Most Obnoxious Guest

[Quillan]

We had a yank come to stay for four nights and it may be nothing to do with him being a yank but here is a list.

 

Missed plane from Paris to Toulous because the Metro in Paris is useless and he went the wrong way on the train. Not his fault, he lives in NY and rides the subway every day so he knows about trains.

 

Because of the above he arrived at Carcassonne late and asked me to pick him up because the cost of a taxi was too much. Did that and charged him 50€.

 

Told me he usually hitches and gets a ride every time because the French love Americans but hate the English.

 

When we got back and he was sat down to dinner and given lardon salad exclaimed ‘WHAT is this rubbish – I don’t eat ham”. Turns out he was Jewish but never said so even when we asked if he had any special dietary requirements when booking the meal several weeks previous. Ended up with my wife crying in kitchen.

 

Told our French and Belgian guests over breakfast that he had finally forgiven them for dragging America in to WW2 because they were cowards and let the Germans run all over them.

 

Further upset the Belgians by offering them a game of Scrabble and stated that it was a UK set and there would not be as many H’s and L’s in the letters as after all “those were the only ones you needed if you spoke Flemish”.

 

Do we have poison for cockroaches as everyone knows that houses in France are over run with them?

 

Guests left breakfast as soon as he sat down on the first two days then they all asked to have theirs before him thereafter.

 

One Belgian tried to hit him and had to be restrained on the last day of his stay.

 

Demanded a lift to the station at 5:30 on the day of departure but demanded breakfast first.

 

It would be totally impossible to describe his condescending one of voice. We are so luck, he told us, that the Americans are there to save the world from terrorism and just about everything else when it comes to it. Aren’t we the lucky ones.

 

Needless to say if he ever tried to book with us again we will be full.

 

He is not the only American we have had stay, the rest have been very nice.

[Miki]

Don't worry Chris,

Coco will take him, she has offered to take all the other pain in the butts, well except children anyway

[Alexis]

Wonderfull.

You will laugh about this all winter snuggled up around the fire.

Well. I hope so.

Thank you Lord for making me too lazy to run a B&B.

Get on with that ironing....

[shauna]

Fantastic Story! lt was so visual and so "Faulty Towers". You will surely have a wonderful dinner party story for a long time to come....loved it..... although l am sure that you have only been able to laugh retrospectively it is certainly a gem  Regards Shauna.

[mascamps.com]

Oh dear. Perhaps I better drop the tollfree number and stop trying to attract the Americans!

I find that most New Yorkers are like that. Even when they're in NY. All the rest of America is relatively normal though now and again you need to make allowances as they don't travel outside the US an awful lot.

 

Arnold

 

[Lori]

Have to admit, our most difficult guests were from, you guessed it, New York...

[Coco]

Don't worry Chris,

Coco will take him, she has offered to take all the other pain in the butts, well except children anyway

It takes all sorts, we've had a lot of experience of Republicans, of which he is clearly one.  We offer a safe haven for Republicans and Democrats alike.  We don't differentiate between the two.  We find that at the end of the day they all tend to fly the flag and are proud of their country, which is nothing to be ashamed of, but you will always find one pain in the ass, be they American, British, French, Belgian, or under 10 years of age.  Sorry you had a bad experience, s**t happens sometimes. 

[Miki]

[quote]Have to admit, our most difficult guests were from, you guessed it, New York...[/quote]

Yep gotta agree, some of them are just too..............

Got to say it though, the most hilarious and wonderful guest we have had in years was a Jewish taxi driver out of New York and his wife. He was a ringer for Jackie Mason and was every bit as good with the gags. He had us all in stitches for days with his stories about life and work in New York.

Then a couple of years ago, we had 3 southern Belles from North Carolina who were politeness and light personified, great gals. We stopped over in Normandy at some wonderful Auberge near Bayeux and then at Le Mont St Michel where we all ate at Mere Poulards and all paid for by some US travel service.....but we wont mention the American family who thought that all the croissants, rolls and mini thingys etc(it's late !) put out at 07.55 were theirs and proceeded to load the table to overflowing until Tina asked for some of it back for other guests and then they complained we had no grits and flapjacks or syrup for the afore mentioned and whined for two days about France and its lack of just about everything not American ..... I guess the term is when in Rome,....................... eat like you are in New York !!

[mascamps.com]

I can understand them assuming that everything is theirs. Have you ever had a proper American breakfast? We had one once and were really struggling to eat even half of it. We had a steak (we're talking something about half the size of a dinner plate here), pile of pancakes (like a dozen or so), chips, eggs (2 I think), not to mention the syrup and whatnot plus a few other things that I've since forgotten about (all those per person too!). In total a table about three foot by six was completely covered in food for the three of us.

In comparison, I'd say that even our "full english" breakfast would only amount to perhaps a third of that in terms of sheer volume and you'd be talking easily six continental to match the volume.

Like I say, a lot of Americans don't leave the US and therefore we're collectively bound to get a fair number of first-timers who just assume that American scale breakfasts are the norm. In the past we've put the croissants and pain au chocolat on the individual tables which avoids the problem of someone raking in the heap.

 

Arnold

 

[Miki]

So de we but this lot simply went up to the counter where I was still taking the rest of the guests breakfasts from, to put on to the tables !!

How can you understand that ????

I don't care if they have Desperate Dan meals (looking on the TV there are certainly a few "large ones" back in the States, so they must tuck in alarmingly regularly and grossly !) this lot would have let the rest of our guests starve, if we had not intervened !!