm sure the majority will have done so only after proper consultation and their full agreemement, there must however, also be a good number for whom the decision was made rather more selfishly with insufficient regard for the effect on them. We have lived in a smallish village in the UK for the last 20 years and although there are a few activities and diversion for the youngsters anti social behaviour and acts of vandalism and petty theft etc. and indeed previously unheard of burglaries and car thefts, have increased exponentially over time. Unsurprisingly there was a step change shortly after we lost our village bobby some years ago.Mostly this is proably born out of boredom but a decline in the quality of parenting also plays a significant role. There's no doubt that this sort of environment can bring out the worst in some youngsters and the frustration of what might be an enforced move from town to country may be enough to tip some over to the dark side.I (mis)spent most of my youth in a not dissimilar village but had hobbies so didn't get as bored as some but the big difference between then and now is that boredom was seldom vented in as destructive, and often malicious, a way as seems to be commonplace today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugsy Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 [quote user="ali-cat"]Very mixed reviews, I'm afraid. I love it - Mark dosen't. I know he would go back to NI, tomorrow, if it was possible. We move into our own house in 2 weeks - so I hope (& pray) he'll be happier, there. He hates having nothing to do (not that we did anything, before we moved!) but at least we will be able to get stuck into doing up the house & garden & come spring & summer I hope he'll start to appreciate our new life. Sorry, to sound so down, about it all - but the last few weeks have been a bit rough. [:(][/quote]We are very happy and settled and wouldn't even consider going back to the UK. We do suffer a bit from 'cabin fever' in the winter as there is very little to do. One suggestion for you Ali-C is to make the effort to have at least one day out each week. Visit a different area within easy driving distance, it doesn't have to cost very much and you'll be amazed at the result.Just a suggestion...................................................[:)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali-cat Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 Thanks Bugbear. It's a very good suggestion & something we'll have to do, once we're settled, into our own place. With our health problems it's impossible to plan ahead - but, spur of the moment, days out are great ways to lift the spirits. [:)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bedders Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 Ali-cat wrote:We move into our own house in 2 weeks - so I hope (& pray) he'll be happier, there. He hates having nothing to do (not that we did anything, before we moved!) but at least we will be able to get stuck into doing up the house & garden & come spring & summer I hope he'll start to appreciate our new life. Hi, ex Ali@ards,Renting is fine to serve a purpose, but you cannot beat your own place. I'm sure that in 2 weeks time, Yourself & Mark will have your hands full, and more particularly so when spring arrives. It will add more structure to the week & he'll wonder what all the fuss was about.I remember he was getting more "wobbly" as the move got nearer, but you overcame that little problem.Best wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teamedup Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 [8-)] What, one can't be chez soi when one rents? About half the french population rent, I'm sure that they feel like they are chez eux.We rented for 15 months before we considered buying and were perfectly content in our appt. We may have rushed some things in our lives, but we needed to give living in another country a proper try before we made the big decision of buying in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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