redkite Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Is it just me or do others get miffed when, for example, sitting around a mixed language dinner table one feels excluded. I do not speak another language, and to be in company with others that are bilingual and talk in a language that they know I do not understand really gets up my nose. Being in France and others speaking French I put to one side and try to live with it but it really is most frustrating. My son for example speaks perfect French (and Welsh as it happens) and his French girlfriend speaks very good English but when at my dinner table they both speak French knowing that I do not understand.... what am I to do?A while back when in the UK my wife and I were very good friends with a German couple who would speak German to one another during the meal even though both spoke more than perfect English. Language we know is more than the spoken word - it is also about gesture, situation, and location that enables us in part to decipher and follow what is being said, and in the case of our German friends it was quite obvious that negative comments were being made about the dinner.I never had the courage (or rudeness) to say 'excuse me, but I do not understand what you are saying... can you speak English?'And you know the worst culprits? Not the French that speak English, but the English that speak French seeming to me at least to take pleasure is showing off at the expense of those that do not understand what they are talking about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolybanana Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 It is bad manners to make anyone at a table or in a conversation feel ill at ease. Draw you own conclusions.Time to make a big effort to learn French though? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 You have a PM Wooly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chancer Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 This posting just has to be a wind up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redkite Posted May 29, 2009 Author Share Posted May 29, 2009 Well yes Wooly, I should learn French and do try. Being over 60 and hard of hearing makes it rather difficult though.And why a wind up JR? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frederick Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 I think that I might buy a little union jack flag stick it in a potato and put it in the middle of the table ...While the flags there thats the language at the table ..if somone reverts to another one push the flag towards them ....they might get the message then ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 That could catch on Frederick [:)]Alternatively you could try lobbing a stale slice of bread in the direction of the transgressor foolish enough to speak French at the table (or stamping on their foot under the table if your shot isn't that good).I myself favour a pea-shooter though[Www] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolybanana Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 [quote user="redkite"]Well yes Wooly, I should learn French and do try. Being over 60 and hard of hearing makes it rather difficult though.And why a wind up JR? [/quote]Being over 60 is no bar to learning languages but if you are deaf, how do you know which language they are speaking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
powerdesal Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 [quote user="redkite"]And you know the worst culprits? Not the French that speak English, but the English that speak French seeming to me at least to take pleasure is showing off at the expense of those that do not understand what they are talking about. [/quote]redkite,You will probably find, in time, that there are a number of those type of English people on this forum. [:(] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DerekJ Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 When we got back to the UK after our last trip we sent an email (in french) along with some photos to one of our French neighbours in whose company we spent quite a bit of time on that last visit. They speak no English at all. There was a bit of a delay in them replying but when they did they'd managed to do it in english... a nice touch I thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carmelle Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 I am very sorry for you Redkite , there are too often impolite people . Ignore them , ( but be open-minded with your son and his french girlfriend : they live on another planet !). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chancer Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 [quote user="redkite"]Well yes Wooly, I should learn French and do try. Being over 60 and hard of hearing makes it rather difficult though.And why a wind up JR? [/quote]Sorry! I now realise that I didnt read your post properly and appreciate that you were talking about your son and girlfriend and the German friends but crucially in the UK and not in FranceWhat should you do? Well I guess what you suggested, ask them tpolitely o speak in English, also be aware that it is easy to overestimate someones level of fluency and call them bilingual or fluent, how many times do I hear said to me by those that have made no attempt to learn French "Oh its alright for you, you are fluent/bi-lingual" I am of course neither, nor even fluent in my mother tongue.The other thing to appreciate is the dynamic within the couple, usually the language spoken is the one that is the strongest second language to allow maximum understanding (if you get my drift.) unless one of the parties insists to better learn the others language.With my previous girlfriend we only ever spoke French although I had a suspicion knowing her education that she had learnt English to a high level, sometimes she would surprise me by knowing a complex word or phrase in English that I could not grasp in French, that said I was more than happy with the situation and never ever asked or encouraged her to speak in English.As a consequence when we holidayed in the UK we only spoke French to each other, she would be polite to my family and say please and thank you etc but that was the extent of the conversation. Then one day we went to church and the vicar asked her if she enjoyed the service and was able to follow, she replied at length in very good English and took my breath away!The other person whom she chatted with was my step-mother but then she had been very understanding with her and even used her rusty French wheareas the rest of my family just ingnored this foreigner little knowing that she understood everything that they said! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redkite Posted May 31, 2009 Author Share Posted May 31, 2009 Thanks all. Plenty of things to think about and of course take on board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odile Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 my parents did that at the dinner table when we were little and they had to say things they didn't want us to understand!This is perhaps the impetus I needed to want to learn German and English!My OH is 63 and having just moved to Switzerland is working very hard to improve his French - he is certainly not using his age as an excuse - and he is definitely NOT a linguist.Why not beat them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odile Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 Thought about you today Redkite - was picking a huge bouquet of wildflowers for my dad's funeral tomorrow - and a pair of red kites were soaring just above our heads (in Swiss Jura - so many here- but always a joy). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
powerdesal Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 [quote user="redkite"]Thanks all. Plenty of things to think about and of course take on board.[/quote]Do you have a boat? or is it a plane? [8-)] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redkite Posted June 2, 2009 Author Share Posted June 2, 2009 Ah yes, just the boat at the moment. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redkite Posted June 2, 2009 Author Share Posted June 2, 2009 That's nice.They really are an amazing sight... and now the national bird of Wales. Talking of wildflowers, my middle daughter gets married in a couple of months and she's chosen to carry a bouquet of them at her wedding. Nice touch I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odile Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 I hope you all have a wonderful time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gardengirl Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 We constantly have red kites in the sky around our house in suburban Reading (not known for soaring hills or huge areas of woodland like in the Jura) - a lovely sight. Some were released in a wildlife area near High Wycombe a few years ago, and their young have spread all over the area. I think they also released some in Wales.Happy wedding!Jo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now