Moving to France alone

[Rosie Rabbit]

This is my first post on the forum and I hope I'm posting in the right bit.

I am thinking of moving to France next year on my own.

Are there any other ladies here who have successfully made the move and are enjoying life?

Rosie

PS I am no spring chicken either!

[suein56]

Rosie Rabbit wrote : Are there any other ladies here who have successfully made the move and are enjoying life?

Hello and welcome. As no one else has replied I will say my bit.

This is not about me but about my friends.

Amongst the eleven women I can think of immediately who came to France on their own 3 were students who, quite literally, never went back to the UK - all still here, except for one who met her soul-mate on t'internet after her divorce here and now lives in Melbourne.

The other 8 came at various ages, some working here, some marrying here, with 3 coming here at around 60ish after life elsewhere.

These 3 are extremely content - leading busy lives with no thought of leaving due to ill-health. 2 speak excellent, if not fluent, French, one's French remains so-so even after 17 years, but that doesn't stop her joining a painting group and practising Xi Gong (spelling ?).

It depends, perhaps, on what you see yourself doing here, how you want your life to be.

Sue

[Patf]

Hoping you make it, Rosie.

I don't know any single women who have made the move.

The most common problems to be considered are ability to speak and read french,  entitlement to health insurance, and enough funds to support yourself.

[Chancer]

I can only reply as a single man who came here in his mid 40's but I think my experiences will be valid for a female.

 

I am confident outgoing, easy going and make friends very easily and would have no hesitation moving anywhere in the world and re-starting from scratch, in fact will be doing so again in the next couple of years.

 

My experience with this part of rural France was a real shock and eye opener, unless you want or are prepared to marry someone local you will need real strength of character to live a single life here, I have, most havn't.

 

I can honestly say that in 12 + years I have yet to meet anyone who would even come close to me wanting to share a life with, the decent open minded educated and/or intelligent people move away and never come back, I had one good relationship with a superb girl which i was very saddened to terminate but she was from a middle class family in Lille, lived and worked in the metropolis and found it impossible to support the people around  where I live, had it had worked out I would have had to move.

 

I have made but one new proper friend in 12 + years plus one that I had before moving here, all the things that I was used to doing in the UK to meet new people and from friendships are irrelevant here, anyone living outside of the expected norme is treated with suspicion if not outright hostility, a woman would be seen as easy game, for someone who is confident and knows how to exploit such a situation thats no bad thing, for others who want to remain single it would be hard to deal with.

[woolybanana]

Well, RR, if you wanna decent social life, either choose an area where there are loads of expats or one of the more vibrant areas of France, such as Bordeaux, Nantes or Angers.

Avoid seasonal areas of the coast as they are dead in the winter, as is deep country.

And get to work on that French hard.

Choose a property that is not too big, easy to manage and close to amenities....

One could go on.

Maybe you could spend a year or so renting first just to try the place.

Good luck with your project.

[suein56]

woolybanana wrote : Avoid seasonal areas of the coast as they are dead in the winter ...

Not here it ain't. Come September life begins ... when the visitors have for the most part gone, the grandchildren have returned whence they came and the clubs and organisations open up again. Here swimming continues but in the local pool rather than the sea, the horses are still there to be ridden, the golf course is still open as are the tennis courts, the am dram club takes up again, the music recitals take place, the plays, the pottery and gym and yoga start up etc etc etc. Never mind winter walks which are magical in winter.

Dead ... never !

But then I suppose it depends on which part of the coast you live by.

Edit : wooly wrote : Maybe you could spend a year or so renting first just to try the place.

You are so right there, that is an excellent idea ... and is what OH and I did when we arrived in 2005 as the price boom had resulted in affordable house prices hereabouts, so we rented for 6 years.

Sue

[alittlebitfrench]

I agree with woolys advice...except I would choose a smaller city if you went in that direction. Amboise for example.

I don't see any problems with moving alone. To be fair it will be easier. But it will come down to location, location, location. Don't be fooled into thinking that the best places to live in France is where all the other expats move to. Far from it !!!! You know the 'D' and the B and the N and Aubberson....and dead regions like L, C and all the rest of it. They move there for cheap houses and end up watching UK telly 24/7. Don't really see the point.

Choose carefully where to live and consider an apartment. I would rather live in a tiny apartment in Aix en Provence than some silly stone house in the middle of nowhere.

[Rosie Rabbit]

Thanks everyone for all your advice, it is appreciated.

I am pretty outgoing and have no problem in chatting to people.

I will admit to wanting the quintessential little Cottage and Garden but not in the middle of nowhere, preferably on the edge of a village.

I think on reflection apart from choosing the right location the rest is up to me, life is what you make it! Good idea about renting though, but not for a while. I still have recurring nightmares about a certain firm of British letting agents for whom the word 'maintenance' did not seem to feature in their vocabulary!

RR xx

[EuroTrash]

Yes Rosie, I moved to France on my own 10 years ago and have settled happily.

I moved to a small town because as you say, living alone in the middle of nowhere seemed like a good way to go dotty fast (or should I say 'even dottier').

I brought my work here with me and am still working. Had I not been working I think I may have been less focused and not built the life that I have built.

"Meeting Mr Right' is nowhere on my list of priorities, but I've been lucky to meet a very nice French chap who feels pretty much the same way so we help each other out when either of us feels obliged to produce a "partner" at some social do or other. But the locals seem to accept me as a single working woman, they probably class me as batty but harmless and that's fine by me. I'm not sure why it's such a challenge to live a single life in Chancer's neck of the woods, There are plenty of single people living here.

[Chancer]

[quote user="EuroTrash"] I'm not sure why it's such a challenge to live a single life in Chancer's neck of the woods, There are plenty of single people living here.[/quote]

 

Mentalité étroite et fermée.

 

Be aware that what a previous poster saying about come la rentrée all the activities recommence, there is another side to that, every social contact that you will have worked so hard to nurture whether it be through a club, an association, sport or whatever will stop dead come les grand vacances, speaking for these parts, if you were to suggest anything  within the 2months "why dont a few of us............" etc you will be met with the head shaking "Oh non-non-non-non-non" even though most people dont even go away on holiday, I really dont get it but its like its completely forbidden to spend any time or have anything to do with anyone else for 2 months, if you had an accident your remains would never be found till la rentrée maybe much later, one poor soul was found dead in his Paris apartment after 20 years.

 

That was definitely the hardest adjustment that I had to make, its of no consequence now that I have lettings, the summer is my busiest time when the long term tenants leave for their families and short term 1 or 2 night renters take over, I have not had a day off for close to 3 months and today was the first morning that I could sleep in if I wished but I still have to visit 3 places in Amiens, do one changeover and be back for 16.00.

[BritinBretagne]

I am so glad that I don't live in a desolate area like that. In my part of rural France there is so much going on it's impossible to do everything. My French neighbours certainly don't cut themselves off for August. The highlight of this August was a live concert by an award winning young Russian pianist playing nearby but there has been plenty going on throughout.

There are many single British ladies living in my area. In the main they seem to be cheerful and well integrated into local groups both French and British led.

[alittlebitfrench]

I would hate to live in an artificial bubble like yours.

BTW, how long you been living in France BinB ?

Also, those single ladies you speak of, were they married when they arrived ? LOL.

[BritinBretagne]

Yes, all arrived single.

[alittlebitfrench]

How do you know ? lol

Sounds to me like your a bit of a 'Casanova in Bretagne'

[Chancer]

If the many customers that I have had from Bretagne are representative then it would be close to the top of my wish list were I to go back in time and choose a region with the knowledge I have gained, very warm friendly open people.

 

I am not surprised that single British women went there, felt at home and remained

[EuroTrash]

I actually had Brittany in mind when I started planning the move, I fancied renting a twee little apartment in intra muros Saint Malo and going for a workout on the beach every morning. But trying to rent turned out to be such a hassle that it seemed simpler to buy somewhere and be done with it. And although I would have happily rented in Brittany for a few years at leastI actually felt more at home in Normandy, so that's where I bought. No regrets, it was the right decision.

[alittlebitfrench]

@ Chancer

If I had your renovation skills, your language skills, your business acumen I would head straight for a ski resort in the Alpes. You would do so well. I don't see you 'en' Bretagne.

In fact, if I was a single person moving to France I would head straight for the Alpes. If we did not have kids, we would go straight to the Alpes without stopping go.

[BritinBretagne]

I meant to write all the ones I've met came on their own. Separated or widowed women seem to go 'home'. Meeting Miss/Mrs Right-Englishwoman certainly wasn't on my list of reasons to live in France but I have talked to a few single British women at social gatherings, within groups I've been on visits with and two or three who've stopped me in the street to ask directions. I know of far more single British women living in and around my town than single men. Being single and female certainly doesn't seem to be a reason to not live in France.

[BritinBretagne]

Please tell me what artificial bubble I live in? I have owned my home in a small French town for over 25 years, my partner is French (local) and Most if my friends have their roots here. How is that either artificial or a bubble? Oh, I forgot, you seem great on generalisations. Thank God I'm not Dan in Dorgoigne or you would be like a dog with a bone. I believe it's you who is fake and needs a life.

[alittlebitfrench]

Dan lives in Nice. Lol

Where did you suddenly come form Brit in Bretagne ?

Forums are dead these days with only a handful messing about to keep things alive. The muppets are on facebook these days.

You have been in France/owned a property in France for 25 years and you suddenly pop out of nowhere !!!

Hmmm...has internet just arrived in your village or are you just someone messing about ?

[woolybanana]

Perhaps the pot and the kettle here?

[Chancer]

[quote user="alittlebitfrench"]@ Chancer If I had your renovation skills, your language skills, your business acumen I would ..........................

 

A. - not be able to get my head through the door!

 

B. -  Have made a small fortune out of a large one like you!

[/quote]

 

I dont intend staying in France but if I did the ski area would be a serious contender, there is serious money to be made for a bi-lingual multi-trade Chancer that understands customer expectations. A Swedish guy was writing his own paycheque.

[BritinBretagne]

I have used AI for years but only found this forum by chance a week or so ago when I followed a link posted there. I tried a couple of others forums but they were too much like private clubs where only the longstanding members had a say. Complete France seems to have a bit if life do I signed up.

Next question?

[woolybanana]

Very good, BinB. Stay here and it is fun and saisfying. Just be prepared for the likes of ALBF. Plus, it useful.

[Patf]

And many of the separate forums go back to 2002 (click on 'France Forums' to see the subjects) so cover a huge range of topics.

2002 was when CFstarted (under another name.)

Make full use of the Search facility.