Tipping

[Coco]

This summer we have had a lot of Americans to stay and have discovered that almost all of them have left us a fairly generous (20 euros for a two night stay, 30 euros for 4 nights) tip when we have come to clean the room.  Of course it is gratefully received, as every little helps to boost the income, however, it has made me stop and think a little.  Sometimes people have asked on this forum whether it is acceptable to tip certain professions or whether it would be regarded as demeaning or insulting.  At first I was delighted to discover the money, then I did feel a little demeaned.  We had felt that we had got along well with these people and that we were sharing our evenings with our guests on an equal footing, it then made me feel that they must have seen us as employees/servants/whatever you want to call it.  However, I very quickly reverted back to thinking "thanks that's an added bonus"   Ultimately the size of my bank balance makes me not take offence at the generous gifts from our clients but it is an interesting situation to be in.

I personally also find it quite interesting, as many years ago when I worked on cruise ships (a huge tipping area) it was a well-known fact that the Brits tipped at the end of a cruise if they believed they had had good service.  Whereas the Americans used the "carrot" method of quite openly offering a tip "up front" and making it quite clear there would be the same amount again at the end, if they were "looked after" well.  So to find that these people have left the money in the room, to be found after they have left, is, I suppose, in a way a compliment.  I suppose my slight problem with accepting tips now is that in my past life, as an officer, we were not allowed to accept tips as we were regarded as being "above" that.

Have any of you other B&Bers experienced this?  And how do you/would you feel about it?

[1938]

its an expected thing in america, we have stayed in several apartments booked over the net and they always leave an envelope for you to put the tip in so i suspect that is what the americans expect to do, so hey a bonus

[Babnik]

I can't really understand why you feel demeaned? I also do not think you are on an equal footing, even if you share meals. They are the guests, you are the hosts, and you are providing a service for money. The money makes the difference. If they were just friends, then I'd guess you are on an equal footing, but you accept payment for a service, and however firnedly you are, you are still the 'hired help' as the americans would call it. Having said that, I'm sure it's just a cultural thing, and your American guests mean nothing by it!

[Lori]

Very American...  but not with all Americans.  It is kind of old school.  I am quite certain it was meant as a compliment to the pleasure you offered them.

I have several friends who have asked me if they are supposed to leave a tip in the hotels in France....  This is customary with many Americans.

[Coco]

Oh please, I hope no one thinks I'm having a dig at our guests for doing this.  Quite the contrary, after the initial surprise of the "find" I was quite delighted, because I did take it as a compliment that they were obviously more than satisfied with the service and standard of accommodation they experienced.  I was the most surprised to have the initial feeling that it was a little demaning - but I suppose that's just reality kicking in and putting me in my place 

However, as for being on an equal footing, just because we accept money from people does not put them higher up the "pecking order", so from that point of view yes, I do believe we are equals.  Indeed, if you've read my other posting about guests we would not let in, then I most certainly feel SUPERIOR to some of the aweful guests we have, even though they pay us.  After all, manners maketh man, and when there's no respect for your host's property, it shows a distinct lack of manners and breeding and consequently they are the lesser people for behaving in such a way - money can't buy everything .

However, all of our American guests had already earned my respect and admiration for their friendliness, intelligence, charming manners and the respect they showed to both us and our property.  The tips really were an added bonus.  So keep 'em coming!!!

[Lachouette]

I have to say that I felt demeaned when a French woman pressed a 1€ coin into my hand at the end of her stay last year!  Apart from that one occassion, I don't feel demeaned and am pleased that people have enjoyed their stay enough to feel they want to give a little something extra.

Jan

[Davies]

I would take in this instance it that the Americans left a tip, as is customary in hotels,motels, for the chambermaid. They probably suspect that the owners and room cleaner may well one and the same but as they may not be certain, to omit to tip may be doing someone out of a tip who might rely on it- so they are erring on the side of caution (and generosity) My wife always follows this practice but on a daily basis although some room cleaning staff will not take it until the occupant has finally checked out; to avoid any misunderstanding of theft,I imagine  She doesn't view it as tipping the owners. I think that most people in the service industry at most levels welcome tipping as much as an acknowledgment as for the monetary value (although that's important too!)

  I imagine that like the majority of people, I just want to do the right thing, but I am concerned that I might under-tip and appear a tightfist or over-tip

[Iceni]

I rarely tip, anywhere for anything. My "logic" being that I expect good service to be provided as that is what I believe I am paying for. Back in my wage slave days no-one tipped me for doing my job - but I would not feel demeaned to get a bit extra particularly if free of tax and cotisations.

However, if/when I DO tip it should be in cash into the hand of the worker - not by credit card or cheque or it may never reach the intended beneficiary - and better in advance to try to guarantee special treatment.

So I suggest that any who feel compelled to maintain the the master/servant relationship with  coins and notes follow the "cash in hand" line.

John

not

[Teamedup]

We always tip when we have had good service. Grieves me too much to know the hours that are worked in the restauration trade mainly illegally really and the staff are simply not getting paid for these extra hours, always amazes me as to how good service can be in restos considering.

Although if the service is lousy then I am not a good tipper.

[Iceni]

"Although if the service is lousy then I am not a good tipper. "

TU - this implies that you still tip something just not as much - why anything ??

John

not